I have to thank you for this thread! I've been feeling much the same way. I finally went into my closet and pulled out some things that were too small a few months ago, and I found a few key pieces that actually fit: 3 nice jackets that fit perfectly, a nice 3/4 sleeve dressy shirt, as well as some colorful scarves, 1 pair of cords and a few pairs of sporty khakis. I didn't find a pair of jeans that fit just the way I like, but I did find one pair that I can work with. :-) "Finding" these things in my closet makes them feel "new." I'll be hitting up thrift and consignment stores, as well as sales to eventually have a more complete wardrobe. I think feeling put together as a mom, especially a SAHM, is so important.
I noticed that you just had a baby under 2 months ago! Congrats on losing your baby weight! I, too, lost my baby weight fairly soon, but my prepregnancy clothes still didn't fit until at least 4 months post-partum, at which time they were snug. Over the summer, however, they fit rather nicely and I felt confident. But I continued to lose weight (not trying) until my prepregnancy pants all hung on me. Up until the point where I just ransacked my closet, I was down to 1 pair of cords that fit okay, but were slightly big, a few tank tops and 2 sweaters. I didn't even want to go out of the house because I felt like I was always wearing the same thing! I don't currently have a ton of options, but I at least feel better knowing that I have a few options that I *feel* good in.
I second the idea that it's good to get yourself ready first thing in the morning. I'm a fan of wearing yoga pants occasionally, but certainly not everyday, and certainly not pajama bottoms or my husband's too-small boxers with big, baggy T-shirts and sweatshirts! Can we say FRUMPY! (I've been SO guilty of these things!) Getting ready first thing in the morning is a mood-lifter in itself, even if you shower/bathe the night before and simply wash your face, apply makeup if you wear it, brush and possibly style your hair, and get dressed in clothes that make you feel pulled together. If I'm honest with myself, I have time to get ready in the morning, but I put it off until I've felt frumpy most of the day, and when I do "get myself ready" it's not in clothes that make me feel confident.
Exercise helps. It's a general mood lifter, confidence builder, and it's just good for you. For a while my husband and I were walking together (several miles and several times a week). I found that this was quality, bonding time for us. We would talk about our hopes and dreams, and I always feel so close to him during these walks. I really want to get back into walking together.
Concerning not feeling frumpy, I didn't learn to dress for my body type until I was over 30. I'm 34 now. But I'll tell you the website that helped me TONS: http://www.missussmartypants.com/
She taught me to dress for my body type, to wear colors that compliment me, to build a wardrobe around a few basic pieces, to choose 2-3 complimentary colors and to build your wardrobe around these colors, so that everything matches everything else. She taught me how to wear one thing several ways, how to effectively pair accessories with outfits, how to pull together a "put together" look. You do have to pay for this fashion advice, but in my opinion it's money well spent. She's talking to real women with real bodies. Anyway, I think it's about $10 for 1 season of advice or $30 for the whole year. I'm not currently subscribing, but I will in the future. Even though I know my body type now and how to shop for it, she shares the fashion trends of each season and how to effectively incorporate 1-2 new pieces in order to stay current without breaking the bank. But by just paying $10 for one season you'll learn to dress for your body type.
You can do complete homemade facials for very little money. You can do your own manicures and pedicures. Mostly it's just finding the time to do these things. I need to get better about this. We need to remember that it's when we take care of ourselves, that we can be our best and take the best care of those we love.
I'm starting a spin-off thread of this one, a support thread for dissing the frumpy and taking better care of ourselves. Maybe we can go list the things we've done in a day or week to improve our self-images or what not. I believe a LOT of women, especially those of us who stay at home, need encouragement and support in this area.