Originally Posted by gumshoegirl007
(we'll let it work out it's own gender).
we'll let the kiddo work out his/her own gender in due time
as to sex... I'm so conflicted...
I found out at 20 wks w/ DS. Just bc I was young and it had never really occurred to me to not find out.
W/ DD, I so badly wanted the "amazing surprise" everyone talks about. So, we didn't find out, and we had tons of 3rd tri ultrasounds. We covered our eyes and no one told and we were geared up for a great surprise.
The waiting was great. We were excited and it was fun bc everyone was interested in my birth and it was great to give DD at least her fetal life to live un-gendered.
Then she was born... and it was really anti-climatic.
I don't know what I had been expecting, but I didn't even look to see her sex until someone reminded me to bc I was so in awe of birth (and I had a significant hemorrhage w/ my placenta that kind of made me a little shocky)...
Plus, we have a REALLY hard time w/ girl names, and we hadn't settled on a girl name thinking there was a 50/50 chance we didn't need one... she wasn't named for many days after birth and the stress of naming her was a huge downer during babymoon.
So... I don't know what we're going to do. Honestly, I'm not even sure why we wouldn't find out- on some level, I feel guilty finding out at US... like, it would be more natural or "real" to wait...and like I'm gendering my kid before I have to... does anyone else feel like this?
We'll probably find out just bc of the name issue. We already have two boy names and one girl name... but if we need TWO girl names, heaven help us. That to me seems like a cheap reason to find out, but, seriously, it was a brutal way to spend a babymoon.
Gah. So conflicted. Any advice welcome.
Others that have mentioned older sibs- I DO think it would have helped DS if we had found out prenatally w/ DD. He was very attached to the idea of a little brother and it took him a month or so to bond w/ her just bc she wasn't his brother. That said, it was a really good lesson in gender for him bc he tells everyone now how it doesn't matter if your sibling is a boy or a girl, bc you will love them the same.