If you had a doula for your birth, what exactly did she do?

[TXmom2]

I'm considering a doula to augment my hospital birth. I'd like to know what your experience was...
What exactly did she do?
When did you hire one?
Did you have your doula for birth only? Pre? Post?

Come on ladies...share the details?

[nova22]

What did she do?

She was a communication link between the hospital staff and me. She was very aware of my birth plan and my specific wants/needs so if I was otherwise occupied (in the bathroom, resting, or just not feeling like dealing with a barrage of doctor questions) my doula would help them in any way that she could. She couldn't make decisions for me, of course, but she helped talk. Oh, and when the person from registration kept calling my room because they lost my preregistration, she finally answered the phone and said "this poor woman is trying to have a baby, can you lay off for a little while?!"

She also suggested natural pain management techniques, encouraged me to move around, and made sure I had plenty of water. Not only that, she was incredibly helpful to my husband. He was running on about 30 minutes of sleep or less and he was looking a little pale and sickly. At one point I was resting and nothing was really going on, so she offered to get him a snack or stay with me while he left to get something. She was very supportive to him, not just me.

When did I hire her?

I was maybe 4 months along, I can't remember for sure. I hired a doula in another pregnancy almost as soon as I knew I was pregnant, but that was a little different because she was a friend of mine who really wanted to be there.

Both times, the doulas were for the birth only but they both made at least 2 prenatal appointments (to discuss/write birth plans, get to know each other, etc) and one postnatal (to meet the baby, help with breastfeeding if needed, etc).

[Aliy]

What did she do

She was wonderful. now I had a team ( read two) of doulas. they helped take pictures they rubbed my feet. Got cloths for me. made sure i had my ice chips. during transition one of them helped me foucus and use the discomfort instead of losing control. ( the doc wanted to to lay down caue i still had a lip of cervix left and it really wasn't comfortable)
Pre natal they stopped by to find out what my desires were and what I wanted from them. Right after birth they were there to comfort me and got me something to eat.
I reall think doulas are wonderful people to have at your birth. just make sure you meet with them and that you are sure they mesh well with you and your wishes.

when did i hire?

It was late in my pregnancy i think i was about 7 months along.

[pattimomma]

She didn't do anything. She told me she didn't know what to do because I was handling it all by myself and making labor look so easy. Oh wait I take that back she helped the midwife clean up after the birth (homebirth) but that was about it. I didn't pay her (her idea since she didn't do anything) and she was hired when I was about 4 months. She had only attended hospital births so the homebirth was new for her.

[myk]

before the birth, she helped me with my birth plan and just got to know each other. during the birth, she came to the hospital and spent an obscene number of hours massaging my feet (i had pre-e so they swelled up like i can't even describe) and gave me physical support as i moved around. during the attempted vaginal birth, she held my hand, encouraged my pushing in a positive way, and anytime i agreed to another intervention she asked me if i was absolutely sure (we had discussed the risks of each, so she just wanted me to take an extra second to make sure i felt good about the decision). when we went to a caesarean (i was hemorrhaging) she came after i woke up and helped me move around, brought me baby to breastfeed, and helped me with positioning.

she also had a followup after i got home. PRICELESS.

[ShadowMoon]

I hired one very late, at 36 wks along. She was AWESOME! She gave DP and I basic childbirth info, came to the house and talked about how I wanted my birth to play out, as well as other options if things came up. During the actual birth she massaged my back, gave DP and I words of encouragement, reminded me what my goals were, helped convey my wishes to the nurses, etc. She was the rock DP and I needed during labor. She also came over after DS was born and helped with some things after the birth. (I don't think all doulas do that though). Either way, I highly recommend hiring one

[babygrey]

I've had doulas at both of my births- one was, TBH, mostly useless and the other I sincerely believe the universe placed at my birth bc I can't fathom how I would have gotten thru my birth w/o her....

My first birth was a hospital birth and, tho I was young and dirt poor, I knew I wanted a natural birth and that I wanted a doula. I found a doula in the process of starting up. I believe I was her 2nd doula birth. I paid her 50 dollars. She wasn't worth that much.

We met once pre-birth, to go over my birth plan and for her to give me a crash course in labor-relief. In retrospect, the fact I had a doula was a crutch for me to feel "safe" that I would have the birth I dreamed of.

I don't fault her now (I was upset for a long time), but my ferocious pitocin-induced-posterior-baby-prolonged labor-high forceps birth overwhelmed her and she basically stood in the corner and looked scared and meek. I'm not exaggerating. I'm a labor screamer and she freaked. My MW sent her home at some point, bc she was obviously not helping.

To this day, I believe my birth might have gone differently if I'd had a more experienced doula by my side; one who could have offered suggestions when I was lost in the pain of back labor, or positions that might have helped my OP baby turn, or more effective pushing techniques.... anyway... it was a good lesson in 'you get what you pay for'.

My second birth was a homebirth, and I *almost* didn't hire a doula bc I had a fantastic MW and was way more personally prepared for labor. However, my doula taught my birth class and I just fell in love w/ her presence. I hired her at 34ish weeks?

Like I said, I believe fate put her at my birth. I went into labor mid-morning and my DH called my doula. She came by just to say hi and help set up... but it turned out, I was in the throes of labor. She held me and centered me and chanted w/ me and yelled w/ me... she helped me get in the tub and then, immediately out when it felt like crap...and, well, long story short... I had a precipitous birth and I would have *NEVER* called my MW, had it not been for my doula's insistence I was in transition, just a mere hour after labor started (I was). MW arrived 4 minutes before DD was fully born. I would have been okay w/ a UC, except that I had a MAJOR hemorrhage w/ my placenta. Not only that, but bc my MW's assistant didn't make it in time, my doula assisted my MW at stopping my bleed, giving compression and meds and oxygen.
After I was stable, my doula made a gorgeous placenta print and tucked me and DD into bed

I'd say, if you do hire a doula, certainly pick one who you mesh well with and one with experience. With what I know now, I'd interview a million doulas to find one I clicked with, bc that's who you'll be comfortable w/ when you're in the throes of laborland.

I WISH I had had a pp doula. I'd say that would be incredible if you can afford it.

[St. Margaret]

I was probably about halfway along, and hired my childbirth class teacher to be my doula. She came to our house while I was in labor, did massage on my back, pressed my hips together (counter pressure), it was all very nice as labor got stronger. She helped us know that it was a good time to go to the hospital (we did NOT want to go too soon, but also didn't want to wait too long-- hospital is very close). She helped DH get everything into the car, and when we got there, she stayed with me while DH had to go back and move the car from the front drop off to a real parking spot. If he had needed a break, she'd be there, so I'd never be alone-- not sure if he did, though. She helped get the room the way I wanted, dark and all that. She did the massage and touch all throughout, and when I finally got "cold" out of my lips, found me a blanket fast. She just talked me through a lot of stuff as we got to pushing, held one leg since I birthed on my side, with one leg up that she held that also rested a bit on my OB's shoulder. She took pictures a couple times, including of the birth. She helped me get going breastfeeding and settled and all after the birth. She came to visit postpartum just to check in, if we had questions or needed help. Mostly she utterly made me feel confident about birthing in the hospital, even with my awesome OB. It turned out the nurses were great (OB hand picks them) but I don't know how much she was also smoothing things along, helping them read through our birth plan. IF we had had a nurse or OB who wasn't as ready to follow the plan, she would have been right there, protecting me from interference. I needed that confidence to be able to relax, which I'm sure helped. She was totally worth it.

[DirtyHippyMama]

my mom is a certified doula, so i never "hired" her, and she was free for me (obviously). she was great, though -- present at all my births so far (and planning for the upcoming!). for her clients, she does 2 prenatal visits, the labor/birth, and 1 PP visit...all for about $500 (she bases her fee on the fact that she has to be able to make up for a missed shift at work as a L&D nurse).

i would say that the MOST VALUABLE service she provided was keeping me as focused as possible during transition and delivery. the best thing was her constantly reminding me to "relax your jaw" and "drop your shoulders". i tend to tense up automatically, and often, lost in my own world of pain and fear, but hearing her say those things...well, it was like a robotic response; i would instantly obey. she would also remind me to take deep breaths and relax between contractions during the pushing stage.

during my first birth she was most helpful. my DP was quite useless during the whole ordeal (he was at work until i was well into transition, and just did nothing during the rest of it), so my mom took care of me for the more intense half of the labor. she suggested the birth ball and a bath, made me some bouillon to sip on. then she drove me to the birth center when i suddenly hit transition, and was doing the shallow panting breaths with me the whole way so i could keep from pushing. then we got to the birth center and no one was there, so she brought me to the hospital and had them call my MW at home since she didn't ever return our page.

with #4, i was in the hospital and wanting a pudendal block, and i asked for it repeatedly, once again hitting transition very suddenly and intensely...she was able to go holler for the doc to administer it while i was busy losing my mind.

she also made lots of PP visits (of course) and would occasionally hold the baby while i napped or showered, bringing it to me when it wanted to nurse. she also offered bf support if needed. she did a few loads of laundry & dishes, cleaned up a bit, and played with the other kids when my hubby had to go back to work. yes, most of this is because she's the grandma, but with MY mom, this is really above and beyond her normal involvement.

all in all, she was my sane advocate when i was otherwise unable to advocate for myself. i think it is definitely worth hiring a doula if your DP can't be "trained" to do what she would do, or you're afraid he might freeze up when things get intense (as my DH did when our twins were being born). i don't know what i would do if my mom wasn't a doula...i'm too cheap to hire someone so i would probably have an experienced friend with the same ideals fill in.