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40+ TTC Awesome Autumn for Starting a Baby Thread - Page 12

post #221 of 293
I'm 44 now greensad.gif I still feel like I am in my 30s, maybe my psyche hasn't caught up with myself yet lol.gif

Beachlover, that;'s exciting!!! I wouldn't worry about it too much, levels of hCG vary, and that's why they say the darkness of a test isn't the hugest factor. It is sounding pretty positive for you joy.gif

I hope it works, contactmaya!!

saoirse2007, iI felt so foolish while dipping the FRER, I knew it was a BFN, but my nausea convinced me otherwise.

LROM, How scary!! I'm glad she is ok hug.gif and I am sorry for your loss hug2.gif

Waturmama, I understand the need to reassess, I have done it many times. I hope you gain clarity. I think a good break is what we all need every once in a while, esp when it is something intense (like TTC) and the only way we gain clarity is by stepping back.

afm, I am really feeling like af is almost upon me. Call me crazy though, I have a good feeling about January. In fact, if nothing happens then, I will reassess as well, and probably find some way to drop out of this effort. I don't know how to though, TTC has been a way of life for so long now. How on earth will I drop out? I still don't know.
post #222 of 293

LROM, I am so sorry for your loss... thinking of you tonight.hug2.gif

post #223 of 293

I'm sorry to bum out any 44-year-olds.  : (  I'll be 44 next summer myself....  Remember, the article DID say that some 44-year-olds got pregnant.  And I know someone whose last kid was born when she was 44.


I still think embryo adoption is a neat idea, if you were OK with the idea of IVF in the 1st place.  It would be pretty groovy to be that close to someone you weren't actually related to. 


I have been reading about open adoption again too, an idea I also like a lot.  I have friends who have friends who did an open adoption with a teenager from a fancy, wealthy suburban area, so open adoption does not mean you're going to end up with the baby of some street kid.  (which other friends of mine did do actually, and he also turned out fine) 


I can totally see "my" baby wanting to come down here to be with our family so much that she'd do it even if she had to grow in someone else's body, you know?  (I know someone else who is convinced that her brother's child was actually HER child who was sick of waiting for her to make up her mind about having another kid...she "knew" the baby on sight, and they have a very special aunt-niece bond.)


Lately when I think about adoption I think about people I know who I really like.  I imagine: What if that person was a baby, and I adopted them?  They're pretty cool people and they're not biologically related to me.  Yet I'd love to have them as part of my family.  Or: What if I was the baby, and my friend adopted me?  They'd make a good mommy/daddy, and I know they would love me if I was their kid. 


So I know you don't have to be biologically related to have a close bond -- even closer than people are with their "real" families sometimes.


And I also think about my adopted dog, now deceased, but who was about the greatest person you'll ever meet, and he wasn't even the same SPECIES.  (I actually had a dream once that I gave birth to him, though!)

post #224 of 293

LROM, I'm so so sorry for your loss and for everything you've been through. hug2.gifI can't imagine how hard all of that must have been and how strong you must be. I'm sooo glad to hear your DD is okay. Wishing you and your DH gentle healing.


BeachLover, yay!!! I'm pulling for you and your sticky bean! dust.gif


WaturMama, I'll miss you, too! You have been a wonderful, warm, supportive threadkeeper... the heart of this thread, truly. I hope you know how much you've been appreciated by me and all the other mamas here. I'm glad to know you'll stick around and I hope that if you find good information and/or come to a decision and move forward, you'll share with us. Wishing you clarity and sending you grouphug.gif


Fuller2, I'm really touched by your musings on adoption... it's so true that some of the dearest people in my life I'm not related to biologically. We simply found each other and it seems that we were meant to share our lives. I imagine our children can find us the same way.


AFM, the painters arrived today, and I also learned that a friend at work is pregnant... we've been TTC buddies IRL, and I knew it would be faster and easier for her because she's in her mid 30's. When I first heard the news, my heart kind of wilted... but I recovered quickly and was able to share in her joy. Somehow just being on the same path felt good and right. DH said that we are like the orphans in the John Irving novel Cider House Rules, waiting for our adoptive families to come take us home... when one of us gets adopted and others are left behind, it's bittersweet. I did console myself with a chocolate fertility smoothie and a teeny bit of retail therapy (trip to my local recycled clothing store). redface.gif

post #225 of 293

Litmama, did you decide to get the ferning microscope? Both of mine broke ...i miss checking out my ferning patterns :-(

 As for the 'wilted heart' feeling.  I know what you mean. But  im really grateful that i dont feel jealousy  of friends around me with babies, or pregnant.  I think its because i was the one with the new baby not long ago.  


Anyway, just did my 2nd jab of gonal f.


Im much more confident after i read that hyperprolactinemia, ie, elevated level of prolactin, can make a woman resistant to clomid (or soy which has the same effect) Since im breastfeeding, well...high levels of prolactin....so maybe my ovaries will respond better to direct fsh. I have researched the safety of this too, there's a thread on the 'infertility' section)


 Still, im thinking ahead about the donor embryo option. I just wanted to clarify that i would feel completely comfortable with adoption, and would love to make another little one, biologically related or not, part of my family. That is why i cant figure out why i feel a little scared of the donor embryo option...maybe its bringing out my grief that i can no longer bear a naturally conceived child...i dont know...maybe its because it means giving up the relationship with my donor (donor sperm) who i feel very comfortable with, and whose sperm would  make my child a full sibling with my other children, i dont know....   


Im bringing this discussion here, because i know some of us are looking into options in addition to natural conception.



post #226 of 293
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post

Im bringing this discussion here, because i know some of us are looking into options in addition to natural conception.



Ahem, if anybody wants to talk about unnatural conception I'm here for ya. hide.gif I can certainly support everyone in their decisions and efforts.

Seriously tho Maya, I look at my babe every day and don't give a hill of beans where that one strand of DNA came from, and it hasn't been a picnic. Georgia has club foot and 2 cystic fibrosis genes (we don't know yet if they are disease-causing). I just don't care, but that's me. We looked into adoption but at our age, if you want a baby, good luck! And it's grossly expensive too. We actually may look into adoption in the future... we've heard there are many LOs in China with club foot sitting in the orphanages, waiting for parents. That is where my mind goes...


Hope you're doing well with the shots, Ouch! btdt.

post #227 of 293

Ugh... I'm spotting. :-(

post #228 of 293
Originally Posted by mamamerle View Post

Ugh... I'm spotting. :-(

That must be scary hug.gif I hope it's just normal pregnancy spotting.
post #229 of 293

You're in my thoughts mamamerle.  hug.gif

post #230 of 293
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

That must be scary hug.gif I hope it's just normal pregnancy spotting.

I don't usually spot during pregnancy. greensad.gif. And now the cramping has started. DH is staying up with the munchkin... I'm going to bed.

However, I am trying to be optimistic that we did get pregnant without fertility meds! That has to count for something, right? It's a hollow victory.
post #231 of 293

hug.gif I hope it's just normal spotting. Best to you.

post #232 of 293

 ((Hugs))) Mammerle.  Holding you in my thoughts...

post #233 of 293

Thinking of you, mamamerle hug2.gif

post #234 of 293

Thinking of you too mamamerlehug2.gif  


Buzzerbeater, thanks for your words of support.


The gonal f is giving me back my egg white! Yay! But its only cd8... ideally,  it will just continue until the time is right. Its nice to see it back again.


A friend of mine in her 50's is approaching menopause, and says shes getting ewcm every day....


Anyone here care to share their experience with injectibles and  its impact on ewcm? 


post #235 of 293

Maya, I'm glad things are going well with your Gonal F! When I was using Menupur and then Bravelle, I did have a teensy bit more ewcm. Still not copious amounts, but definitely present (which is unusual for me -- since turning 40, my fertile fluid is more watery than egg-whitey). It also came early, as it is for you. But I also tend to ovulate early, as early as cd10.


Mamamerle, How are you doing? Good thoughts coming your way...


AFM, yesterday both my surgeon and my TCM practitioner recommended we take a month off TTC so I can heal from my upcoming surgery (and be able to take Rx drugs if I develop an infection or need painkillers). My surgeon actually recommended we take a few months off (no way!). The surgery and recovery are a little more intense than I had thought. DH and I are both bummed, and not 100% ready to follow that advice. We shall see.


Happy Friday to all!

post #236 of 293

I appreciate all the good thoughts! grouphug.gif  The spotting has stopped. I tested again this morning and it's still a strong pos.gif ! I'll have blood drawn Monday and Wednesday as scheduled.


contactmaya - I don't remember any change in ewcm with Gonal-F, but I do believe that is a big part of what gave us our little munchkin. Best of luck! thumbsup.gif


LitMama - sometimes a break is what you do need even if you don't want to. I've been in your shoes. hug2.gif

post #237 of 293


Originally Posted by mamamerle View Post

I appreciate all the good thoughts! grouphug.gif  The spotting has stopped. I tested again this morning and it's still a strong pos.gif ! I'll have blood drawn Monday and Wednesday as scheduled.

Sooo happy to hear this!!!!joy.gif

post #238 of 293
Yay mamamerle!! joy.gif I am sooo happy and relieved that your spotting stopped!

I am on cd34 into a normal clockwork for years 29 day cycle (sometimes 30 days) I got BFN on a FRER earlier this week. I know it is nothing, but I can't seem to get a little excited every time af is not there when I check.
post #239 of 293
BelovedK, will you test again? If a few days have passed since you tested, then maybe it'd show now? Mamamerle, so glad to hear the spotting stopped. I hope everything goes smoothly from here on. I just wanted to let everyone know I had my scan yesterday and it showed a lovely little person incubating away...It is measuring 8weeks 1 day (1 day out from my calculations). Heartbeat of 157 bpm. So pleased to see it, and it looks good. However the ultrasonographer discovered a large cyst (8cm!) on my left ovary.It has me concerned, but there's nothing I can do.I'll see my doctor on Thursday and we'll talk about it then. I have read about having surgery during pregnancy to remove them, but I really wouldn't want to go there! I guess they'll monitor it with ultrasound. has anyone else had experience with ovarian cysts?
post #240 of 293
Thread Starter 

Mamamerle, so glad to hear the spotting stopped and yay two dark lines!!


gumblossom, joy.gifto a little person growing with a heartbeat.gif. That is wonderful. I don't know anything about the cysts. May there smooth solution.


Thanks for all the good wishes and sweet acknowledgment. It means a lot to me. fuller2 I appreciated your thoughts on adoption. Buzzer Beater I think you can stand on the chair rather than speak from under it about all the options. I think that is part of 40+ TTC in 2010-going-on-2011. I appreciate hearing about all the experiences and may be asking you some questions soon.


I saw my TCM person this week and she reiterated how good my fertility looks and reminded me there is the whole "larger than us" factor. Contemplating seems like the right place to be for me.

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