A friend's child got hurt at my house. - Page 2

[NiteNicole]

I agree that this is not your fault. Kids fall. Kids who jump over the back of the sofa fall REALLY hard.

However, if there were two other mothers in the room who knew I was upstairs nursing my child, I would wonder why no one either told him to stop or got him down when he started jumping. Of course, maybe I'm misunderstanding and it wasn't like he was jumping on the sofa and then started to climb, maybe he just went up and over. If I'm the only mom in the room and someone starts climbing furniture, I feel like it's my job to get that someone down, even if I have to go over and physically remove them. But if he just went up and over, that can happen FAST and there's not much you can do about it.

You said you're sorry. I don't know what else you can do. If you were LETTING the kids jump on the sofa and someone got hurt, well - yeah. That was poor judgment. But if a kid just made a run for the sofa and went over the back? We're not Super Moms, most of us are NOT faster than a speeding toddler!

[Norasmomma]

Both my kids are daredevils and they both have been hurt. I guess I would have to just say sorry, and leave it at that. If she's mad that's her own deal. She has 4 kids, I mean haven't ANY of them been hurt before.

I've watched my DD biff her face on the concrete because she had her hands in her pocket, DS has hit his head because he's learning to walk, both have a few bruises right now due to their non-stop go-go personalities.

Sure you can be there, but it doesn't mean you can make them not get hurt. Most of the accidents that have happened to my kids happened when I was right there.

Sorry, I think she needs to chill, and if you lose her as a friend because of this she really doesn't understand.

[rightkindofme]

Dude. Kids get hurt. That's what they do. My daughter is currently in a cast because she fractured her arm during a temper tantrum less than a foot away from me. Festive! Obviously being right there is not enough to prevent injury.

[wookie]

Originally Posted by pigpokey

It's not like you left your hunting knife collection unlocked in the playroom.

yes that would be somewhat suspect and worth getting upset over maybe. OP, maybe your friend just needs some time to process this for herself. let her be and i'll bet she and her ds will be back. poor kid.

[Doodlebugsmom]

Originally Posted by rightkindofme

Dude. Kids get hurt. That's what they do. My daughter is currently in a cast because she fractured her arm during a temper tantrum less than a foot away from me. Festive! Obviously being right there is not enough to prevent injury.

My thought exactly. It's not like even the most strict supervision can prevent an accident.

[momasana]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

I agree that this is not your fault. Kids fall. Kids who jump over the back of the sofa fall REALLY hard.

However, if there were two other mothers in the room who knew I was upstairs nursing my child, I would wonder why no one either told him to stop or got him down when he started jumping. Of course, maybe I'm misunderstanding and it wasn't like he was jumping on the sofa and then started to climb, maybe he just went up and over. If I'm the only mom in the room and someone starts climbing furniture, I feel like it's my job to get that someone down, even if I have to go over and physically remove them. But if he just went up and over, that can happen FAST and there's not much you can do about it.

!

We had JUST come downstairs to the living room where the accident happened. The children weren't playing or jumping on the couch, most ran over to the corner where we keep the toys. It was an up and over thing. I didn't see the incident, but the other mama said that he ran across the couch and then jumped to stradle the back part of the couch but ended up falling over the other side.

Thank you to everyone for your comments. Even though I feel bad that the boy has a black eye, it makes me feel better knowing that I'm not completely in the wrong for thinking that it isn't my or my DS's fault that it happened.

[PoppyMama]

With that update....I would be embarrassed and apologizing that my child ran on someone's couch not blaming a three year old. Maybe she is embarrassed and she's grasping for someone else to blame.

[~Amy~]

Originally Posted by PoppyMama

With that update....I would be embarrassed and apologizing that my child ran on someone's couch not blaming a three year old. Maybe she is embarrassed and she's grasping for someone else to blame.

Yes, that. My two year knows that he shouldn't jump on couches (our own or someone else's). Honestly, the way it sounds, it happened so quickly, I would bet even if his mom was in the room, she wouldn't have gotten to him quickly enough to stop it from happening. Hope she comes around, OP.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by PoppyMama

With that update....I would be embarrassed and apologizing that my child ran on someone's couch not blaming a three year old. Maybe she is embarrassed and she's grasping for someone else to blame.

And by now she's hopefully very embarrassed for grasping for someone else to blame. She's prob'ly just grasping for someone else to blame for that now, since I suppose a simple apology to you, her friend, is way beyond her capabilities. To me, her behavior toward you is a lot worse than her 2 yo just being a 2 yo and making a poor judgment.

I noticed that some posters think the 2 1/2 yo must be this woman's only other child besides the baby, and the OP hasn't contradicted this so maybe this is the case. In which case, she's not exactly the veteran mom I'd assumed she was when I'd understood the OP to say that her four older children had come downstairs to play while she'd stayed upstairs to nurse the baby.

Since the OP hadn't mentioned any multiples, it honestly hadn't occurred to me that the 2 1/2 yo might be the oldest of five children. Maybe this mom really is new to trying to keep up with a toddler while meeting the needs of a new baby.

This is where the sling came in really handy for me when I had my second. It made it easy to nurse my baby while moving around and doing stuff with my then 5 yo -- not that I was too worried about my 5 yo falling over the back of a couch or anything.

Oh well, if a sling doesn't help her then I've also heard about a really good book called Codependent No More.

[pianojazzgirl]

How old is her baby? Maybe she's recently post-partum? Or having a hard time juggling a baby and a toddler? Hormones out of whack? I could see a few reasons why a mom of a newborn (if it is) and toddler might be stressed out, strung out and perhaps more likely to respond in freak-out mama-bear mode, as opposed to with reasoned thinking.

Not that it sounds like you did anything wrong, OP, but (depending on the circumstances of the other mama) I wouldn't get too bent out of shape at her reaction. You handled it fine, and I bet she's already cooled down and likely feeling sheepish about what she said to you.

[choli]

I would take falling and getting a black eye as a natural consequence of jumping and climbing on furniture.

[nextcommercial]

I'm in the "I bet he'll only do that once" camp. I think sometimes kids need to learn the hard way.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by momasana

My friend texted me today saying that her DS had a black eye from the incident. She has said that her DS (2.5 yo) was just following my DS's (3 yo) lead and wasn't familiar with how dangerous the couch and tile were. I think she is pretty upset with me.

Are you sure she's upset with you since it was just a text? I would call her and tell her that you are really sorry her son got hurt, and that you hope it doesn't happen again. I would just sympathize with her about it, but not apologize, or tell her that your ds knows better (that will just rub salt in the wound. If she gets angry with you you can end the call quickly somehow.