New SAHM

[osciamella]

Alright so I'm officially a SAHM now. Well, almost. I'm still pregnant, due sometime in the next few weeks. But we decided that I'd leave work a few weeks early because the commute was really long and the 9 hour days were a bit much to handle on top of the hour drive each way. This past week I've pretty much organized the entire house, completed the nursery, did every single piece of laundry, etc. I'm kind of going stir crazy. I knew this would be a challenge at first - I've been working full time since I was 18 yrs old so waking up without a structured agenda is a little new to me. I know once LO gets here, I won't feel this way but in the meantime I guess I feel a little lost. Has anyone dealt with these feelings and what did you do to combat them? Part of me also feels as if I need to keep busy because DH works his butt off all day and I'm sitting here playing on facebook and reading forums. I talked with him about it and his response was, "Your job is to keep our daughter healthy while you're still pregnant and rest until she arrives" which was super sweet. But I guess I'm having a hard time allowing myself to just rest and relax. And when he gets home I feel like I have to explain my face off that I was working around the house and not watching tv and eating bon bons all day. And it's totally me. He does not expect anything from me at all, but somehow I still feel as if I have to make myself feel better that I wasn't just sitting around all day.

Please don't misunderstand me - I'm not complaining about the transition, I'm just looking for a better way to handle my feelings about it. When talking to friends about this they respond sarcastically with "Oh it must be so hard to sit around and do nothing" or "I'd kill to do nothing for a few weeks" which is just frustrating. Anyways, any suggestions are appreciated from anyone who has felt this way before.

[EzzysMom]

I felt that way, even after the baby was born. What did I do all day, well I nursed, changed diapers, held her, and that's almost all that got accomplished. Seriously. Its going to be a major shift when the baby is here, even if you think you aren't doing much now, it will go downhill for a while, and the hormones can compound the issue.

Alternatively if you've got the energy, make some frozen meals so you'll have some food post-baby now Pick out some books from the library for reading. Pick up a new hobby? It was a major shift for me from working to SAHM but once I got through that first year things have been better and more settled.

Friends who are working and have no kids, totally do not understand the change. I myself asked friends 'so what do you do all day?' not in a mean way, but from geniune curiosity. It's very different from having the personal satisfaction of accomplishing things in a job. I recommend talking to other moms as they have been there

[cakemama579]

Making the transition from working woman to SAHM can be really challenging. I stopped working about 2 weeks before my son was born (I was a cook, and the hours of being on my feet really started to get to me), and it wasn't until he was about a year old that I really stopped feeling guilty about not going to work every day. Now DS is 2.5, and I have just gone back to school full time and he is in his own preschool program, and I miss being home with him and being on our own schedule dearly.

This is one time in your life where you have complete permission to take it easy-- live it up! Relish in having the time to work on hobbies, or read, or sleep. Whatever you want to do. I know it is hard, and you might feel guilty about it, and you just want to meet that baby already. But believe me, this time is fleeting.

Here's some suggestions to fill the time. If you're crafty, make homemade christmas (or hannukah) presents for people.. or, do all that shopping now so you don't have to worry about it when you are busy figuring out how to be a mom. Write. Sleep. (did I already suggest that?). Cook big, elaborate meals. Go for walks. Go get coffee with girlfriends. This may be difficult if most or all of your girlfriends work, but if you have other SAHM friends, now is a great time to pop in for a visit!

Above all, be real with yourself and your emotions-- when you have worked your whole life and been self-sustaining your whole life, it isn't easy to just turn it off. But you are still working, remember that. Your position may have changed, but being a mama is a lot of work (even if it doesn't seem like it because it also happens to be so much fun!).

Good luck with the LO!

[suddenlyamama]

Hi there,
I am a new SAHM too. I don't want to be a debbie downer here, but I do wish someone would have prepared me for how hard the transition of taking care of little one all day was going to be. More often than not I find myself wondering, Oh my gosh is this my life now? My 9 week old is a high needs baby so I know that compounds things.
However, I still wish I would have done some mental prep work (like read some good books, made myself food in advance, scheduled people to come and cook, house work, hold baby while I sleep etc)
Learning to take care of baby and ME is a continual challenge.

Anyways, good luck with the birth of your LO and best of luck with the transition.

[Harmony08]

I'll go ahead and suggest that you live it up these next couple weeks. Do all the things you love...bake..cook..paint..cuddle with DH..go to movies...watch entire movies at home at on go... Because your life is about to get better but a lot harder.

It is really hard to adjust to SAH. I think it is kinda like a paradigm shift. You have to change the way you think about everything. You need new ideas about productivity and busy and important and lazy and all of it. It sounds like your DH is right on target about what it really important. Be good to yourself...you are doing something important...you'll get yours, don't worry. Go ahead and surf the web.