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i'm so ready to wean.

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
holding sleeping child and typing one handed.

my first child weaned when she was around 30 months old and i was about 20 weeks pg when she weaned. it really made my skin crawl when she nursed. i think she was close to being ready herself but i actively encouraged it. i never though i would feel that way about bfing but i attributed it to pregnancy hormones.

now my youngest is nearly three years old and only nurses about once a week. i really don't like it any more. i am totally touched out. i don't want her coming anywhere near my breasts. i'm not pregnant either. i am so ready to wean cold turkey and i'd doubt she'd miss it much.

i guess i'm just feeling guilty at disliking a relationship that i used to cherish with both my daughters. i thought it would be different weaning when not pregnant but its very similar.
post #2 of 14

I SO know where you're coming from!

I could have written your post! I encourage my son to wean when he was three and I was pregnant because it made my skin crawl when he was latched on. I also didn't want to tandem nurse. He did well and it was an easy transition.
My daughter will be 5 on Monday and still occassionally nurses. It has made my skin crawl for the last several years. I highly recommend finding a distraction. I am lucky to have a friend who will talk to me on the phone while I am putting my kids to sleep. Sometimes I will click on the TV if she nurses in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Generally if it's too much I tell her it hurts mommy and that we have to try again another time. I think that when the milk supply is low (like when you're pregnant) it creates that creepy feeling. So, generally I also warn her that there isn't much milk so she won't be able to nurse for long. Sometimes I get away with a minute or two and then am able to unlatch a very content little girl.
Hope that helps. Best of luck!
BTW my daughter is a Charlotte too
post #3 of 14

Weaning

I nursed a lot longer than I ever thought I would. I thought it was time when my 2and a half year old was pretty much eating a huge dinner and just using the milk as some sort of top off. I was still nursing every four hours at night. I would get a jar of peanut butter and tell her she could nurse after she ate the peanut butter. She was too tired and full to want to nurse after the peanut butter. This was done at the midnight and 4 a.m. feedings. If she had a request during the day I would just say that there was not any milk and offer her food. I think it took a week . My problem was that I still would leak some up to her turning 3 and i still have a tiny bit of milk. Good Luck .I was going to nurse until she was three but she was obviously getting all the food she was needing so it made sense for me. If I felt she needed me for basic feeding I would have kept on.
post #4 of 14
My experience with my children has definitely changed my opinion on what's 'normal' in breastfeeding! I thought CLW was so sweet and natural but then my own experience was the exact opposite. So now it just is normal to me that I breastfeed for a while and then I start to feel irritated so I wean. Like that image of an animal pushing away their young. It feels natural to me.

I get not everyone feels that way, of course. But 2 kids later I'm at peace with how it feels here. The irritation is nature at work. Something to be trusted and honored. No shame or guilt! It feels like the natural progression of the relationship
post #5 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by D_McG View Post
My experience with my children has definitely changed my opinion on what's 'normal' in breastfeeding! I thought CLW was so sweet and natural but then my own experience was the exact opposite. So now it just is normal to me that I breastfeed for a while and then I start to feel irritated so I wean. Like that image of an animal pushing away their young. It feels natural to me.

I get not everyone feels that way, of course. But 2 kids later I'm at peace with how it feels here. The irritation is nature at work. Something to be trusted and honored. No shame or guilt! It feels like the natural progression of the relationship
Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you. I'm up way too late, 15 weeks pregnant with a high-risk pregnancy (first babe was a preemie), and thinking about weaning my 24 month old... with much sadness and guilt. CLW sounds so ideal but I have so many reasons why I should wean and thankfully my DD has handled the reduction in frequency and duration of nursing sessions surprisingly well so far that I feel like it won't be too traumatic to officially wean... well, not too traumatic on her, I'm not so sure about me! But, I feel like I need to trust my mothering instincts and my body's reaction rather than solely listen to my head which says CLW is best. Your post has really resonated with me, thank-you.
post #6 of 14
Thank you for this post!! I am feeling the same way. My twin boys just turned 4 on Saturday. One of my boys has already weaned at a little over 3 1/2 but the other one is very much attached to his "nah nahs". He wakes up at 4am, crawls into my bed, and nurses. I let him nurse for a bit but then I'm done. He cries and says "But I'm thirsty!!" I'm not sure how to stop the 4am nursing.
post #7 of 14
Same here... I really feel awful about the way I feel sometimes but Its nice to know it is normal.

When pregnant with DS2 I weaned DS1(21 months at the time) about 15 weeks pg. I hated the feeling of dreading the nursings. The latch on absolutely drove me crazy!!

Now I am 14 weeks pg and still nursing DS2(14 months) and getting the same feelings agian. It is definantly the "creepy crawlies" makes you just shudder and feel very anxious. Not to mention he is teething and wants to nurse all night long.....

My nipples have been very sore and sensitive since I have been pregnant and I just want him to hurry up and wean. I was hoping my milk would dry and make it easier but its not.
post #8 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by D_McG View Post
The irritation is nature at work. Something to be trusted and honored. No shame or guilt! It feels like the natural progression of the relationship
This makes a lot of sense to me and I've noticed that pattern in other areas too.

Can some of you experienced "weaners" tell us what it's like after you wean? My fears are less cuddles, harder illnesses, longer tantrums, longer recoveries from injuries... what will I do without this cure-all mama tool?

Also, other than your own irritation, were there signs from kiddo that made you feel he/ she was ready or wasn't ready? I'm having a hard time knowing if the sudden storms of separation anxiety and outright meltdown frustration are developmental or situational, and if they mean I should hang in there with the nursing for a little longer til he seems more evenly content throughout the day and week... or the opposite... confusion...
post #9 of 14
Weaning has always been a relief to me. I mean I do enjoy nursing but by the time it's time to wean then it's like finishing anything that hash past it's prime. I never encountered all those things people warn you about ("but now you'll have a child waking 7 times a night with no way to soothe them!", "think of the tantrums!"). No. Instead both me and the child developed new, more varied ways to relate. Me and my boobs were no longer the only answer. Now we had a lot more options. And a lot more sleep

IDK re: 'readiness'. All I knew was that if my skin was crawling.. no good could come of it! I really believe that children will adjust. I guess I don't believe it's that big a deal? Is that a UAV?
post #10 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by D_McG View Post
My experience with my children has definitely changed my opinion on what's 'normal' in breastfeeding! I thought CLW was so sweet and natural but then my own experience was the exact opposite. So now it just is normal to me that I breastfeed for a while and then I start to feel irritated so I wean. Like that image of an animal pushing away their young. It feels natural to me.

I get not everyone feels that way, of course. But 2 kids later I'm at peace with how it feels here. The irritation is nature at work. Something to be trusted and honored. No shame or guilt! It feels like the natural progression of the relationship
Thank you D_McG! This makes sense and does make me feel better. She nursed today, but last week she told us all (of her own accord) that she's a big girl and doesn't need mommy milk anymore. I was really hoping that'd be the case. I guess we'll see.
post #11 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by LCBMAX View Post
This makes a lot of sense to me and I've noticed that pattern in other areas too.

Can some of you experienced "weaners" tell us what it's like after you wean? My fears are less cuddles, harder illnesses, longer tantrums, longer recoveries from injuries... what will I do without this cure-all mama tool?

Also, other than your own irritation, were there signs from kiddo that made you feel he/ she was ready or wasn't ready? I'm having a hard time knowing if the sudden storms of separation anxiety and outright meltdown frustration are developmental or situational, and if they mean I should hang in there with the nursing for a little longer til he seems more evenly content throughout the day and week... or the opposite... confusion...
Well, i would not call myself experience, but...I did wean my very nearly three year old. It's been two full weeks now. I had tried 2 times before and I couldn't make it. It was an entire week of 2 to 3 hours of laying in bed with her flipping and flopping and lots of crying and asking.

This time i started mentioning all of her bigger friends who don't nurse anymore. I had little conversations with her about mama/dada teaching her how to grow up and not nurse anymore. One night I just asked her which she preferred, a vanilla shake or nursing. She chose the shake. I asked her do you think you could stop nursing and be a big girl. To my surprise she said yes.

The next night we talked to her right before bed and said that now is the time for her to learn how to not nurse. Daddy will put you to bed (not usual) so that you can fall asleep without nursing. She complained a little and went with Daddy, but it has be very easy. She must have been ready.

I love cuddling with her. Before she didn't want any kind of cuddles that didn't involve a breast in her mouth! She still asks sometimes, but it is very easy to resist and she accepts it.

I love being able to sit down without being attacked at the boob!
One draw back. She had a little cold right before weaning. i thought she was getting over it when I weaned, but it turned to a cough for two weeks plus sinus infection. This never has happened for TWO weeks. The longest a cold/cough ever hung on was three days. i really believe that the weaning giving up naps (loosing sleep) had this effect.

Also, I highly recommend having daddy or other care giver help at night if possible. They are really bonding over this.

She still wakes up a lot. Hoping this will change over time.

I had no idea I would nurse until nearly three years of age. I think it was good for my particular kind of child. It was wonderful, but I could tell I was ready to wean(I had creepy crawly skin/irritability) and I felt like it would help build her confidence to see that she is a big girl and can stop nursing.

I was right. She is way more confident. Due to medical conditions, I have had to leave her with different friends about three times/week for the last three weeks. Her confidence is much better now when I leave her. Maybe that would have happened anyway, but I think it is related.

Hope this helps.
post #12 of 14
My daughter is almost 21 months and we didn't nurse at all today, for the first time ever! She was a total boob addict but I started putting her on a schedule and then cutting out feeds a couple months ago. I started getting the creepy crawly feeling, even though I am not prego. Maybe bc I don't have much milk left. I am also trying to get prego and not having any luck doing it while nursing. About a month ago I cut down to 1x/day and tonight I asked her if we could skip the na nas and read books instead. She didn't mind at all. I never thought I could wean so peacefully, given how quick she was to melt down if she didn't get to nurse every 10 minutes...but bc I did it slowly, there wasn't a lot of tears involved.

I'm feeling a bit confused and sad and free and excited all at once right now bc we might actually be done! It is sad to have that part of our relationship come to an end, but I feel like she might not need it so much anymore. And it will hopefully open the door to being able to conceive her a brother or sister to have a new nursing relationship with.

As for how it is parenting without nursing, I can already answer that bc I stopped nursing other than bedtime a month ago and stopped the unscheduled nursings even before that. Bc we did the weaning gradually, I learned other ways to get my cuddles in and sooth the boo boos. Your baby will be ok with hugs and kisses when they fall down and will stop crying soon, despite not nursing. My daughter is actually more willing to cuddle now that she is not nursing all the time. She never would just lean into me and snuggle before. And she never ever was capable of sleeping in bed with me without being attached the entire time! No joke - she would stay attached for hours. Now she sleeps next to me or snuggles up next to me and goes to sleep. I am finding all these new precious moments with my little one that we couldn't enjoy while nursing. So yes - you will figure out new way the handle things and you will both still get all the love and close ness that you need! :-)

Cindy
post #13 of 14
I have been talking to my son about being a big boy and what fun big boys have. He'd say "I not a big boy! I a baby!!" So, I did something a little unconventional.

I have an awesome pediatrician, who is very pro breastfeeding. She was *thrilled* that I was nursing my twins at 2. My boys love her, too. So, what I did was ask her about talking to him about being a big boy and that big boys don't need nah nahs anymore.

She talked to him gently about the fun things that big boys do, and that he doesn't need nah nahs (she even said "nah nahs" : ).

We haven't nursed in a week. He still does ask but I'll say "Remember what the Dr said?". He gets upset but he's over it after a few minutes.

So, hopefully, this means that we are on our way to weaning!
post #14 of 14
Phew! What a relief to read all of these posts about weaning and creepy crawlies. My DS is almost 22 months and in the last few weeks I have been just holding my breath to try to make it to 24 months as a cut off for my own sanity. But. He keeps chewing on my nipples, despite my trying to show him and tell him how much it hurts. We nap together and he also has to stay pretty much attached the entire time. However, somedays, whether hormones (PMS, not preggo here) or when I was sick this last week-end, it drives me nuts, makes my skin crawl. While I want to give him the best of everything, your posts have resonnated with me and the best is what is best for both of us and right now BF is not it for me. The guilt has begun to lift. Thank you thank you thank you!
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