Queer Conceptions - October - Page 2

[rubygirl36]

massage info

i hope you don't mind, prettyisa, that i'm posting most of my email to you here. it beats thinking it out again.

here's the massage info for anyone who wants it. i can't say that it's worked for my fertility (yet), but i've heard too many accounts of this working wonders for other women.

also, if you go get the massage done once (the place i went to charged $140, but i was there for 3 hours), the therapist will teach you how to do it yourself. so you never have to go back for this particular massage.

the article that's linked mentions the upper torso massage, but that's not important for fertility. enjoy!

i first heard about the massage in an ethnography that i read called "birth in four cultures." the massage is very simple and gentle. if you don't do it gently, well, it's sort of like giving a rough massage to your liver. ha!

i just now found this great article/instruction about arvigo!
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/m.../ai_n15394264/

it says to press your fingers as deeply as it is comfortable, but my therapist suggested to be as gentle as you can. it also depends on your body type. i can feel my hipbones and pubic bone fairly well, but you'd want to press a bit more if you're a curvier girl.

you do the massage from the right, the left, and then from your pubic bone. most women have an off-center uterus. mine leaned to the right and is too low, but getting better. basically, when i press down right above my pubic bone, it feels like a water balloon; no hollow space. if you think about all the tendons that are keeping your uterus in place, some can get more overstretched than others.

my therapist always does three strokes each away. she likes the number three. just look for a hollow space where you can sink in and go from there. i'm sure you'll figure it out with your schooling.

take time off from the massage during your period and around the time of ttc. during these times, you can do light, nurturing strokes. it's a good way to connect with your body.

[Mizyellow]

Max- I am 27, so I guess that makes me younger ( I hope I still qualify) I gotta tell you I hate the feeling post insemination. It is gross!!!! Crossing my fingers that it isn't in vain!

Ruby- Good luck to you!!You say you O'd yesterday? We are in the same 2ww! I am an obsessive tester, I can't wait to start POAS! I am interested to hear about your homebirth plan. I don't think I could do it.

[Coco99]

For those of you who knew him and arent following the Q&P thread, FTMPapa is in labor and his babygirl should be born today !!

[rubygirl36]

yay! forum baby soon!!! that is so exciting! **sending all the luck to him**

yellow ~ i have to be very strict with myself about testing. i ttc'd a couple of years ago on my own, and i got really obsessive. depressed, cried at every period, just did not give a flying flip about myself. so this time, with my partner, is going to be much more relaxed, especially since it's our first month trying. that said, i am excited about being in the tww!

just noticed that i'm on the tww twice.

as for first insem lessons, here's mine. if you are using a known donor that you both aren't great friends with, don't have him stay at your place for a week. we are so grateful for the gift he's given us, but we are so ready to be alone and have a quiet place again.

[prettyisa]

Ruby--not a problem at all! I'll write back to you tomorrow, but I'm definitely going to try the massage.

Max and Escher--thanks for the calming advice--I'm trying to follow it.

I refilled my printer ink today (also for the very first time) and was joking with my DP that it was like a trial run for at-home insems if we ever decide to do any. There were catheters and syringes and plastic gloves and fluids that I did NOT want to spill anywhere. Between that and a successful babysitting gig things are feeling less tense!

[Mizyellow]

So today my temps dipped back down to 96.4, this temping thing is so confusing! So maybe I didn't ovulate after all?

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

I hope you're all having a good weekend!

Mizyellow: With your new temp today, it doesn't sound like a clear ovulation pattern. Is this your first cycle temping? It definitely can feel confusing at first! Are you taking your temps at the same time every day? Are you going to bed at around the same time every night? Is your room about the same temperature every night? For me, temping is most useful when I use it along with opks, how my cervix feels, cervical mucus, etc. It's possible that adding more ways you collect data will make things seem clearer. Good luck!

Prettyisa: I'm glad that things are feeling less tense. I can't remember--are you planning to insem next cycle?

Rubygirl: I can imagine that was a lot of time with your KD! If you end up doing more cycles, is there another place he can stay? If not, I guess you'll get to know him much better! Thanks for sharing the massage info--that looks like an interesting thing to try! I had been thinking about arvigo massage, but the practitioner I know of around here charges $350 per session, which seems like a lot to me. So I'm glad to have some part I can try on my own!

Coco: Pretty exciting about Papa! I'm definitely stalking Q&P today! He is one of the success stories that I think about most when I get cranky about this process taking a while. I'm so excited he finally has his baby!

Max: Yikes about the acupuncture causing spotting! That's no good at all. I hope that massage or visualization work much better for you. Have you decided definitely to take this cycle off or are you still thinking about it?

Indigo: Impressive that you've lost so much weight this year! Have you noticed if it does give you more energy? Are you guys thinking that this next one will be your last babe, or are you planning for more?

Carmen: What did your KD say?

Krista: I don't know anything about pcos or metformin, but I hope that someone on here does!

AFM: 9dpo. My temps look fine but not amazing. The last time I was pregnant I was taking prometrium, so I don't know what a pregnant cycle without prometrium would look like. I'm still feeling hopeful. I'm grateful that I've done enough cycles now that I know that it is ok for me to let myself be hopeful, and that if it doesn't work out I'll be sad for a few days but then I'll be able to move on. I'll probably start testing tomorrow or the next day.

[carmen358]

Had a great brunch with KD. I feel like a big weight is off my chest. It sounds like we're going to go ahead next year (there, I said it out loud lol). I think he just wanted to check in and have his feelings validated in terms of how he feels now that DD is actually here. It is harder than he thought to be so distant but made it very clear his intentions have not changed in terms of not wanting to parent. So, I told him to think a bit more about it on his own now that we talked and he said he would. So, I think he would say yes today if I pressed him to actually commit now but I don't want to pressure him. Unless something completely new and unexpected comes up I'll carefully say we're going ahead!

I'm getting mildly excited at the prospect of TTC again!!! I actually loved temping and watching my chart lol

[indigoscot]

yay carmen, that's great news! i'm so glad you've decided to give that gorgeous wee girl of yours a sibling. every day i am so amazed at how much ds1 and ds2 love each other and how they are starting to "play" with toys together. we are excited to add another child to the mix - dp and i are both one of three (i'm the oldest, she's the youngest). yay again!

g

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by indigoscot

yay carmen, that's great news! i'm so glad you've decided to give that gorgeous wee girl of yours a sibling. every day i am so amazed at how much ds1 and ds2 love each other and how they are starting to "play" with toys together. we are excited to add another child to the mix - dp and i are both one of three (i'm the oldest, she's the youngest). yay again!

g

Yay, I love hearing that. We SO want her to have a sibling...it's very important to us. 3 will be very fun

[starling&diesel]

Hi Carmen and Indigo ... Good to see you guys here!
I think it's time to come back over to this board . . .
We've been humming and hawing over whether or not to try for a second child (finances, logistics, intent), but we came to a decision tonight (after nearly two years of talks) that we're going to go for it!
We have four more embryos and will be going that route again, so Max, can you add us to Working on IVF, please and thanks?
There.
It's out there.
Wow.
Good to see some familiar folks here! And hello to all the folks who I don't know yet!
I'm 35 and my DP is 39. We have a daughter who is 20 months old and super bright and lots of fun. I'm a paramedic and writer, DP is a chef. Some of you from way back when know our story. But here it is again in the short form.
I can't have children, my uber Butch Genderqueer partner isn't interested in being pregnant.
Two dyke friends of ours did this: they harvested eggs from one woman, used anonymous sperm donor to fertilize, transfered the embryos two at a time into the other woman, twice, resulting in two singleton pregnancies and thus, two awesome little braniac girls who are now 3 and 5.
They gave us the remaining 6 fertilized 3-day old embryos, which is wildly generous and totally miraculous! We transferred two into my womb, and had a singleton pregnancy resulting in our spectacular little girl, who is the best thing to happen to the world in general.
Phew.
That's the short version.
So, here we are again! I think we'll aim to try in December at the earliest, with an eye towards May (I'm still trying for a Pisces!!! E was supposed to be, but came early).

[indigoscot]

starling&diesel - yay!!! and welcome back! what exciting news!

g

[LibraryLady]

Whew! I'm gone for the weekend and so much happens!!

I'm excited for FTM papa and will have to go and post on the Q&P board to say so.

Nice to see all the new names and hopefully new babies on the way soon. How many do we have in the wait now?

MizYellow~ How confusing! Temping and catching the egg can be such a frustration. Good luck to you, and don't give up.

Starling&D~ The man who 'invented' IVF won the Nobel Prize today. I'm certain this is a good omen for everyone who's about to try it, first time or no. Good luck!!

Ruby~ Glad you've got your house back! I hope all the ignunce was worth it. Can I ask a question, which might be inappropriate, so feel free to ignore if you feel uncomfortable. With a KD there in your own house, how do you handle the, um, harvesting of the seed? Where does he go? Where do you go? Do you just play music really loud? Did he bring a magazine or something? Like I said, sorry if I'm out of line, I just have to say I've wondered.

Carmen~ Best of luck to you. I'll agree, there's something fascinating about watching a chart unfold over a cycle.

If I've missed people, apologies~ I'll catch up soon I'm sure.

AFM~ Nothin'. I'm 12 weeks now, and ready to show or to feel something. ANYTHING that makes me really feel pregnant, because now I just feel like I always do. Ho-hum...

[rubygirl36]

library ~ haha! don't feel bad for asking. we have a one-bedroom apartment, so there was a lot of weirdness that we just had to joke about. he watched youtube videos on our computer in the living room (was *not* allowed to go on actual sites) while we hung out in the bedroom, watching hulu. he would knock on the door and give us the stuff, then go on a walk until we called to tell him it was safe to come back. it worked out three times, so i guess it wasn't bad.


unfortunately, we've decided not to use him again, if i'm not pregnant this first time. we are not sure who was at our house, but it wasn't the guy that my partner once knew and has been talking to on the phone. maybe he was just trying to hard to impress us? i don't know. but our personalities did not mesh at all. it's hard to describe without sounding like we're being picky.
but the main thing was the way he ate. he apparently loves processed, unhealthy foods and he was this.close to eating us out of house and home. he didn't have one glass of water the whole time, but plenty of pepsi. he told us that he gave up caffeine! basically everything added up to us saying, "what did we get ourselves into, and who was that guy?"

of course, if i did get pregnant, we will both be ecstatic. but, if not, we'll try another route. not sure what that will be yet.

sorry to not reply to anyone yet.

[carmen358]

Welcome back, starling&diesel!! Very exciting

[LibraryLady]

Ruby~ Thanks for the info. That does sound like a weird situation, but with some humor could be handled well. I'm sorry about his strange personality change, but it is good to know these things too. And yeah, dude, Pepsi's got plenty of caffeine, amongst other things!! I know one other couple that used a kd, but he'd stay in his own house, my friend would come to him, and he'd hand the jar out the door and she'd drive back home the few blocks, holding the jar between her legs to keep it warm. The things we go through, eh?

[2ezforyou]

Hi everyone! I have a quick question. Did taking clomid change anyone else's cycle? I only did two months on clomid, but my cycle this month has been CRAZY. Clomid is the only thing that's been altered to my body. My PMS this month was out of control!!! I usually have no PMS. My moods were crazy, my flow was heavy the first day only, and my cramps were terrible for two days. I usually have a 5 day cycle, with four being torture. This month, I only had a 3 day cycle. I am just a bit worried, and wanted to check with any of you before I called my doctor. (Sorry for the TMI.)

I just started 5mg of femara today, and will continue through cd9!

Thanks ladies.

[escher]

Hi Everyone! Is it as rainy where you are as it is around here? I hope not!

2ezforyou: I know nothing about clomid, but I hope someone can give you some advice! That doesn't sound like a fun side effect at all!

Ruby: I'm sorry that you had to deal with such a challenging KD situation. I hope that you're able to find a better option if you need to do another cycle. But hopefully you won't even need another cycle!

Library: Congratulations on making it to 12 weeks! How exciting!

Starling&diesel: Welcome back! How exciting that you'll be going for #2!

Carmen: Hooray for good KD news! I'm so glad that feels like a good possibility.

Krista and Alison and Mizyellow: How is the TWW treating you so far?

It feels like we have a lot of people who either joined or rejoined this thread in the last few weeks. Does someone want to propose some kind of getting to know you QOTD?

AFM: 10dpo. Bfn this morning, but (because I am ridiculously hopeful?) I have not yet lost hope. I'll test again tomorrow (if not before), and I hope for a more interesting result then!

[Miss Scarlett]

Hi to all the new faces! Welcome & Welcome back! I think you'll find yourselves right at home.

2ez-- We are *totally* on the same page as far as slightly difficult DPs. It just makes it all that much harder, hoping to have some GOOD news to share soon as opposed to "well, we're not pregnant, again....we wasted another $2000, again...". Clomid makes my cycle a wreck. I never get a +OPK, and I have super nutso symptoms during the 2week wait. (most likely because I release lots of eggs and have super high progesterone as a result)

Library-- Just. Say. No. To. Barbie. That is interesting about the husband's view of TTC, I wonder how it compares to a female DP? That would be a fascinating study....

Carmen-- How EXCITING!! I sure hope you TTC goes super quickly! How old is your little one now?

Escher--Woot! CD 10 I always think day 10 is a great day for testing because if it's negative you can still justify being positive!! Fingers crossed for sure! That is about the time I start wishing my 2ww would go slow (as opposed to all the days before when it feels like it crawls) so that I can be pretend pregnant a little longer

PrettyIsa--- OMG I HATE dealing with printers/ink etc. At least you got some practice lol. Fingers crossed.

AFM-- Y'ALL! I have good news. Amazing news actually. I got a text message this morning from a friend that I met on Twitter. We have never met in person, but tweet regularly and follow each other's blogs. She has a two year old, and is 20 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. She knows our whole situation, and has been super supportive of the whole process. The last week has been the hardest time of my whole 2 year TTC experience, and I have been super frustrated. I was thinking we weren't even going to be able to try this month due to the fact that we really can't afford three more vials right now. (long story) ANYWAY, she offered me her husband as a KD this morning. They discussed it last night, he thought it was a great idea, she wrote me this morning. FREE FRESH SPERM YOU GUYS!!!!!!

Honestly, a year ago I wouldnt have even considered it, but now I'm all over it like white on rice. Best part? He has all of the characteristic we were looking for with the cryobank donors, AND is open to meeting the kiddo in the future. Also, Im in TX and they are in NC, which I think is perfect as far as distance goes. I. Am. So. Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DP, who was ready to send me to a bar for a one night stand, was a little unsure at first, but is getting excited I think. I just can't believe the selflessness of both of them. Isn't that the best story ever??

SO now, for any of you using KD, I have tons of questions. Legal question, logistic questions, etc. Halp!

[kgulbransen]

Escher: oh, it ain't over yet babe! My sister tested 100 times on DPO14 and DPO15 of her current pregnancy and didn't get anything until she went for blood test and then when she went for blood they said, oh your numbers are low you might miscarry. But 3 days later her numbers had gone up by 7 times over and she's into her pregnancy.

Miz Scarlett: WHOOP DEE DOO!!! I totally know how you feel. When we found our fresh sperm donor last month I finally started to feel some real hope. Like I had a good chance. We had to pull it all together really fast but I'm just feeling so much more hopeful this TWW because I feel like I have a fighting chance having done 3 insems with fresh. I'm so happy for you. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it works out in time. Are you doing tests? How are you going to prepare? Will you be getting some legal documents in place?

Miz Yellow: Charting and predicting in ovulation is such an art! We seriously should all have a PhD in it by now...Hang in there. I know you're questioning your timing but it does take a few cycles to get the hang of it unfortunately. That's why they recommend starting the charting process many months beforehand. I will recommend that you try to work on the OPKs. The more signs you have, the more you can figure out what lines up which will help you determine O. I stayed away from them for a few cycles because my two lines never quite me but then I did some research and found that ClearBlue Easy (digital or not digital) are the best brand on the market. So one cycle, I did that brand plus a brand I got online and it because so much more clear to me. The Clearblue Easy ones worked a lot better and now that's what I use. Also, the lines don't have to be equal in darkness. You need to make sure to test once in the morning and once in the evening within a 12 hour period. It's especially helpful if you save them and line them all up. You can see how they get progressively darker as you approach what you thought was O. Again, another reason to start this stuff earlier in the process rather than later.

2ez4you: I don't have experience with Clomid as I went straight to Femara but Femara kind of did that with me the first cycle. Unfortunately, no one person is the same so it's hard to know but I wouldn't be surprised if it changes your cycle as you're giving it something it's not used to and trying to screw with it so it's probably going to screw with you back!

AFM: 3DPO. I ovulated yet again 60 hours after a trigger shot. I seriously think I'm going to give up on those. They mean nothing for me and no doctor believes me that I'm ovulating 60 hours after although it is possible. All that means thatour last at home insem was about 36 hours before ovulation but I still remain positive as my KD has some kick a** sperm counts and motility. And he's gotten 11 women pregnant already. I'm doing the progesterone daily and still debating whether I start Metformin. My sugar levels came back and they are still pre-diabetic but I show no other signs of PCOS so I don't know if it's affecting my ability to get preggers or not. AARRRRRGGGGH!