Personally, I think--but it's just my opinion--that this whole "love language" thing is overblown.
Sure, as a concept, it's a very rapid, simplified way to describe a situation and get a handle on the underlying dynamic of how people express and respond to expressions of love.
But it is not, IMO, the whole picture. And one of the things the theory fails to address is that humans are by nature "language animals". We learn language instinctively as babies. Language defines us. We think with language. We function with language. We understand our world with language.
But none of that prevents us from learning new languages. We can all learn more than one language. All of us. At any point. Sure, the older we get, the harder it is for physiological reasons among other things. And sometimes it might be one of the hardest thing we do. And sometimes, we need certain conditions to do so. But we can still do it.
Personally, for me, overcoming my own insecurity would be harder than learning to "hear" a new "love language". That said, I admit that one of the conditions for learning the new LL would be to first/previously overcome my own insecurities.
Butterflymom, perhaps if you really try to think of it as a "language" in which actions = words, it might help. Every time his actions prove his interest, think to yourself "he just 'said' XYZ."
All that said, he's either right for you or not. And if it's "not", it doesn't matter how close-but-no-cigare he is to being "right".
At the same time, verbal, expansive, flowery-words guys who also carry ice scrapers and use them are probably as rare as unicorns.
Sure, as a concept, it's a very rapid, simplified way to describe a situation and get a handle on the underlying dynamic of how people express and respond to expressions of love.
But it is not, IMO, the whole picture. And one of the things the theory fails to address is that humans are by nature "language animals". We learn language instinctively as babies. Language defines us. We think with language. We function with language. We understand our world with language.
But none of that prevents us from learning new languages. We can all learn more than one language. All of us. At any point. Sure, the older we get, the harder it is for physiological reasons among other things. And sometimes it might be one of the hardest thing we do. And sometimes, we need certain conditions to do so. But we can still do it.
Personally, for me, overcoming my own insecurity would be harder than learning to "hear" a new "love language". That said, I admit that one of the conditions for learning the new LL would be to first/previously overcome my own insecurities.
Butterflymom, perhaps if you really try to think of it as a "language" in which actions = words, it might help. Every time his actions prove his interest, think to yourself "he just 'said' XYZ."
All that said, he's either right for you or not. And if it's "not", it doesn't matter how close-but-no-cigare he is to being "right".
At the same time, verbal, expansive, flowery-words guys who also carry ice scrapers and use them are probably as rare as unicorns.
I don't mean to be flip and I mostly lurk in this forum/thread, but it may just be his makeup not to 'get' what that's about, no matter how simple or pleasing those things would be to you. He is showing who he is with the sum of his actions (many of which sound extremely warm and kind--though others are clearly falling short) and you're not believing him.
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