Queer Conceptions - October - Page 9

[rubygirl36]

painefaria ~ we're in pa! is that where you are? we'll just be living in pittsburgh for another 3 months, but we've been living here for years. it's great to know that there's a place here that will help us.

[2ezforyou]

You girls are the B-E-S-T! Thanks for all the wonderful cyber-hugs, kind words, and thoughts. It's been a yucky week!

There was a bit of "good" news today that I am (cautiously) happy to report. I got online first thing this morning to google the doctor in Nashville that my doctor referred me to on Wednesday when she delivered the dreaded news. After a quick glance at the google results, I quickly saw that he practices at the Nash Fertility Clinic, which I immediately knew - DEAD END. (They're known to only treat married couples. I've had several same sex friends get turned away and I, myself, have called in years past to ask if they'd treat same-sex couples.) After realizing where he was, I closed my computer and took DS to school. While driving home, I had a moment of 'what if.' When I arrived back home, I called and explained that I had a referring doctor, some allowances for fertility insurance, my situation, and lastly, a comment about being that I was same-sex. The nurse was wonderful! She said that with my doctors referral, they'd do a consult with us!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!?! WAS SHE KIDDING ME??? Anyway, my insides were sccccreaming at the possible thought, but I played it cool. She made me fill out about 38K forms via the web, and said she'd call on Monday to schedule a time for the week of Oct. 25. I am still not getting my hopes up too much, but it's a start.

[Miss Scarlett]

2EZ--SOO glad you got a little tidbit of good news to hold on to. We are pulling for you, all of us.

Library- *clink* to our imaginary glasses of wine.

Escher--Hoping you get some clarity as to how to proceed with this cycle. From past folks on here, sometimes it's when they are at their lowest that magic happens.... just sayin.

Kgulbransen-- I have toyed with the Metformin idea too, I've had some high ish number in the past but everything is normal now, I've debated on going that route. Keep us posted.

Taylor--Ugh. I. Cannot. Imagine. What state are you in again. I have some friends that did a second parent adoption in Oklahoma, but I know every state is hugely different. How stressful that aspect must be. s

AFM-- CD 2 WOOT, start the clomid tomorrow. I got braces today. yes. as an adult. I had a total "oh my gosh what have I done" moment when I saw them in the mirror. My *first* thought was "oh my gosh Im gonna have to photoshop them out of pictures if I finally get pregnant". <-- Stupid. I've also had the nastiest cold this week. I couldnt even temp the last few days because I could not breathe out of my nose AT ALL.

Anyway, some of you asked about our donor selection points. We are only considering open donors, and even though DP is hispanic, she is really specific about wanting a fair haired, light eyed, scandinavian type donor. We would like tallish (im 6') and smart of course. I'm big into sports, so I tend to lean towards the obviously athletic ones. I am weak in math & science, but strong in the arts, so we hope to find someone that balances that out. I'm always interested to see how they answer the "why do you want to be a sperm donor" question too. I hope we end up with a sweet, smart, sensitive, handsome guy. *me and every straight girl in America*

[gellybeangrl]

MaxK~ Could I be moved to waiting to "O".Thanks!!!

Welcome to all the new folks...Eventhough I have been MIA, I've been reading, but I haven't had much good news to post so I have been keeping it to myself.

In the last month and a half we have gone through negotiations with 2 KD's and they both have backed out. We have a possible KD hanging in the wind and we should know something by next week. It has been totally frustrating and discouraging, but we are moving forward.

I took Femara CDs4-8. I have felt some slight twinges, but nothing much more than that. If the KD doesn't come through this month I guess we will use one vial of frozen...or maybe I will just have to wait until next month. I HATE having to sit out.

[painefaria]

Originally Posted by rubygirl36

painefaria ~ we're in pa! is that where you are? we'll just be living in pittsburgh for another 3 months, but we've been living here for years. it's great to know that there's a place here that will help us.

We are in Lancaster PA. Equality Advocates is in Philadelphia but they would be able to find you a lawyer if you call them. They were awesome. Even if you don't qualify for the pro-bono services they will assist you as needed.

[prettyisa]

Taylor--good luck with all of that! It's bad enough negotiating immigration stuff for two people, I hope that adding kids in makes it easier instead of harder (somehow). One thing that occurs to me (and might not be feasible or acceptable or even work, but maybe is worth looking into) is that if your partner carried the child and it was born on US soil, the process might work easier. But of course that only works if that's something you'd want to do--in my case it would be a no-go.
At any rate, welcome! I'm pretty new here myself!

One of the books that I found strangely helpful was written for guys whose female partners were going through fertility issues. It's called How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup. Once you get over some of the heteronormative stuff (and the parts about guys being too dumb to understand any of this) he does a really nice overview of fertility options and what they involve. It helped me understand a lot of the things people talk about on the boards.

[Mizyellow]

Hey lady, just a quick update.CD 28 and I think I am out. I took a FRER this morning and it was stark white. My period is still a no show but I feel the cramps stirring in my belly. I am super bummed, I am sure I will start in a few hours. Next month will be the month for sure! Any tips for a fumbling TTCer?I am hoping for good news from everyone soon!

[AmandaHope]

MizYellow Crap! I'm sorry. I know exactly where you are at. I was there just a few weeks ago, and those crampy stirrings are the WORST feeling. I hope you get a chance to process the loss of the cycle and that you take good care of yourself today. s

[Mizyellow]

Amanda- Thanks, AF sure did show her ugly face literally ten min after posting this morning. Chels, Lennon and I had an amazing day though. We appreciated our time as a family of 3 today and are hoping to add to that this month! Now it is high time for a nice glass of wine that only non-preggo women get to enjoy!

[LibraryLady]

Krista~ I'm so sorry for your bfn. After three fresh insems that must have been extra tough. I hope you're feeling better today, at least a bit. Biggest hugs xox

2ez~ WOW!!!!!!! That is wonderful about the clinic! It's nice when people in the less-kind areas of the country are willing to help us. It's like the Underground Railroad. Keep us posted!

Scarlett~ How fun about the braces! I know lots of grown ups who have them now, I'm glad you're doing something for yourself. I know you'll be pregnant soon, so let the photoshopping commence! I like your donor criteria. It was fun, shopping for exactly what we want. We're so much luckier than the straight girls. We get to be completely selective, and then we don't have to clean up after them.

Gelly~ Ugh. How frustrating. I hope you have better luck in the future. Glad you dropped in to share it with us. xox

Miz Yellow~ Ugh. So very sorry. You seem to be keeping a positive attitude, though. so I hope you enjoyed your glass of wine. Big hugs!

AmandaH~ How you doing? Totally symptomatic, right?

AFM~ Nothing much. Went to visit my grandmother, dad, family, etc. Dad lives out of state, so I don't see him often. Very good~ even got to enjoy my cousins' babies. I found it much easier to appreciate them with one of my own on the way. Short week at school this week, thank god.

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

Library: Good to know that babies get easier to appreciate once you are pregnant. I used to totally adore other people's babies, and while I still like them, I'm hoping I'll love them again once I'm not in the midst of TTC.

Mizyellow: I'm sorry. Stupid AF.

AmandaHope: How are you doing?

Prettyisa: Thanks for the book recommendation! What a funny title.

Gelly: I'm glad you're now waiting to O! I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time finding the right KD. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the current possible one works out!

Scarlett: Your blog post about not buying clothes because you were convinced you were about to be pregnant made me laugh, because that is totally where I am right now. You can be my role model in giving in and getting clothes. Braces are a total pain (but worth it!). I hope yours aren't hurting too much.

2ezforyou: Hooray for possible good doctor news! How exciting!

AFM: No news. Still pre-O, but I'm pretty sure that we're going to sit this cycle out. I just feel like my body needs a month off. But I'm looking forward to trying again next cycle!

[prettyisa]

Miz Yellow—Arg! I’m sorry this wasn’t it! But wine does go a long way towards making things better…

Scarlett—A work friend of mine is pregnant and has braces. And my best friend’s mom had braces when she was pregnant, too—coincidence?

AFM--it's CD1! Can I please be moved to Waiting to O?

[maxK]

Taylorgirl6- I had a KD for a while, we just went through a local sperm bank and there was a lot of paperwork to sign. I’m sure if you were doing it on your own without a sperm bank you would want to check the laws in your state. Most say the sperm should pass to the hands of a Dr or nurse before going in to the woman for the sperm not to be considered legally the male’s sperm. I think each state is a little different though.

2ez- Keeping my fingers crossed for you and the entire world that people are changing and becoming more tolerant.

Krista- Glad to hear the progesterone is working for you.

Mizyellow- so sorry about AF

MissScarlett and Escher- I have been refusing the buy new clothes as well, I did break down to buy a few stretchy skirts. Yesterday I bought myself some new pj’s as a consolation.

PrettyIsa- I moved you. Congratulations on the beginning of your new cycle. I hope to join you soon!

AFM- I had a great guided imagery session on Friday, we really visualized how fertile and accepting my body is to the IVF treatment and getting pregnant. I felt calm and peaceful for the rest of the day. It’s really affecting my whole week and I can’t wait to go back. I’m pricing my injectable meds out right now through two different pharmacies. I should be ordering them soon.

QOTD- I actually only really got into the Brill book, and read it multiple times, have highlighted and bookmarked many areas. I have skimmed The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-conception through Birth, 2nd Edition by Rachel Pepper. I've read a lot of websites about home IUI's because that is what we were doing.

[Miss Scarlett]

Mawnin yall

Library-- We joke that in the beginning we were SOOOO picky. Like, "oh, his first cousin had acne, nope, sorry dude", or "his mom was big boned, that's not gonna work for me", and then once we were past the one year mark, and out of donor numero uno, we were still picky about the things that we both really wanted, like height, and that we really wanted fair hair and light eyes, etc. NOW I'm like, "well, he's asian, and about 4'11'', and evidently there is a lot of schizophrenia in the family, but LOOK AT THAT GPA! LOL.

Max & Escher--Seriously, EVERY time I would be in the dressing room with something cutey, I'd be like, well, I'll be pregnant in the next two months, and this will CERTAINLY not fit, so I might as well wait. Two. Years. Later. I had no clothes. THEN I went out and spent a ridiculous amount of money on this FABULOUS pair of Rock & Republic jeans and thought FOR SURE Murphy's law was about to slap me in the face with like triplets or something to make sure I *never* squeezed myself into those jeans again... Not. So. Much. The only thing I still haven't purchased that I reeeeallly need? Bras. (and thanks for reading Escher )

PrettyIsa--Ill TAKE some of that braces/pregnancy juju! Wonderful!

AFM-- CD 6 *yawn* nothing much going on here. I'm on day 4 of my clomid, and so on and so on. I went ahead and scheduled my CD 12 u/s (11 fell on a Sunday) and the sperm is purchased and ready. I also scheduled an acupuncture appointment for that week. I was thinking back on what could have gone wrong last cycle, and I wonder if I was about to ovulate anyway when we triggered, and then since we waited until 24/36 hours post trigger, maybe I had already ovulated? (If you remember, my cervix was already super closed when we went in to insem) SO I'm very excited that we found a donor that had some ICI vials available, as we seem to have better luck with them, AND I'm thinking since I get to do a three vial insem, I may go ahead and insem the night of the trigger, then 24 hours out, then 36 hours out. What do yall think? **note: for some reason I never get a + OPK on Clomid months, so I'm going strictly by temp & u/s & past patterns**

Also, something I'm doing different this month that I haven't done before, I'm still drinking my one small (not giant I promise) cup of coffee in the morning, as it is my favorite moment of the day, and I had a cocktail last night. Normally I COMPLETELY cut out all alcohol & caffeine for the cycles we are trying, but I'm not this time. So. There. Universe.

Happy Tuesday Friends

[AmandaHope]

Hi, everyone.

MissScarlett I'm definitely feeling less picky about donors these days, too. I used to feel incredibly strongly about having a known donor, and now I just don't. As for your three-vial plan, I think it sounds great. That timing should really cover your bases. And enjoy your coffee and a drink or two. I've had some cycles like that, and others where I just want to cut out everything. You do what you gotta do, for sure.

As for clothes, I haven't been buying much, but when I have gone shopping, I'm making sure to size up a bit and to focus on looser, comfortable clothing, rather than more fashionable items. I wish you'd never had a chance to wear your awesome jeans, but since you have, I hope you're enjoying them while you can!

Max I've bought comfy pjs, too. I hope yours are comforting and cozy. Your guided imagery session sounds WONDERFUL--really. You even got me thinking of doing that myself. There is someone who advertises at the local yoga studio who does it.

PrettyIsa How are the braces? Do they hurt?

AFM Nothing much to report at 6dpo. I was super cranky this morning--just felt like everything and everyone was out to make it as difficult as possible for me to do what needed to get done. I should probably apologize to DP and DD tonight. But once I got some exercise, I felt a lot better. My progesterone check yesterday was good--same as last month, which made me a bit pessimistic, though I know that progesterone isn't a reliable indicator of pregnancy. I go in for the hcg blood test on Monday...so under a week to go!

[LibraryLady]

Scarlett~ You're cracking me up!!!!! I love your 'donor criteria de-evolution', it had me laughing in the library. And your 'FU' to the universe with your cocktails and coffee slays me too. Good for you! I didn't give up coffee until that pink line showed up, and I've taken to having a sip of Pennie's in the morning when my head just won't clear. No alcohol, though. I am contemplating half a glass of red wine on Thanksgiving, but I'll bet when it comes down to it, I won't. I like your new attitude. Everything is crossed for you. You deserve success.

AmandaH~ You deserve success to you too!! 6dpo is such a nowhere place, but pretty soon you'll be able to start legit symptom searching.

Max~ Your guided imagery session sounds really interesting! I've never thought about that, nor ever experienced any. It sounds very relaxing too, and hopefully useful.

AFM~ Nothing here. I think I've officially sized out of many of the skirts I wear to school. They'll still zip/button, but if I try to lean forward~ ouch! I'm not ready for the jumbo clothing yet, though, so it's a bit of a difficult area. We shall see.

[justrose13]

Originally Posted by AmandaHope

My progesterone check yesterday was good--same as last month, which made me a bit pessimistic, though I know that progesterone isn't a reliable indicator of pregnancy. I go in for the hcg blood test on Monday...so under a week to go!

FWIW, my P4 was lower the month i got pg (and stayed pg) than all of the other cycles it was checked. i've got my fingers (and everything else) firmly crossed for you... i can't wait for monday, i'm hoping for some incredible news!!

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

Library: I love that you are still hanging around with us here. I predict that next April the folks from Q&P are going to have to start stalking QC because this is where you are going to post your birth announcement.

AmandaHope: I have everything double crossed that you are going to get good news very soon. Are you planning to test yourself this month or just wait for the beta?

Scarlett: I need bras too, and I am just putting it off endlessly. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. You sound like you're all ready for this cycle! Your timing sounds good to me. Does CM or looking at/feeling your cervix give you any info? I'm glad you're keeping yourself happy with coffee. That sounds like a very sane choice.

Max: I'm so glad that you're feeling all ready for your ivf. I'm looking forward to your veggie parade.

Prettyisa: Hooray for waiting to O!

AFM: If I ever actually have a baby, I want this onesie.

[justrose13]

Originally Posted by escher12

AFM: If I ever actually have a baby, I want this onesie.

i love that onesie!! i really hope you get to buy that very, very soon!

[maxK]

MissScarlett- My friend advised me not to be too hard on myself and let me know it was ok to drink a glass of wine now and then. It really does help relieve some of the tension when TTC. Let this be the cycle!

AmandaHope- s for your crankiness. I hope you keep getting positive signs from your tests. Let this be the cycle! So amazing you and MissScarlett are both on the same cycle day!

Escher- Wah! I can’t see the onsie picture. What browser are you using? I use Firefox, I wonder if that’s the problem.

AFM- I was spotting today, that means AF is close. I feel like a little kid awaiting x-mas morning. I found out that Walgreens Online talked to my insurance and apparently they pre-authorized my medications. It’s totally crazy. My insurance is not supposed to cover infertility treatment but so far they say I only have to pay $280. My bill was supposed to be $3000-4000. So I’m taking it! I’m exciting and looking forward to my shots and my next guided imagery/massage day.