Anyone else planing a Unassisted Birth? - Page 2

[redeyedvireo]

Originally Posted by littleteapot

ETA: Wait, what does "Pax" mean?

Latin for Peace. Traditional way to end disagreements.

[JosieAK]

I think Pax means "Peace" in Latin.

I had that wonderful kind of midwife and didn't know what a gift I had. As a first timer, even being extensively "book prepared", I really was not mentally prepared for birth, even though I thought I was. My midwife described her role as "holding my space" and kept a very hands off approach, sitting in the other room for most of my 36 hours of laboring in our 2 room apartment. She did do intermittent monitoring and occasionally offered gentle suggestions or support. She even tried to help me let go of my husband for two seconds reminding me that he can't do it for me and I needed to focus within myself instead of clinging to him like a drowning woman. Wow. Lots of memories coming back. I wish I was one of those strong woman laboring alone in her secret place, but I fought that too much to ever really get there. I have a lot to learn, and I hope to face my next birth with more readiness and more tools to go where I need to go so I don't end up needing medical intervention again. And my midwife is going with me again. I asked her if I could catch my own baby last time, and she told me that she would remind me when the time came. I didn't get to do that because some strange doctor did, but maybe next time. I would love to have my dream birth next time.

[littleteapot]

Originally Posted by redeyedvireo

Latin for Peace. Traditional way to end disagreements.

Oh okay! I figured it was something like that. I've never actually heard the term before.

[Tumble Bumbles]

I'm bumping this thread because I'm seriously reconsidering a UC. I have conflicting feelings though. I admit, many of them are steeped in the fact that I was taught my whole life (whether intentionally or not) that women "need" medical assistance for birth.

My first was a home birth with a midwife, and I liked her okay, but I switched to her at 37 weeks and we didn't form that bond everyone talks about. Locally, people worship the ground she walks on which is odd since she's the one who gave me a formula bag and who was completely unavailable and disconnected during the postpartum period. Still, I had a pretty good home birth.

This time, I'm with another midwife, and I do really like her...but still...everything seems so, medicalized? Now, she is totally cool with me declining all the tests/internal exams and such, but I have to sign waivers and so on. I like her philosophy on childbirth, she says her services are rarely needed and women are created to birth and she is just there to provide support should it be needed. I really like that.

However, I still feel drawn to UC. For some reason I keep imagining this babe coming at night, when everyone is sleeping, with just me and him/her, peacefully without any one checking, or looking on, or asking if I'm okay, or whatever.

Of course, the other side of me who was raised in a very mainstream environment still has residual fears. You know, all the 'what if's'.

I know there was a bit of debate in the thread, but personally, I want a midwife to leave me be unless there is something I don't feel capable of handling . I think they are called to serve and while I respect that calling, let's not confuse who is actually laboring and having the baby. I think there's some ego that gets involved, which is the same issue I have with OBs -- that a woman can't possibly give birth unless they're facilitating the whole thing. I have seen midwives with this attitude (mine doesn't seem like that but who knows when it really comes down to it).


I really want to trust my body and the process, and on some levels I do (having had the home birth already)...So, I guess I'm just hashing this all out spiritually and logistically. My husband is not 'against' it so much as nervous about it. He was raised very mainstream too in that respect, and felt fine with the midwife (a "professional" as he calls it)...but is a bit freaked about a UC. However, I know if it comes down to it, he will support me (he is one in a million).

So, the UC is still something I keep coming back to over and over again.

Anyone else having these feelings?

[heathenmom]

Yeah, I'm firmly on the fence. We uc'ed dd#2, mainly because we felt we had no other choice: stay home and uc, or go to the hospital for a c/s for my gigantic breech baby (gigantic ... yeah; breech ... not so much!).

I have additional medical issues now, or the choice would have already been made. I don't feel like I have access to all the information I need (and don't know where to get it ... surely not from the ob I'm currently seeing) concerning the true effects of my bG on the baby. I know I don't have to say this here, of all places, but of course my first priority is a healthy baby. But IME I just don't labor well in a hospital, with iv's and cervical checks and constant interruption. Let me hang out, doing my own thing in the bathtub or shower and I can get a baby out in a couple of hours! Put me in a hospital with all the interventions associated with a high-risk pregnancy and I'm good for a 30+ hour labor. Not cool. I'm SO confused and frustrated. TBH, if I'd known specifically what I was in for as a pregnant diabetic I'm not sure I'd have agreed to have another baby.

[Tumble Bumbles]

Are you type 2 or 1, or does that matter in pregnancy (I don't know much about it truthfully). Are you controlling it with meds or diet or both?

I hate the title 'high risk'. Talk about doing a number on the mama's mindspace. I wish they called it something like... special considerations pregnancy Something less... tragic sounding. I agree with laboring at home versus in a hospital. I would have done TERRIBLY in a hospital with my history of abuse coupled with my history with terrible medical treatment and fear/disdain of the general medical machine (though I know there are some wonderful individual HCPs).

Well, we can be on the fence together.

[BarefootScientist]

I am on the fence as well and likely will be for a while yet. I am wanting a homebirth midwife but I have yet to sign on with her. The fire kind of messed up my timeline. As soon as we finish getting set up in our new place I will contact the midwife again and set up a meeting. Gotta be soon I'm thinking! I'm almost 10 weeks. We had a meeting scheduled before, then 2 days prior we had the fire. Anyway, if we don't click with that midwife for whatever reason, as she is pretty much the only homebirth option around here, I will be going to the hospital-based midwives for prenatal care and probably trying to convince my husband to stay home for the birth if things go well.

[Mommy2Austin]

I'm riding the fence on it only because I have to have someone to sign off on my FMLA paperwork so I get my check from Colonial (paying on it for over a year and finally ready to see it go to work for me and hopefully give me more time at home with this kidlet that I missed out on with my Daughter. ) If I could have that figured out without a midwifes intervention I'd be just fine. If I can't I do have a wonderful midwife I can use who has delivered my last two children. Only issue is her being OON with my insurance which cost us nearly half of her fees last time around, so I might look into the midwife owned/run really awesome Birth Center in the next town that is In-network.

[heathenmom]

Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles

Are you type 2 or 1, or does that matter in pregnancy (I don't know much about it truthfully). Are you controlling it with meds or diet or both?

I hate the title 'high risk'. Talk about doing a number on the mama's mindspace. I wish they called it something like... special considerations pregnancy Something less... tragic sounding. I agree with laboring at home versus in a hospital. I would have done TERRIBLY in a hospital with my history of abuse coupled with my history with terrible medical treatment and fear/disdain of the general medical machine (though I know there are some wonderful individual HCPs).

Well, we can be on the fence together.

LOL, I LOVE "special considerations" pregnancy!

I'm t2, controlled with oral meds/diet/exercise. My a1c is in the normal/non-diabetic range, but my fasting bG, as always, is high. Oral meds and strict diet have had very little effect on it over the last 10 months. The OB has given me a couple more weeks to get it to "normal" before we start tweeking my meds, and if that doesn't work he wants me on insulin, which I'm pretty sure would risk me completely out of a mw-attended homebirth. Leaving me, again, with the choice of an ob-attended hospital birth or an unassisted birth.

I'm kinda-sorta hoping for another precipitous (sp?) labor/birth ... dd#2's labor was 3 hours, start to finish. In that situation I don't THINK I'd have an issue going to the hospital afterwards for observation (me and/or the baby) ... I'm just dreading the IV and all the poking and prodding during actual labor.

Mommy2Austin, I hear ya on the FMLA paperwork. That was one big reason why I maintained shadow care with dd#2.

[Tumble Bumbles]

Edited for privacy concerns.

Edited by Tumble Bumbles - 4/9/11 at 2:52pm

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles

Yeah my husband brought up the FMLA thing too, as I would love him to be able to be here for at least a couple weeks after babe is born until I get into some sort of a groove. I'm with a midwife now, could she sign off on it now and then we decide later to UC?

Mommy2Austin, my midwife is OON too but they asked for an exception because my insurance had no home birth options in their network -- they agreed to pay 100%! So that's worth checking out if you can. However, our insurance is drastically changing in Jan to a high deductible plan so it's kind of moot and we would have to pay the rest OOP (the deductible is like $3000 beginning Jan).

We've fought that good fight the last time around. My midwife even tried billing through the birth center I'm looking at because the owner is the one who sold her the homebirth practice and also has attended both of my births. Couldn't work it.

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles

Yeah my husband brought up the FMLA thing too, as I would love him to be able to be here for at least a couple weeks after babe is born until I get into some sort of a groove. I'm with a midwife now, could she sign off on it now and then we decide later to UC?

Are you talking about FMLA for you, as an employee, or your dh, as a employee?

[Tumble Bumbles]

My dh as an employee. He can use his term leave for the birth of a baby (as opposed to vacation time) but it has to go through FMLA, which I think needs a HCP's info? DH told me they may need to contact the midwife or she'd have to sign off on it or something. We obviously have to look more into it

[OrangeMoon]

We're planning a UP/UC and I am SSOOOOO excited!!!!! Also I *LOVE* the "special considerations" term

[weliveintheforest]

I am planning a UC as well. We did a UP/UC last time around. I've considered hiring the local registered midwives but most likely will not.

[Max'sMama]

For our first homebirth we had our Chiro sign the FMLA paperwork since our midwife was a DEM, not recognized in our state. And it was fine and unquestioned.

[Buddhamom]

DH would love to do UC however this time around I am a bit more paranoid of being all alone at my age. No medical probs. just nervous on my part. I would do homebirth but with a daughter in college and all, coming up with that kind of money just isn't in the plan right now. Especially since babe was a surprise. I will be having baby in the birthing center. But with only a midwife and she said I can call the shots. So I will most likely do it just like my last, do ALL laboring at home and get there just in time to give birth. They won't be taking baby for check ups, baths or anything, it will be staying with me, and DH will stay over night in our little suite too.

[JustVanessa]

Massive kudos to you ladies than can do it and have husbands that are ok with it.
Not happening at our house, though. I am too scared.

I have had two VERY hard labours. My first I had pre-e and hellps and was induced at 37 weeks b/c my liver was failing. He ended up being forhead presenting and we had a c/s.
My second was a VBAC,but it was 43 hours of back labour. It was really bad. I did everything I could to have a peaceful birth experience and it didn't end up that way.
Both my babies were delivered by my wonderful family doctor. In Canada, you don't see an OB unless you have very serious complications.
We do finally have a midwife in our little town, but since our doc is so fantastically awesome (during my vbac I asked for a c/s three times and he said no because baby was fine and I didn't need it) I will be sticking with him. I won't have a doula b/c I think that my best friend is going to fill that spot.

[OrangeMoon]

Originally Posted by JustVanessa

Massive kudos to you ladies than can do it and have husbands that are ok with it.
Not happening at our house, though. I am too scared.

I have had two VERY hard labours. My first I had pre-e and hellps and was induced at 37 weeks b/c my liver was failing. He ended up being forhead presenting and we had a c/s.
My second was a VBAC,but it was 43 hours of back labour. It was really bad. I did everything I could to have a peaceful birth experience and it didn't end up that way.
Both my babies were delivered by my wonderful family doctor. In Canada, you don't see an OB unless you have very serious complications.
We do finally have a midwife in our little town, but since our doc is so fantastically awesome (during my vbac I asked for a c/s three times and he said no because baby was fine and I didn't need it) I will be sticking with him. I won't have a doula b/c I think that my best friend is going to fill that spot.

What does being forehead presenting mean?

[weliveintheforest]

Originally Posted by OrangeMoon

What does being forehead presenting mean?

instead of the back of the head coming out first, the baby's forehead was coming, which basically means face-first.