Weird PP fear- (TMI) Advice, help?- long

[Monarchgrrl]

This might seem strange, but one of the only fears I have about my upcoming birth (my first) is the PP lochia stage. The reason I fear this is because I have a real issue with menstrual pads or anything of the sort. I have used tampons since my second period at 11 years old. My very first month bleeding I used pads and ended up staying home from school at least one day because I just couldn't take it. It was messy and I felt like I was wearing a diaper. I made my mom show me/teach me how to use a tampon before my second period and I never looked back. I'm also used to light periods that last only 4 days. I've tried pads since then and even Luna pads or mama cloth, even as recently as a year ago. I just can't do it. I lasted about 2 hours. I can't go anywhere. I HATE the feeling of being wet and messy down there and just sitting in my blood while it pools and leaks and...ugh. I know I'll have to get over that after having a baby, but my many questions (bear with me please) are...

How long does it usually last? 4-6 weeks? When would I be able to start wearing a tampon? If I can't wear a tampon for months or something, how will I go anywhere out of the house in that time? Can I use a tampon part time, just out of the house? Does it cause problems with healing? I'm not exaggerating. I will not be able to leave the house while using a pad. Would an Instead cup or sea sponge work or be ok postpartum? My DW suggested Depends. Not sure I could do that, either, but maybe, though still not going anywhere, just around the house.

Also, if it's just around the house, how do you get clean? I could see taking showers but my DW literally has to take a shower every time she goes pee because her periods are so heavy (she has to wear Depends) and that's the only way she can clean herself. There's no WAY I'm taking a shower after every pee when I have a newborn. So, what do you do? Just wipe yourself? Do you wipe and wipe until you're blood free? If not, do you just sit in your blood all day? Doesn't it make your hair icky? I'm just so confused about what women do and I have no one to ask because DW's periods are not normal and I've never had to deal with not using tampons.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Has anyone else dealt with this issue? Sorry for all the questions. This issue has me crying at night and really really worried about it. I know it's weird, though. Thanks for any advice anyone can offer.

[dejagerw]

Lochia certainly isn't pleasant, but like everything else, you'll get through it. Mine lasted for 6 weeks with my first. (It's not heavy the whole time thought). At the hospital they told me if I pass anything larger than a golf ball to let them know. (I'm like golf ball, arghh). But no, you cannot use tampons. When going to the bathroom, they give you a little peri bottle that you can use to kinda spray off with after going. Like I said before, it's not pleasant, but you'll get through it. Also, I didn't really want to go anywhere my first month or so post partum, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. I can't remember how long my lochia was heavy, but for several weeks I just had a light pantyliner in. I think I read somewhere that RRL tea helps lessen the postpartum bleeding, so I think I'm going to try that this time.

I think the sleep deprivation was bothering me more than lochia postpartum though, so I wouldn't lose any sleep worry about it if I were you

[Aliy]

some one else maybe of more help but persoanlly you'll need to wear a pad. From what i know you aren't supposed to wear tampons for a bit after a birth. and honestly they may not be comfortable anymore. I used to wear them all the time and i can't anymore

With my first i bled for 8 weeks with my second it was 4 i think.

try and find options that will work for you. but I believe that is is really suggested that you don't wear tampons right after

[scrappin-mama]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this! I don't know if this will help you any, but I was also completely terrified of that stage. I DESPISE pads and had used nothing but tampons after the first year of AF. I went through 2 pp with disposable pads, and it was pretty rough.

After ds was born, I switched to the Diva Cup, then eventually to mama cloth. It took me a LONG time to be willing to try cloth pads b/c of my issues with disposable ones, but lemme tell you they are soooo much better! They're not gross at all. I understand now that all the chemicals and fake stuff in the disposable ones is really what makes them so gross. I would never even consider using a tampon now. My periods and cramps have been lighter, and I'm generally in a much better mood when AF comes. I'm not worried about the pp stage at all now because I have my mama cloth all ready.

[Monarchgrrl]

Thanks for the thoughts. I've tried cloth pads before. I still couldn't stand it. But if I have to stand something, and still not leave the house, then cloth would be better. I'm glad to hear that I might not want to leave the house anyway. I HOPE that's true for me. I really do because that would be great! Maybe I'll just make that the rule and everyone else can think it's a babymooning thing and not because of bleeding.

So, how do you stay clean then? Anyone want to tackle that one? I knew about the peri bottle, but I thought that was just while any tears were healing or while everything was still swollen and sore and not for the whole 6-8 weeks though. But that can't get all the blood off or especially out of your hair, right? So what do you do and how often? Thanks!

[rhiOrion]

I think it won't be as bad as you think it will. I have always hated pads. Used tampons with a panty-liner as backup. Then switched to the diva cup.

But, after DD was born I just had other things to worry about. Everything felt so bad down there that some blood wasn't really that big of a deal.

I used the peri bottle, or tissue that I got wet first (and blotted, not wiped).

And, while the lochia did last about 5 weeks for me (and then I bled for another stupid month after I got my IUD in at 6 weeks, ugh), it was only heavy for a short amount of time. Most of the time I had just light pad in.

They kept telling me not to do anything for the first two weeks. And by the time the two weeks was over, the bleeding was much lighter. So, by the time I was regularly leaving the house it was way lighter!

[babyjelly]

I personally wear cloth until the bleeding stops being red, (~2weeks for me) and then switch back to my Mooncup. Yes, I'm aware you're not supposed to; you're also not supposed to wear internal protection during a miscarriage either, though, and I've done that eight times without a problem.
Peri bottles are a lifesaver, as far as hygiene goes, and pubic hair? Well, I started shaving it at 11 precisely because I hated getting blood in it and my mom refused to buy tampons (I'm sure she'd be *thrilled* to have known that then), and have kept it shaved since.
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[clutterbug]

I hate pads, too...maybe not with the same fiery passion you do, but I do get what you're saying. I found for the first few days after my first, I spent alot of time in bed anyway, and it just felt better to not have ANYTHING on. I put old towels underneath me. To me, it felt cleaner and more comfortable than having a pad up against me. Maybe you would find that worse, it's a personal preference thing, really.

As someone else mentioned, the peri bottle is a life saver. Get one for every bathroom in your house

The other thing I would suggest, in addition to all the other great suggestions like red raspberry leaf tea etc, is to just take. it. easy. Bleeding will usually ease up much sooner if you don't push yourself to do your normal routine. So...babymoon for a couple of weeks. Don't do any housework, limit visitors - tell them it's doctor/midwife's orders. Given that you hate pads, you probably won't feel like being out and about too much, anyway...just spend lots of time in bed with your little family

[Lucy Alden]

Yeah, blood clots in pubic hair are a little gross. If it's a deal breaker for you I'd get a brazilian wax or at least an very close trim and wax/shave. Make sure you buy LOTS of pads. That way you can throw them out (or wash them if you're doing mama cloth) as soon as you feel icky without feeling like you have to ration them. And I find that its easier to clean myself with a large cup rather than a peri bottle. Also, keep a bunch of rags or washcloths around so you can dry/clean off. TP doesn't quite do the job. And lastly, the more you take it easy the quicker the lochia will go away.

[javilu]

since we're talking TMI anyway...

I had a labial tear that really stung when I'd pee, so whenever possible I'd pee in the shower, using the shower to direct water in that area and keep pee off of it. I also found wiping with Tucks pads to help when peeing in the shower wasn't practical.

[javilu]

as for how long you'll be sore/swollen, that really varies. i felt swollen for at least a month. i'd say, plan on taking it easy and definitely pamper that region for as long as you need to.

[Monarchgrrl]

Thanks, everyone!! I really appreciate the advice. I'm hopeful now that the bleeding will turn light after a couple weeks (hope!) and that I won't want to go anywhere anyway. It's great to know that the less I do the lighter it'll be (hopefully!). I will make sure to take it very easy. That was the plan anyway, but at least now I have more of a reason. I'm shaved closely right now anyway, so I'll just do that again soon. I'm hopeful now and trying not to stress about it. Thank you!!!!

[jessica_s]

Another pad hater here as well, I actually didn't even last my entire first period without asking my mom to use tampons! I have a 7 day'er though whew do I ever save money with a diva cup!!

I agree with others that taking it easy is a really big deal. Mine lasted just about 6 weeks but I only remember it being heavy enough for a real pad for about two weeks. After that I used panty liners. I was pretty swollen because I pushed for 6 hours and I used frozen pads, witch hazel and a ton of other things on my pads so I could heal and ease the swelling. I had my own cloth wipes I used, I agree with a pp that tp just doesn't get the job done in the beginning. So for the first two weeks pp I'd get everything ready and put it all on my pad, fill up my peri bottle with pretty warm to hot water and also get my washcloth wet, pee with the peri and then wipe, rinse, wipe, rinse. Stick the pad back on and get back to nursing
I also shave, just underneath because hair there makes me insane. It's pretty easy to shave there postpartum so you might consider it, it makes me feel a whole lot better. It also doesn't itch for me when it grows back like the top part. Highly recommended!

HTH!

[Lady Lilya]

I shaved, used a peri bottle, and used a sitz bath often. I still felt icky, but just tried to ignore it.

The less you move around, the less you will bleed, and the sooner you will stop bleeding. Take it easy as much as possible.

[TheGirls]

It really isn't heavy for that long. I mean, I bled heavily for a few days (less than a week) then bled like a normal period for a few days, then it was just a tiny bit of brownish stuff. They gave me industrial-sized postpartum pads to absorb it, and also witch-hazel soaked cloths to wipe the area with. Plus the peri bottle. Yes, peeing was a bit of a production. Yes, there was blood everywhere for a few days. I'd sit for a few minutes, then wipe with a baby wipe, then the witch-hazel wipe, then put on a ginormous pad and a frozen ice pack thingie to help with soreness. That whole shebang lasted like 3 days. And yep, it's gross. If blood in the pubic hair is a total dealbreaker for you, then yeah, a trim would be a good idea. Anyhow afte that, I used just the pad and I'd wipe with TP then a baby wipe to help get things cleaner. Then around 5-6 days I switched to regular pads, regular wiping, just like a period (though I'm not usually a pad user, either) Then around 10 days it was pantiliner-level bleeding. I did bleed for about 4 weeks, but it was really nothing for most of that. I didn't even notice it.

[MaerynPearl]

Day 1 I needed a Depends with a pad in it
Day 2 a Depends was good enough. By that night a super pad was good enough (wore Depends to bed though, to combat leaking from laying down, I hate that!)
Day 3 I switched to mesh panties and pad, flow was that of a medium period
Day 4 mesh panties and pad... could really have gotten by with just a panty liner but I am still a bit afraid of peeing myself or getting a sudden gush... which has never happened with any of my 3 kids but I hear stories that it does!

I certainly will not be leaving the house until at least 2 weeks postpartum... there is no way I could handle it (and if my midwife found out she would be upset, I am supposed to be resting as much as possible lol)

I clean myself every potty break with a peri bottle filled with warm water and a bit of ... uh i forget what it is lol... its a bottle of something, i want to say iodine, that my midwife gave me.

As long as the water is comfortably warm, spraying that thing down there is HEAVEN. And takes care of any clots or anything, as well as the liquid I add to it keeping my stitches from getting infected.

[Lady Lilya]

I got an herbal blend to make a tea from that you put in the peri bottle. I don't remember what was in it, but I have seen them for sale all over the internet.

A perk of that herbal tea thingie was that DH got to feel useful. He made the herbal tea for me and kept the bottle filled.

[EnchantedMamma]

Actually the peri bottle is awesome and WILL get almost everything off/clean if you use enough pressure and water

Keep refilling as needed. It beats having to shower.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Yep, I think you're on the right track. I shaved the day I went into labor so everything was easy to clean anyway. Peri bottle. And I used the Always ultra thin pads so it was less of a diaper feeling. What I HATED was those mesh panties and HUGE pads the hospital gives out. Ick!

[babygrey]

Another pad-hater here, too. Honestly, I abhore pp bleeding. Like pp said, you get thru it. Like everyone else said, the peri-bottle and a close cut are lifesavers. I used Depends the first few days, and, honestly, I liked them better than pads. That seems counter-intuitive, but part of what I hate about pads is the feeling that you don't always stay ON them, kwim?

Another thing that I don't know if is an issue for you- I have a HUGE issues sleeping in pads. Like, I just. can't. Even pp-exhausted. I couldn't in depends, either. I ended up sleeping on a bed layered with cloth dip inserts and towels. It was messy the first time up, but I'd just wrap the whole ordeal around myself and trudge to the toilet.

oh! another thing that really helped me was warm-water soaked washcloths to wash with instead of TP.