My feelings are really hurting right now. So, this is probably going to jumbled and nonsensical. I think that it is primarily because I have just had my two miscarriages in the last three months, so I am more emotional than I may typically be, but perhaps I am also just coming to terms with how very messed up my family is.
My mother and father live across the country from me and my little family. They told us in the spring that they would be visiting and staying with my oldest sister in a nearby town, in the summer. Then plans changed and they decided to come visit in the early fall, as my niece was/is graduating from high school.
I was happy that we were going to see them. The last time they came to stay with my sister two years ago. So, they have only seen my DS for a couple of hours when he was 4 months old. He does "see" them on skype, but it is not the same.
My DS looks forward to visiting with them on the computer and they always seem so happy. They read books and sings songs, it is sweet to see them all using technology to bridge that distance. It reminds me of some of my favorite childhood moments with them.
A few weeks went by without any skyping as the summer got busy. We are the ones who typically initiate all contact, and just haven't done that as much, lately. I heard from my aunt that my parents are not coming to visit, that my sister and her family are going to visit them, instead.
I think that not hearing from them that plans had changed hurt coupled with the fact that the sister that they are in regular contact with and who they changed plans with/for recently "unfriended" me in facebook.
She told messaged me to tell me that she was going to have to remove me as a friend because it has just become too confusing for people who don't know the whole situation and she is constantly having to explain my situation to people. She had offended some people, and does not want to do that. But, that she loves and cares about me.
The situation that she is talking about is that I choose to not live the way that she, my parents, and my brother does. They are very committed to their religion. It is their whole life. I disengaged myself from that religion over 3 years ago. Since that time our relationship changed completely. They will not share a meal with me or stay under the same roof. I had come to terms with that change a long time ago, but the recent changes have jarred me.
It saddens me to think that their love is conditional, after all. And, that even though I always leave the door open for them, especially in regards to my DS, they ultimately don't care.
I don't even know what I am really looking for here. Maybe I just needed to tell someone. Maybe I just need some reassurance of some kind. I don't really even know. Does anyone have any advise on where to go from here?
My mother and father live across the country from me and my little family. They told us in the spring that they would be visiting and staying with my oldest sister in a nearby town, in the summer. Then plans changed and they decided to come visit in the early fall, as my niece was/is graduating from high school.
I was happy that we were going to see them. The last time they came to stay with my sister two years ago. So, they have only seen my DS for a couple of hours when he was 4 months old. He does "see" them on skype, but it is not the same.
My DS looks forward to visiting with them on the computer and they always seem so happy. They read books and sings songs, it is sweet to see them all using technology to bridge that distance. It reminds me of some of my favorite childhood moments with them.
A few weeks went by without any skyping as the summer got busy. We are the ones who typically initiate all contact, and just haven't done that as much, lately. I heard from my aunt that my parents are not coming to visit, that my sister and her family are going to visit them, instead.
I think that not hearing from them that plans had changed hurt coupled with the fact that the sister that they are in regular contact with and who they changed plans with/for recently "unfriended" me in facebook.
She told messaged me to tell me that she was going to have to remove me as a friend because it has just become too confusing for people who don't know the whole situation and she is constantly having to explain my situation to people. She had offended some people, and does not want to do that. But, that she loves and cares about me.
The situation that she is talking about is that I choose to not live the way that she, my parents, and my brother does. They are very committed to their religion. It is their whole life. I disengaged myself from that religion over 3 years ago. Since that time our relationship changed completely. They will not share a meal with me or stay under the same roof. I had come to terms with that change a long time ago, but the recent changes have jarred me.
It saddens me to think that their love is conditional, after all. And, that even though I always leave the door open for them, especially in regards to my DS, they ultimately don't care.
I don't even know what I am really looking for here. Maybe I just needed to tell someone. Maybe I just need some reassurance of some kind. I don't really even know. Does anyone have any advise on where to go from here?
It must hurt a lot to not be loved unconditionally by your own family. 
