Birthdays 101

[petitchou]

What does a birthday party look like?

I know that sounds like a funny question but we moved back to the US last year and I'm not sure what's 'normal' here.

Ds1 will be 4 in November. Last year we just did family and a few family friends. This year seems to be a whole 'nother story. He's in a tight knit preschool class of 12 plus we have some great neighbors with kids as well. Add family and close friends into that and it's a lot of people.

Large parties are okay, I love hosting things like that. Ds isn't particularly close to anyone here and being the 'new kids on the block', I kind of feel like I want to include everyone. His party will be the first in his class and I'd like it to be a time for the parents to get to know each other as well. We have a backyard and I'll have some stations/activities planned.

Does this sound okay to you? Do most people invite family and friends all together? What do you do for birthdays?

[Learning_Mum]

We've always just done family parties, however DS1 turned 5yo this year and it was the first year that he had his 'own' friends. Meaning friends that he made himself, rather than my friends kids.

We hired out his kindy and invited the kids that he wanted to. He had a bigger class of 45 so we sure weren't inviting all them! Then we invited the family. All my family have small kids, except for my sister and she came, but her kids who are older, had other things to do.

We hired a clown and facepainter. The kids basically played. The adults talked. We put out food and then the kids watched the clown do magic, got balloon animals made and had their faces painted and then ran around and played again. Everyone had a great time and I'd say it was an awesome party!

[staceychev]

You may want to do something on the invitation that makes it clear that it's a family party. I think that, at four, no one was expecting drop-off parties, but it may be different in your area. You also may want to be clear if it's whole families that are invited or just child-peer and supervising adult. A lot of times, one parent will go while the other parent stays with other kids. If your secondary motive is to get to know the families, I'd say so!

By the way, it sounds like a really nice time!

[pianojazzgirl]

I've been to a couple of different types of birthday parties for kids around that age. One is just like what you describe: school friends, neighbourhood friends, family friends and family all having a big BBQ in the backyard. The other is to try to keep it smaller: just school friends plus a small number of other invitees (usually kids of the same age). I think it can work well either way. I also find it's more common for parties to get smaller(ish) and more kid/school friend-oriented the older they get. At your ds's age it seems to be more common to have big everyone-included parties.

If you're going to go the route of inviting the whole big gang it can take a bit more planning. I've done this before and I found a real challenge in having enough games/activities that would interest all age groups. This weekend we're having a medium-sized party for my ds's 3rd birthday and there will be kids ranging from almost-2 to almost-8. I'm planning face painting and fake tattoos for those who want it (ds is really into those at the moment). A "fishing" game where an adult hides behind the couch and attaches prizes to a "fishing rod" (figuring out non-crappy-cheap-plastic, but not-too-expensive prizes that will appeal to a wide age-range is a challenge in and of itself!). A wall covered in paper for the kids to draw on (and/or an outside wall to draw on with chalk weather permitting). That's all I've got so far (I'll be watching this thread for more ideas!). For dd's 6th b-day a couple of weeks ago I made a pinata and that was a big hit.

You're lucky that you have a big back yard (and presumably live in a warmer place than I do, lol!). Having a big space for the kids to run around in will go far. I'd have lots of balls for them to play with. Bubbles are fun too (and can make an inexpensive party favour). At my dd's friend's 6th birthday they gave water guns for all the kids to play with which was really fun, but might be problematic in a crowd of adults/other people I guess.

[Linda on the move]

Different parties are different, but here in the states, the Goodie Bag is very important. Every child expects a small bag with some candy and some sort of small toy(s). There have been whole threads about Goodie Bags!

We do birthdays very different for our two kids, because our kids are very different from each other and don't like the same kind of parties.

[ChristyMarie]

I've done a combo of friends/family/school and it works well. The parents usually mingle a bit.

DS turned 4 in July. I had planned on a water party outside with pools, sprinklers, a slip and slide and them playing on his swingset. Then it rained.

We set up a tent and a few games inside. They played in that a bit then moved down to his play area and just played with his regular toys.

One thing you'll want to decide is the time and meal or no meal. If you do it at an off-meal time just have cake and maybe a bowl of snacks out. Otherwise you have to figure out what you'll feed everyone and where they'll eat, etc.

Originally Posted by staceychev

You may want to do something on the invitation that makes it clear that it's a family party.

Definitely. I write "siblings welcome!" on the invitations.

Different parties are different, but here in the states, the Goodie Bag is very important. Every child expects a small bag with some candy and some sort of small toy(s). There have been whole threads about Goodie Bags!

And, um, I don't do goodie bags. Sorry. No one has ever complained.


ETA: for decorations I usually get a ton of balloons. I also do themed table covers, napkins, plates. But I don't go crazy with it.

[childsplay]

For my kid's 5'th birthdays (I've had 4 of them : ) we've invited the whole class, which would be about 20 kids including my three young ones.

What they do - They decorate brown paper lunch sacs with glitter glue, markers and stickers, or they decorate wooden treasure chests (this is either done on the covered deck (for my May b-days) or at the kitchen table (Nov. B-day) they fill the paper sacs with treasure from the hunt and pinata candy.
Outdoor treasure hunt in the forest regardless of weather. Also just regular ol' free play, running around in the woods, playing in the treehouse, on the swings, riding the bikes, shooting baskets, etc.

Food- we bbq hotdogs, serve cake & ice cream, we've also done make-your-own-crazy-sundaes. We also serve Cheezies and orange, grape and pink soda. (ya...totally unhealthy )

Invites- only the person it's addressed to - no siblings. my kids are just funny about that. We have, for younger birthdays had siblings in which case I always wrote, "you and your family are invited to ...." But without the family/siblings I always tell the parents that they're more than welcome to stay but so far, out of close to 100 kids, only three have ever stayed (and two of them snuck away half way through) So, mainly it's a 'dump and run' which seems to be the thing around here. Even my twins 4'th b-day, I invited their nursery school clas and not one parent stayed. They were actually quite happy to drop their child off and have some free time. I'm fine with that 'cause I'm kinda of the same mind.....
Also I always include on the invite to dress for the weather (meaning boots/raincoats or summer clothes) because we do lots of stuff outdoors.

The only family that we invite (and they come and help) are my folks and my brothers & wives/gf's , and my older DS & his girlfriend. My Dad bbq's, my Mom spends most of the time helping me in the kitchen/serving food/ breaking up fights, DS and his g/f handle the treasure hunt, DH handles the pinata, and my brothers tell the kids totally whacked out stories. So everyone kind of has a 'job' and everything goes smoothly.

We do a pinata (homemade, reinforced with wire and stuffed with candy) we hang it from our basement rafters and use a wooden bat.

Loot bags- always! Along with the treasure from the hunt, and the pinata candy I always make up fun lootbags (with kites/balls/ girly stuff like lip gloss and nail polish/ foam airplanes, flashlights...stuff like that)

Games- no, we don't have games. We tried but the kids are so busy running around, they're just not focused enough to line up and wait their turn, plus, someone ALWAYS ends up crying. We do have karaoke though, and the girls love it (although the boys kept making fart noises into the second mic last time )

We usually run it from 2-4:30 (the extra 1/2 hour is always needed) It's really noisy, but really fun. (just keep a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge for after the last child leaves )

[Linda on the move]

When my younger DD turned 12 last year, she wanted it on her invitations that if you had a sibling who would enjoy a jumpy castle and cake, they were VERY welcome to stay. It turned out very nice. Several kids had sibs that were slightly younger or slightly older who stayed.

[lach]

We've had parties at venues the past two years for DD. For her 2nd birthday it was at Gymboree, and for her 3rd birthday it was at a local gym's kiddie pool. After crunching the numbers, I actually found it cheaper to do a venue party. All we had to pay for was the venue, cake, and juice boxes/water bottles. If I had them at home, I would have had to spend money on decorations, a lot more food (probably would have had to provide lunch, plus plenty of snacks and drinks for the kinda-bored adults hanging around watching the toddlers run around), I probably would have booked some sort of entertainment, and games. Our yard isn't all that kid friendly, and I was afraid of rain too.

The downside is that you do pay per person, so it can get expensive to include siblings.

I do wish we had a nicer yard, because I love backyard parties too. Around here, it's mostly kids just running around while the parents mingle, and there is some sort of entertainment: a clown, a costumed character, a bouncy house, and at one party I went to a really cool storyteller! He had puppets and told a bunch of stories and was really great. For the backyard parties I think it's a good idea to have a lot of things for the kids to play with... a swingset, hula hoops, etc. If you're low, I would ask a friend if you can borrow some outdoor toys. I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem at all! And make sure you have a snack table for the adults set up in a place where the adults can congregate and mingle but still keep a general eye on their kids.

We got great goodie bag fillers at Oriental Trading Company's website. They also have decorations and paper plates and stuff like that. Very cheap and tons of themes.

Have fun!

[eepster]

Around here (NYC suburb with mostly small houses and some apartments) most people prefer to not try to host the party in their house. There are tons and tons of places to have parties. There are play places where parties are there main business, but almost anyplace that is at all kid oriented offers parties (museums, zoos, the lego store, etc.)

Occasionally people do have parties at their homes. They usually rent a bouncy house they set up in the backyard. They have all been between late march and early october, when weather is most likely to be good.

Pizza is the standard food here. It is the most universally acceptable (vegetarian, kosher, etc) child friendly food easily available. I don't think I've taken DS to a single party where the kids weren't served pizza.

Piñatas are very popular.


You're location says "NOVA" does that mean you're in northern Virginia? November in No. VA is likely to be kind of iffy weather wise. Though it is some times quite pleasant, it may be chilly and damp. There is a good chance that the party will migrate indoors, so you can't count on people staying in the backyard.