I'm having a financial crisis/meltdown

[MsVyky]

I thought my maternity benefits expired at the end of this month, but I just got a statement saying that my last benefit cheque was the one deposited on Tuesday. So just like that, no warning at all, we are going to have to live off of $1000 less per month. This is a HUGE blow.

I am a full time student and work very part time, 10 hours per week (at a pittance of $10 per hour plus a small commission). I don't want to quit this job to find another for the simple fact that I am able to spend the vast majority of my shift doing my schoolwork. The store is very slow most of the time, plus my boss is just too good to me and is always looking out for me (in fact he just fronted me the $500 I needed to register in my DONA workshop)

My husband makes a decent living- Currently $19/hr, full time 80+ hours per week. He is training someone to take over his current position and he will be moving into a management position soon, with another $4 per hour. Once that happens, I think we'll be okay, but the next couple months are going to be very stressful for me

(Come February, we will be okay, as my Maintenance Grants from Students finance come in monthly- $1200 per month from February to July)

I just applied for about 15 scholarships, bursaries and student awards that were posted through my web advisor at my University, at the suggestion from my program advisor who told me that the Awards Committee had $100K to award to students with children (and can demonstrate financial need). I'm crossing my fingers that I get SOMETHING.


So here are our concrete expenses for a month. Can we swing it without me having to go get a second job (time with my DD is already too limited, plus my school obligations are starting to pile up)

Mortgage/property tax: $1150/month
Gas: $100/mo (will spike to $250-300 in the winter months)
Hydro/Electric- $125/mo
Insurance- $75/mo
Gas- $60/mo
Child Care- $200/mo
Groceries- $600/mo
Cellphones/Internet (we cut our landline and cable)-$100/mo
Various Expenses- $200/mo (clothing, etc)
Credit card bills, too, though minimum payments are small.

Total: $2610

DH has a net pay of about $2800 per month, and I make a whopping $400 per month. We also get Child Tax and UCCB, but only $196 per month.

Can we do it?

I've started meal planning for the upcoming week to utilize all the contents of our CSA box, to cu down on wasted and spoiled food, as well as to use up all our pantry supplies- we have tons of grains, beans, etc that have built up over the months.

I'll have to seriously control the little things that eat up our budget- coffee, lunches out, shopping.... I know I CAN do it, but I wouldn't doubt for a second that I have a legitimate shopping compulsion/addiction.

I have asked my boss to let me know if he needs me to pick up a shift here and there, I'm finished school around lunch time and October is our busiest month, so maybe I can pull in a couple hundred extra bucks.

Any suggestions to make this transition easier and more comfortable for us?

[CookAMH]

Sorry this is happening - I was wondering, what was your plan for the couple months after you originally thought benefits ended? You are looking at three months now until DH's pay increases, instead of two since you knew benefits were ending soon (and it happened a month sooner than you realized), right? Just step it up a month. Do you have any savings?

I would work to cut your grocery bill, NO eating out. You alreay know that so it's a behavior thing more than it's a math/$ thing.

Do you buy or pack lunches? Start packing lunches, make coffee at home and take in a travel mug. Lower your heating bill this winter by turning the heat down to below 60 (even put it at 50!) at night, wear more clothes, turn it down if you are all gone during the day, hang blankets over some windows that you don't really use for daylight for extra insulation.

But yes, you can absolutely do it based on the numbers you gave me. Cutting expenses will give more of a cushion.

[MsVyky]

I was banking on DH starting his new job before the benefits ended. I could have SWORN my Service Canada profile said my benefits expired Nov 27, but I guess I was wrong.

I do take my tea in a go-mug, but I'm bad for buying one in between classes after mine is empty. I suppose I could bring tea bags and just use the hot-water tap.. And I do go out for lunch with my sister a couple times a week. That can definitely stop. And saves me at least $100 per month. I don't bring lunch to school, but I'm finished class by 1 at the absolute latests, so I just eat when I get home if I'm not doing lunch with my sis. (but we're gonna cut that for sure)

I think the meal planning will help curb my grocery costs. If I know ahead of time what's for dinner, I won't be buying all the extraneous stuff. DH just needs to stop putting the expensive little "bonus items" in the cart- vegan pudding cups and Clif bars for example- that stuff adds up SO fast.

[MsVyky]

Oh, the 3 months from now isn't when DH gets his raise- he is starting to train his new guy on Monday, and that should take 4-6 weeks. 3 months is when my Maintenance grants start

[Poddi]

From my calculations you have $3396 a month income, and $2610 minimum expenses. You haven't got a problem. Just trim down any extras and tighten belt a bit for a couple months then you guys will be able to enjoy your current lifestyle again, or pay off debts.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by Poddi

From my calculations you have $3396 a month income, and $2610 minimum expenses. You haven't got a problem. Just trim down any extras and tighten belt a bit for a couple months then you guys will be able to enjoy your current lifestyle again, or pay off debts.

Exactly what I saw. I'm not trying to be dismissive, but, based upon the number, I don't see a problem either.

[karkli]

If your DH is making $19/hr. and working 80+ hours per week, his gross pay should be somewhere in excess of $6,000/mo. If his take-home is only $2800, where is the rest of his money going? Could you possibly reassess what is being paid before he is in order to put more money in his paycheck?

Either way, as posted above, your numbers look like they should work. Do you have tuition to pay on top of what you listed?

[CarrieMF]

When did you start mat leave? Double check & see if there is a mistake.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by MsVyky

My husband makes a decent living- Currently $19/hr, full time 80+ hours per week. He is training someone to take over his current position and he will be moving into a management position soon, with another $4 per hour. Once that happens, I think we'll be okay, but the next couple months are going to be very stressful for me



I'll have to seriously control the little things that eat up our budget- coffee, lunches out, shopping.... I know I CAN do it, but I wouldn't doubt for a second that I have a legitimate shopping compulsion/addiction.

Any suggestions to make this transition easier and more comfortable for us?

So I highlighted these two things because I think they're the key.

First you kind of have to accept that a decent living doesn't mean you can ease up on all the little things. We've had this problem at a different level - after we bought our first house we were still in "wow we make decent money" mode and kind of conveniently ignored the actual costs for a few months. So just be careful that you reframe your thinking to "we have enough for a nice stable life if we're careful."

Second I think it really is mostly about figuring out how to avoid temptation. And part of that is finding all the fun free ways to go about things like make sure you're up on all the stuff you can get from your local library, festivals, make plans with people at each other's homes rather than out at restaurants, and so on.

Most importantly: do not shop recreationally. You may find if you have been that you need a new outlet. And you probably want to come up with a holiday budget and plan - a fun one, like challenging your creativity.

If you can get it through your library I find some of the most motivating books around spending are Your Money Or Your Life and the Tightwad Gazette stuff.

[Thystle]

Did you mean DH works 80+ hours every two weeks? If it's every week then you should be bringing home ALOT more!



$2800 DH net pay
$400 Your pay
$196 Child Tax and UCCB

= $3396 ($4596 in Feb when you get your Maintenance Grants... not counting any other grants or scholarships that end up going through)



Your monthly expenses are $2610 a month.



That leaves $786 per month left over (or $1986 in Feb).


Simple math shows you are not under or in the red each month.



I am guessing you are not keeping track of what you truly spend. And you stated you have a shopping addiction... so THAT is where you need to start. If you are unable to quit spending money then you may need to seek therapy for it.

Good luck!

[Dandelionkid]

So did you get your combined 50 weeks of maternity leave? It seems a little odd that you are out by 2 months pay. Was there a mistake made somewhere?

[MsVyky]

Sorry, DH works 80+ hours every 2 weeks. Oops. LOL.

I was only eligible for 10 months of leave instead of the usual 12. DH took one month of the parental leave, and due to my ignorance, I didn't apply for my maternity benefits soon enough (I thought I had to wait for all my ROEs to come in before I applies), basically, because I applied a month AFTER DD was born, instead of when I stopped working 3 weeks before.

Maternity benefits are only paid out within 15 weeks of a baby's birth, so they'd have been paying my maternity benefits until she was 19 weeks old, so I lost 4 weeks of the maternity portion of the pay (if that makes sense). So the dat does make sense. Applied for benefits end of November 2009, granted 10 months of benefits, end date End of September 2010. It sucks, but it does add up.

Thysle: I don't keep track of what I spend. Its a terrible habit to have and I am going to try SO HARD to not spend needlessly. It's just so hard to remember when you hand over $1.86 for a cup of tea that at the end of the month it's close to $60!!! :

I tend to think that I underestimated our expenses in the month. I do know that this budget will be tight, but when I see it all laid out like this, it frightens me a little less. Thanks for the reassurance, mamas.

[Ianthe]

You could use an envelope system for things like shopping and eating out.. set yourself a budget of say.. 100 a month, put it in cash in an envelope and that is what you have for the month.. you can keep track of it better that way.. don't use your card for purchases, use the cash in your envelope and once it's gone, it's gone.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by Ianthe

You could use an envelope system for things like shopping and eating out.. set yourself a budget of say.. 100 a month, put it in cash in an envelope and that is what you have for the month.. you can keep track of it better that way.. don't use your card for purchases, use the cash in your envelope and once it's gone, it's gone.

I think this is a great suggestion in your case, MsVyky.

[MsVyky]

I'd agree, but DH actually prefers me to not spend cash. If I use my debit card, we can see exactly where every dollar is spent.

when I have cash it's easier to spend a few bucks here, a few bucks there, etc

[madskye]

I hear you on the debit card, but it sounds like you're not keeping track anyway. Or are you and if so, just be honest about what needs to stop for a few months.

Why not just give yourself a set amount that you can afford each week for miscellaneous expenses (a coffee out or a tea or whatever you put in that category) and when that's gone--it's gone.

[starling&diesel]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

Second I think it really is mostly about figuring out how to avoid temptation. And part of that is finding all the fun free ways to go about things like make sure you're up on all the stuff you can get from your local library, festivals, make plans with people at each other's homes rather than out at restaurants, and so on.

Most importantly: do not shop recreationally. You may find if you have been that you need a new outlet. And you probably want to come up with a holiday budget and plan - a fun one, like challenging your creativity.

First of all, big hugs ... . I know how scary it can be to have the carpet ripped from under you, catching you totally off guard.
Second of all, I think you're doing okay, so don't panic. Take a deep breath, make yourself a cup of tea, take a bath, do whatever it takes (except shopping) to get yourself emotionally grounded.
Thirdly, and most importantly, what GuildJenn said.
It's very easy while on EI to spend your days cruising the shops, having a coffee here and there, going to the mall, or hanging out online perusing the baby 'must-haves.'
Stop all that.
Plan your days so that you don't go anywhere near any shops.
Check out your local free programs for babes, and for new moms.
Your local Health Unit likely has a free drop-in of some kind for babes and moms. Your library probably has a free storytime for babes. Check out your local parks, and arrange playdates at friend's houses rather than going anywhere where you can purchase anything.
Write everything that you DO spend down.
If you're still worrying, you can talk to your bank about deffering a mortgage payment. Some banks will allow new parents (not sure if your babe isn't newborn) to defer payments for a certain amount of time. We deferred four payments, and even though it will add onto our interest in the long run, it allowed us that extra bit of comfort while sorting out our new baby.

Originally Posted by MsVyky

I was only eligible for 10 months of leave instead of the usual 12. DH took one month of the parental leave, and due to my ignorance, I didn't apply for my maternity benefits soon enough (I thought I had to wait for all my ROEs to come in before I applies), basically, because I applied a month AFTER DD was born, instead of when I stopped working 3 weeks before.

If you're planning on more children, I would check into the maternity benefits, and plan to start those first. Depending on your pregnancy, and what you do for work, you can apply for medical EI during your pregnancy, which doesn't affect your 52 weeks of parental leave. Not many people know about this option, but it if fantastic.
At the point at which you're not able to safely/comfortably work anymore, your care provider (midwife or doc) sign a form confirming that fact, and you start medical EI.
I had to stop working at 27 weeks (I'm a paramedic, not able to do the job past that) and was given 10 weeks (DD came at 37 weeks) of Medical EI and then a further 52 weeks of Parental leave.
Makes sense?
I wish more Canadians knew about this.

Best of luck, hon! You'll be fine!

[MsVyky]

Thanks for all the reassurance! DD is 11 mo now (and in daycare ft), and I actually went back to school last month, so I think that this will definitely help with my spending habits- I just don't have time to shop right now, especially now that midterms are just around the corner.

I do totally feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me. Like, Service Canada couldn't have sent that notice week BEFORE the benefits expires, and not the week after? Jerk move, IMO.

[MsVyky]

Originally Posted by madskye

Why not just give yourself a set amount that you can afford each week for miscellaneous expenses (a coffee out or a tea or whatever you put in that category) and when that's gone--it's gone.

I think I am going to give my debit/credit cards to DH and ask him to withdraw me an "allowance" for the time being. I know it won't help me with my issues, but at least it will stop me from spending

I keep telling myself that it's only temporary, but $1k is a LOT of money....

[CarrieMF]

I do totally feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me. Like, Service Canada couldn't have sent that notice week BEFORE the benefits expires, and not the week after? Jerk move, IMO.

It would have said online when the benefits were expiring.