Scared to Breast Feed - Page 2

[vivica2]

breastfeeding is the absolute most amazing thing i have ever done. and that includes growing 2 babies for 9 months and giving birth twice.

it is the thing i miss most about my babies growing up.

pretty sure i keep havign kids so i can breastfeed.


with that being said. my son had a hard time at first...the first few weeks, he was soooo tiney. 5lb. 5 oz. his mout was just so tiny! but we both realized how much we wanted to do this because it just felt right!


i ho[e you will at least wait untill you have your baby in your arms ....to feel the natural urge to breastfeed your baby...all the hormones saying "i want to be as close to this baby as i can" i hope you wait for all these things to happen before you say no.

[sewingsparklz]

This thread is full of great advice, so I won't try to top it or repeat it, but I do have these two cents to add. When I think of trying to decide about breastfeeding, I just think, "Well, I make milk! Right after I have a baby! Hmmm!" Our bodies were MADE to do this! To me, making it an option, like which car to buy, is totally silly. Like, Hmmm, should I eat through my mouth or through my nose? Well, only your mouth was made for eating, so, um, well...

It seems obvious to me that it was designed this way, no?

[atnightingale]

I read "Spilled Milk: Breastfeeding Adventures and Advice from Less-Than Perfect Moms" about a week or so before DD was born from the library and found it enormously helpful emotionally. It's a collection of stories about breastfeeding from many women in many different situations and their experiences and, yes, challenges. It's not a how to, but it is fabulous for helping figure out and deal with your own feelings around breastfeeding without the pressure or, what can feel like hype.

[smeep]

I'm sure everyone has given you good advice, but I do wanted to suggest that you not read the benefits of breastfeeding but, rather, the risks of NOT breastfeeding. It hits home much better and, in my experience, mums who view it as the risks of not breastfeeding are much more determined to nurse and determination is one of the two biggest factors in success (the second I would consider to be having proper support/information).

[smeep]

I also tell a lot of my mums who aren't dead set on nursing to take it one step at a time. Tell yourself 2 weeks. When 2 weeks comes, tell yourself 6 weeks. When 6 weeks comes, tell yourself 3 months. Then 6 months. Then 9, then 12, then 18, and so on. It doesn't necessarily have to be that exact timeline, but just keep telling yourself a couple (or so) weeks longer and congratulate yourself every time you make it to that goal. It will seem a LOT easier than being in the stressful sleep-deprived 3rd week thinking, "Gah, I have to do this for a YEAR OR TWO?!" Just think, "I just have to make it another week/two/three and go from there." Small goals seem to be a lot easier.

And, seriously, don't supplement. Don't keep formula around "just in case." Don't even keep bottles around unless you have to go back to work, and even then don't get them until you plan to introduce them to baby to get him/her used to it. IF, further along, you choose to supplement for whatever reason, that's fine. But I highly recommend you don't even think about it or keep anything in the house to tempt you for the first 3 months. It's really just a recipe for disaster.

[Essie]

I commend you for reaching out here for support. I can empathize with you because I was very fearful of childbirth and nursing! I had a really hard time with it, but the lactation specialists at the hospital saved my life. I mean, I really felt so awkward and it really is something that you may need help with. They are there to help and support you and you may want to seek out that option if you are going to be delivering at a hospital.

I learned the hard way at a nb appt with the ped. I felt so horrible b/c my baby had lost weight when he should have been gaining it. I had to crack down and just get it right. I had to supplement with formula, which I had never intended on, but if I'd been nursing correctly and enough, that may not have happened.

When you get it down you will feel at peace and see how great it is and realize how amazing YOU are. It's hard to describe in words. It's very calming and a way to connect with your newborn baby!

Best to you mommy!

[PatioGardener]

you can do it and we'll be here to support you as well as your real life support!

nak

[Essie]

Originally Posted by PatioGardener

you can do it and we'll be here to support you as well as your real life support!

nak

ditto!

[Essie]

Originally Posted by atnightingale

I read "Spilled Milk: Breastfeeding Adventures and Advice from Less-Than Perfect Moms" about a week or so before DD was born from the library and found it enormously helpful emotionally. It's a collection of stories about breastfeeding from many women in many different situations and their experiences and, yes, challenges. It's not a how to, but it is fabulous for helping figure out and deal with your own feelings around breastfeeding without the pressure or, what can feel like hype.

Yes, I wanted to chime in. I had no idea there were books on the subject and I never read any, but I would chk them out. It may relieve your fears. Also, try not to think too much about it. When it happens you will just learn the instinct to do it. You'll see, if I can do it anyone can!

[kanga1622]

Can I just tell you that I was determined to breastfeed solely because it was best for my child but that the only person in either of our families that BF was my MIL. She quit right away with her first and nursed my DH until he was hospitalized at 10 months. I didn't know anyone IRL that didn't quit nursing when it became "too hard."

My best advice and support has come from this board. Nursing has been painful for me from hour 1 even though DS has been checked and has a good latch and we do not have thrush. The support from these boards has gotten me through the roughest times and even though BF isn't "absolutely wonderful" for me, it is so fulfilling to look down at DS and see the chubby thighs and milk gut that are 100% made by mama's milk. He loves to nurse.

Breastfeeding isn't always a wonderful, rosy picture but if you are committed and want to provide the best for your child, you CAN do it. Just ignore all the well meaning (or not so much) family. This may be the most natural thing in the world, but it takes dedication, patience, and training for both you and baby.

[TulsiLeaf]

it's totally natural to be nervous about things. Heck, I wasn't so nervous about the birth as I was about breastfeeding. No one in my family breastfed at all. No one. All I kept hearing from my mother was about how she had me on a wonderful schedule and gave me a "beautiful soy formula" She couldn't understand my determination to stick through it when my daughter was in the NICU.

the only thing I can say is that this is YOUR experience and your decision. Listen to your heart and go from there. You can always try breastfeeding and if it doesn't work or something happens, well you have a fall back plan. If you would really like to give it a proper go, getting yourself ready right now is a great thing. The one big mistake I did when pregnant was just thinking everything would fall into place. My birth, her breastfeeding. Well, nothing did and I wish I was prepared so that I could stand up to my wishes.

I think also what troubled me was that I only really saw 1 person breastfeed, ever. I had no reference point. I had seen tons of bottles being given, but no breastfeeding. So it is understandable that I had a weird fear of it because it wasn't "normal"

All the books everyone mentioned are great, but the suggestion of going to an LLL group is the best. That way you can SEE people nursing.

Good luck!

[juliebird]

I wasn't really that passionate about breastfeeding before I had my babies. No one really breastfed around me and no one really talked about it being super important. But for some reason, I became determined to breastfeed my kids (I don't even really remember WHY it was so long ago- my oldest is almost 16) and I have to say that not only was it the best choice for my babies, but it was by far the best choice for me emotionally. I really think breastfeeding set the stage for the truly connected and great relationship I have with my kids. I'm pregnant with my fourth now and I definitely plan on nursing again.

I had some difficult times early on with the first and the third due to thrush and at the hospital they gave my first a bottle before I even saw him after my c-section, but I stuck it out. And I'm sooooo glad I did.

I just came across this article in peaceful parenting and thought it might be a good read for you:
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/09/7-bre...l+parenting%29

also, don't be put off breastfeeding by your in-laws. I totally get that they are pressuring you and how awful that is. Try to separate the issue of breastfeeding from their domineering ways. You'll be so very glad you did.

Let me commend you too, for even broaching the subject. Many women will just write off breastfeeding if it makes them feel uncomfortable and scared. The fact that you are even willing to try to find out more about it is a testament to the kind of mother you'll be...whether you end up nursing or not. Good luck!

[mamaw/two]

I couldn't read your post and not reply, even though all the pp's have given excellent advice. Breastfeeding (I prefer the term "nursing"), can be hard in the beginning or it can be very simple. But in the long term (and I'm only talking a matter of a month or two), nursing a baby is very, very simple. You never have to worry about washing bottles, getting the temp right, running out to the store to pick up more, remembering to pack up all the stuff when you leave the house. If baby becomes hungry and begins to wail, you don't need to leave him/her crying to fix a bottle - it's right there. You are all your baby needs, the bond is incredible. As baby gets older, you can fix bumps and bruises so quickly. In toddlerhood, when the baby is mobile and tiredness and meltdowns are a daily (sometimes hourly) occurance, you have the magic milk that calms him or her down. When you add all the sicknesses your baby will likely miss, the allergies the baby will be less likely to have to endure, you just can't go wrong. Dealing with a sick, miserable baby is HARD, nursing a baby is EASY.
Also, I've tasted formula, not only does it stink really bad, it tastes horrible. When babies drink formula, their smell just like it. Nursed baby's breath smells wonderful, I can't get enough of smelling my babies breath it's so sweet. Personally, if I had to pick only one thing to eat for the next six monthes, I would want something that smells and tastes good. I'm sure any baby would want that too.

[ShanaV]

Plus, the most rewarding things in life take work. They're hard. But they're worth it. This is how I look at bfing. It's hard for some weeks or months, but what is a couple months in the grand scheme of things? Over the course of your lifetime, it is but a blink.

Nursing is a marathon, not a sprint.