Kathirynne, good luck with the banker guy - I sympathise bc I too overanalyse and agonise over every text I send and things like that!
MamaJen, this guy sounds awesome, but I do understand those feelings of freak-out when things are almost TOO good...letting yourself open up and vulnerable is never easy...could totally relate to what you said about past guys who were emotionally unavailable in some way...my ex (DS's father) was an alcoholic and previous serious relationships were all addicts of one kind of another even if it took me a while to realise what kind! So it's scary when someone actually is 'there' and really present with you, b/c it breaks all kinds of old patterns - and I guess part of us just wants to hold on to the familiar and painful!
And, it turns out, a similar pattern of being attracted to someone who plays 'push-pull' with me, is now occurring with this Accountant Guy - don't know whY i've found it so hard to let go of him when all the signs are there...he's made plans with me about 4 times now only to pull out for seemingly legitimate reasons when it comes to the crunch...so finally I sent him a text tonight saying, texts (SMS'es) can lead to miscommunication and I'm not sure what his intentions are, I'm up for getting to know him better on the phone if he'd like to, but if not then probably better to let things go if it's not going anywhere. He hasn't replied...think that's probably it!
I'm finding it really, really hard right now not being in a relationship. It just seems I'm surrounded by, although not perfect of course, secure and happy-seeming couples who've been together for like a decade and can actually move on with their lives and plan things - I feel like I can't really do that when I don't know who I'll be with ...it's like a big piece of the jigsaw is missing...pathetic I know, esp b/c my life is very full - but it doesn't seem to matter how full it is, and how satisfying other areas of it are - I still want a partner... or at least someone to be intimate with, that i can trust.
A friend suggested I ask a guy I dated a few months ago, (a mutual friend), who I'm still friends with, if he wants to be 'intimate partners' (ie just lovers with no relationship strings attached), and I am going to see him this weekend so it's on my mind...but its his birthday party so I don't think it's the time to raise such issues
and of course I'm scared of being rejected. I do still feel a lot of love for this guy whenever I think of or see him, and he's really NOT the destructive push-pull type: very honest and upfront about where he's at, very 'real', sensitive, able to be vulnerable, etc. But he had decided things didn't feel somehow right for a relationship with me, yet he told my friend recently he still likes me as much as ever and thinks I'm really lovely...exactly how i feel about him.