Oh, Gumblossom, I'm so very sorry
40+ TTC Awesome Autumn for Starting a Baby Thread - Page 15
BuzzerBeater, I'm so happy you'll be our new threadkeeper, thank you! I like your goddess idea, too.
- 236 Posts. Joined 1/2008
- Location: Boise, Idaho
- Select All Posts By This User
Oh Gumblossom, I am so, so sorry. My condolences... Sending healing blessings to you & your family.
Gumblossom, I am so very sorry. Ouch that you saw the heartbeat and then it went. (((hug)))
Gumblossom, I wanted to add, let us know what happens and how you are doing (if that is supportive). More (((hug))).
And let us know how your family is doing, too. It sounds like your little ones are wonderful, I hope that as they process this, they'll also be able to bring you comfort and support. Thinking of you!
- 3,455 Posts. Joined 10/2006
- Location: Milwaukie, OR
- Select All Posts By This User
Hi, Mamas! I haven't been in here in ages, so before I update, I just want to to everyone here. And some too, because I know sometimes we need both.
Some of you may remember me from last fall/spring - I had a m/c at 11 weeks (babe actually didn't make it past 8w) last Oct., and got a BFP in mid-March, at the age of 41. Well, Paige Marie arrived a wee bit early on November 5th! I ended up having a c-section. So far from my planned gentle home water birth! But I didn't have a choice - I had an anterior placenta previa. I did manage to hold off the birth until 37 weeks and 1 day (the docs wanted closer to 36), as I didn't want DD to be labeled "pre-mature" or have to go to the NICU automatically. As it was, she was both heavier and longer (7lb1oz and 20.5 inches) than DS, who was born vaginally at 38.5 weeks via an induction for pre-e.
Paige is healthy and sweet, although she doesn't smile yet (nearly 8 weeks) and we have a hard time keeping DS from being aggressive toward her. Actually he alternates - sometimes very quickly - between affection and aggression, which possibly makes it harder.
I am still dealing with the failings of my body. Although it seems I am able to conceive easily, esp. given my age (4 natural pregnancies between ages 37 & 41), I can not safely birth them without medical help. A small issue in the long run in this day and age, but it still hurts. I especially grieve the loss of my home birth, as everything except the placenta was perfect. DD was even in the perfect position for a fast and safe vaginal birth. I do not know why I had previa, or why the placenta didn't shift (given that only the edge covered the cervical os at 19 weeks, we really expected it to "move" up as the pregnancy progressed, but it never budged).
Anyway...natural birth and a safe and healthy pregnancy are within your reach! All of us "40+ TTC" graduates are proof. I do hope you all get your babies soon!!
Karen, thanks for updating us and showing us pictures of your lovely Paige. Your family looks lovely!
I know too the pain of a "failing" body- I had my birth tub in the garage and loved my midwife, but I ended up with a cc/sec due to pre-e, low fluid, and a breech babe to boot at 37 weeks. I have to keep in mind the beautiful babe(s- first was a c/sec also) I did succeed in growing... I still have the desire to feel a natural labor and delivery...
Thanks for the hugs!
Thank you for stopping by, Karen, and for the photo link. Paige is so beautiful! That sleeping photo is so precious. Amazing that she was 7lb1oz at 37 weeks! Yay to you for getting her to that point so you could avoid the NICU. Good wishes in processing the birth experience--I both hope you find gifts in the process and am sorry you didn't get it the way you wished for.
- 17,098 Posts. Joined 6/2005
- Location: wandering around.... with an aim.
- Select All Posts By This User
I am confused. I looked up impending menopause, and read the the cycles first get closer together with earlier O and very short LP, then they get longer, with some O cycles, and then anovulatory cycles with sustained low temps, and then eventually they just stop.
My temps are sustained high, my usual post O temps, but I am not pregnant. I am not sure what is going on.
Someone in another thread told me that my chances are in the single digits, and it I got meds, 20-30% chance. I am feeling very right now. Both of my SD are pregnant, and I guess it is time for me to just give up the dream. I cannot afford a RE, and it is not covered on my insurance, so, I guess I should just face it, and stop even dreaming.
I am feeling so bad right now and confused about my temps (I will be back with a chart. The chart is messed up because I didn't start temping until like cd11, and have not temped every day, but the temps I have now, are usual for me post O.
- 1,409 Posts. Joined 2/2006
- Select All Posts By This User
BelovedK, i believe a cyst can explain those symptoms. I am dreading that myself. I have high progesterone and symptoms of pregnancy now (constant hunger, high temps) A cyst emits progesterone too, but sometimes it doesnt stop and the end of the luteal phase, and just keeps going. In fact, those darn cysts can really mimic pregnancy. I only know this from googling, so take it with a grain of salt.
I know what you mean about giving up the dream. I have given up almost all hope myself, but am just trying whatever options are left, with the attitude that it probably wont work. When i first started ttc 10 months ago, i was shocked each time i didnt get pregnant. The pregnancy thing felt like my reality. But now, it seems like it will never happen. Donor embryo is my next option if this doesnt work.
AFM right now, i have this constant tummy rumbling, especially when i wake up in the middle of the night. Aversion to some foods i usually like, craving for salty food especially. Constantly cooking and eating. Tummy rumbling comes back not long after actually eating.
Was supposed to test this morning, but i forgot. Tomorrow will be 10dpo.
Karen, congratulations on your beautiful babe! Thank you so much for stopping by to share the news and photos with us. Paige and your whole family are just beautiful! I'm so sorry your birth was not the one you had dreamed of, I know that must be really hard. Thank you so much for the post -- it's really meaningful and inspiring to hear from a mama on the other side of this journey
BelovedK, I'm really feeling your hurt right now. Re: the weird cycle... I agree it could be cyst messing with your hormones and cycle... I get them pretty frequently (had them more when I was younger for some reason) and they do pump out their own hormones and create a whonky cycle.
About the statistics, ugh. I know every woman has her own way of dealing with these, but what has worked well for me is to reframe them. For what it's worth (and forgive me if I'm preaching to the choir here), here's my thinking about that: First of all, if 5% of women our age are getting pregnant, that means some of us ARE getting pregnant (and the "graduates" of this board are proof). It seems logical to me that that 5% are the women who are taking care of their fertility through TCM, diet, supplements, mind-body awareness and stress reduction, etc.
Also, those numbers come from a western paradigm, which is not the only way of looking at it. The TCM view of fertility is that a woman is capable of becoming pregnant from menarche to menopause... any trouble conceiving before actual menopause (including during peri) isn't called "infertility" but sometimes "subfertility" and is a hormonal imbalance that can be re-balanced. The balancing takes times, which is part of why this journey can be so long. Randine Lewis also acknowledges that our 40-something-year-old eggs are not as healthy as they were 10 years ago, but she says that is only ONE factor (and in the western view, "poor egg quality" feels like the ONLY factor, like a death sentence, even), and we have control over the other factors that go into successful conception and pregnancy. She also says we have some control over the development of our eggs during their 150-day journey from oocyte to maturity. I know you probably already know all of this, but I'm telling you again because I know it helps me to have a pep talk once in a while! I know an RE isn't financially realistic, but are you already trying acupuncture, Chinese herbs, dietary changes, mind-body stuff, etc.? (And have you read The Infertility Cure? Healing with Whole Foods? Inconceivable?) If not, I highly recommend a community acupuncture clinic, where they have sliding fee scales based on your income (or on the honor system): http://www.communityacupuncturenetwork.org/
More thoughts on statistics... I also wonder what sample of the population those statistics are drawn from. Whoever is collecting this data isn't surveying the entire population of women in the US. And maybe that sample is skewed or non-representative in some way. And another unrelated but more positive note on statistics... Randine Lewis claims something like a 70% success rate for women who use the Fertile Soul method! I wish I could afford to attend one of her retreats, but I'm trying to put the pieces together in my own way (sliding-scale acu, lots of reading on diet and supps, doing the acupuressure/breathing/massage/warming techniques described in her book, and currently trying to find a sliding-scale therapist so I can talk through any emotional blockages that may be making it hard to conceive).
Take care and hang in there!
Edited by LitMama - 12/30/10 at 2:09pm
Happy New Year everyone...
Would anyone like to share plans for the new year? I didn't make a single resolution.