going to bed drama

[bluetoes]

Since blueboy moved to his big boy bed, getting him to go to bed has been a real struggle.

Honestly I would settle for him to sit and play in his room, it's just we need peace after a long day! But mainly I worry he isn't get enough sleep.

How do you guys deal with pre-schoolers who refuse to go to bed and stay in their rooms? The requests for more milk and potty never seem to end. He can go potty by himself, but because he isn't a good eater (whole other thread!) and is quite small I don't want to turn down milk requests.

I have tried to super nanny just keep putting him back in his bed routine, but with a two story house and a bad back I will be crippled before he gives in!

Any ideas?

I will be going back to work soon so he'll need to get up earlier once that happens so he HAS to get more sleep.

[vrclay]

I would give milk in a sippy cup to keep by his bedside (maybe a little snack too) and put a little potty in his room. Maybe play music - we play stories on CD sometimes. I knew a family that gave the child 3 "cards" and he had to use one each time he called mom or dad to his room. When he was out of cards, that was it.

Maybe talk about what your expectations are for bedtime as you are doing your bedtime routine?

The other idea for using the supernany technique would be to plan to spend time waiting at his door and returning him to the bed. I'd put a chair in the hall and read a book or magazine.

Hope it gets better soon.

[ssh]

How old is your DS? Could there be a problem with his big boy bed? Was he co-sleeping before?

I don't think going to bed or not going to sleeping are discipline issues. If a child has anxiety it's not their fault they can't sleep. When DD first started sleeping in her own room, right after turning 4, she wanted a parent in there holding her hand while she fell asleep. Then we transitioned to just sitting by her bed. Within a few months she was going to sleep during stories and then completely by herself. Now when it's time to sleep DD, almost 5, can go to bed in her bed or sleep with us. She chooses to sleep in her own bed. We don't often have issues with going to bed as long as it happens about 13 to 14 hours after getting up. We also have a couple of relaxing family activities, stories or playing Big Planet, before bed and a snack. If we're running late we do at least one activity anyway.

[bluetoes]

Love the idea of the chair outside his door!

He is four and a bit and has been in his own room since he was a few months old. He is just the sort of kid who wants to play forever and when he gets tired he starts moving faster to keep himself awake! He isn't at all scared of being by himself in his room or sleeping in the dark. There is just too much to do to waste time sleeping

There are two bathrooms upstairs for him to use. So he doesn't need to come down for that.

We might also try a chart to give him a treat at the end of the week if he stays in his room.

I was just wondering if anyone had any magic solutions they tried.

[ssh]

Does he have a nightlight or sleep with toy friends? My DD sometimes tells her stuffed animals or dolls stories after she goes to bed. She also has a night light that makes a colored light pattern on the wall. The constellation night lights look really cool. Maybe if laying in bed was more interesting, but still calming, your DS might stay there. I can often hear DD talking in bed for abit before going to sleep.

[titania8]

We have to snuggle with our nearly 5yos until one or both of them are asleep or nearly asleep. They are like your son- when tired they become more active in an effort to stay awake. Maddening at times, but it's so nice too. I try and remember they will not always need or want their mom and dad snuggling with them and to savor these moments. It's a nice way to end the day.

[Learning_Mum]

Honestly, with DS1 I told him he could lie in his bed and play quietly but that if he came out then I would shut his bedroom door. I'd leave it closed for a few minutes and then ask if he was ready to try staying in his bed again and we'd start over with the door open.

[Minxie]

Originally Posted by bluetoes

Love the idea of the chair outside his door!

He is four and a bit and has been in his own room since he was a few months old. He is just the sort of kid who wants to play forever and when he gets tired he starts moving faster to keep himself awake! He isn't at all scared of being by himself in his room or sleeping in the dark. There is just too much to do to waste time sleeping

There are two bathrooms upstairs for him to use. So he doesn't need to come down for that.

We might also try a chart to give him a treat at the end of the week if he stays in his room.

I was just wondering if anyone had any magic solutions they tried.

My DS is 4.5 and this was a problem for us, too. My magic solution is <drumroll, please>:

Comic books. Well, they're not really comic books; they are first readers that mimic comic books. If interested, look for something like "Superman I Can Read" on amazon. Anyhoo, the deal is that these are only for bedtime and if he gets out of bed, the comic book has to be put away. He is allowed to read quietly to himself as long as he wants but usually crashes pretty quickly. Since starting this, we went from bedtime at 7 and sleep at 9 to bedtime at 7 and sleep by 7:30 (often earlier.)

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Books on tape (long ones like Charlotte's Web length) saved our evenings and really, really helped DC transition out of going to bed as a family to going to bed by herself. Magic!