40+ TTC Awesome Autumn for Starting a Baby Thread - Page 3

[Buzzer Beater]

Hi ladies, stopping in to say hello to everyone.

ContactMaya I have my fingers crossed for you! Hi LitMama, WaterMama, lovebeingamommy! I'm thinking of you too. Wondering if I'll be back on this board one day hoping... is it crazy completely to want another at my age, with my ovaries? I know we can't afford to do egg donor again. Hell we couldn't afford it the first time. But I got my PPAF, then tons of ewcm this month. What a tease, I know my ovaries are cold and dark, right? Anyway, DH doesn't want another and is quite sure we won't get pg (um assuming we start BD again. Oh and bookwormommy- inseminating is for sure baby dancing, just a different drummer!)
fuller2- if you ever do get really interested in embryo donation I can put you in contact with a woman who may be able to help. Since I did egg donation last year I've found out there are a shoot-ton of couples in this country who have completed their families and fretting over what to do with leftover embryos. And assuming there is nothing physically wrong with your uterus, you can do a natural FET cycle. I think most women opt for the meds as insurance ie thick uterine lining and progesterone supplementing. It's not as bad as it sounds.

[contactmaya]

Hi Buzzerbeater-what a tease hey? I say, go for it.

Actually, i would be very interested myself in contacting people with donor embryos. I mean, i am closer to 44 now, than 43, so i am keeping my options open.

I got my period, day 16 (possibly 15, if i miscalculated O date)

Maybe i dont need progesterone supplementation anymore....cool (other possibilities, cancer, cycst, menopause, insanity,etc etc)
Maybe my LP was always at 15/16 days. How would i know? I never heard of the term until i was nursing a 9month old fulltime and thinking about ttc no.2. Never got my LP back when ttc no.2 because i nabbed it in the first cycle and was taking progesterone then.
Now ttc3, well, its been so long since i started, my lp seems to have crept back by itself.

I just find, that being 'older', makes you second guess everything, It cant be just my LP coming back to normal, no, its gotta be something wrong, its gotta be menopause right? I even found something on the internet, that says older women get longer LPs. Sorry, that doesnt make sense. Approaching menopause usually causes shorter cycles. Anovulation might make for a longer cycle overall because it takes longer to ovulate, but why should it cause a longer LP?

Im happy to be corrected.

Lets all get pregnant and defy the odds shall we? I mean i did it at 37 and 40. .....

Gosh, now is the time i am building my family. I have two beautiful kids, and i love how they play together. Just want to add one ore to the mix while im in full swing. I didnt want babies at 24 or 34 (when i m sure my LP was fine, and my ewcm was fine) Im ready now.
:-)

[LitMama]

Hi everyone

WaturMama, so glad that you and your family love your new home

Bookwormommy, I love the idea of your mother-daughter trip to disneyland, even if isn't very crunchy! I can relate to both the desire to do that, as well as the anxieties about it. Do it now while you DD is still into all that stuff... my DD is 10 now and is very down on princesses, barbies, etc. (I'm happy I did a good job of instilling a healthy sense of skepticism and critical thinking skills around that, but it means she won't go anywhere near disneyland!). You can always have fun and still build teachable moments into the trip.

Maya, thank you for the anti-progesterone venting on my behalf! Yay for your 16 day LP!! I can completely relate to your feeling about being ready NOW for the family. I feel the same way...

Fuller2, your exploration of embryo adoption is very intriguing... will you share the info you learn with the board? If DH and I end up adopting, I do like the idea of still carrying that child, giving birth, breastfeeding, etc.

Gumblossom, sounds like a positive report from Jamie! I'm wishing for that for you, too!

BuzzerBeater, nice to see you here! How is life with your wee one? You never know what your ovaries are up to... I wonder if the hormonal shifts of pregnancy, breastfeeding, etc. can change things?

AFM, I'm on CD2 and had some very bad news today, and am feeling pretty devastated. It's a feeling I can't really indulge in right now, though, because we have family here for the weekend. So, my cyst is still there, huge as ever, after 2 cycles. And, I only have 3 follicles. My RE cancelled our round of injectables and IUI for the next three months. With only 3 follicles, I'm not a good candidate for anything, not IUI or IVF (were we to try that this month). He suggested I spend the next 3 months working on improving egg quality and quantity and then try again in January, most likely going straight to IVF. He put me on DHEA (25 mg. 3 x per day, for at least 8 weeks). He told me to Google "dhea ivf barad" as there was a study done by a Dr. named Barad who had success using DHEA to improve egg production in women doing IVF. He also encouraged me to move forward with Chinese herbs and do some serious stress reduction. I also need to look back through this thread at all the supplements the rest of you are doing, and get serious about researching those and deciding which I will try.

My life is very stressful right now because of a lot of things that are beyond my control (the custody battle, etc.)... I can't change my circumstances, so I have to change my response to them or I will never produce enough follicles to be an ART candidate! I can see that I really need to get very serious about stress reduction... which has just felt like an investment of time and money I don't have (yoga classes? meditation at the local zen center? forget it! I can barely take care of the basics) but now I see that I just have to make it non-negotiable. So, I'm looking for a support group for women dealing with fertility issues, and also thinking about prioritizing things like yoga and meditation.

I just came home from the library with copies of The Fertility Diet and the Infertility Cure. What do you wise women think of these books? My TCM practitioner comes back from vacation next week and is going to create an herbal plan for me. I suppose I should feel good about having a plan in place for all of these things (DH does) but right now I just feel discouraged. I feel frustrated that DH continues on in his optimistic way, refusing to feel discouraged. I'm trying to reframe that disconnect in a positive way... I like to think we are complementing and balancing one another.

Do you all think we move through some sort of grief stages / continuum on this journey? I think until today I have been in shock and denial... refusing to believe that my body could have changed without my consent! I'm not sure where I am now, but today I feel angry. I need to get to acceptance!

[lovbeingamommy]

Buzzer Beater Glad that you stopped by and thanks for thinkin' of me. We're still ttc naturally (can't really afford any other way right now.)

I heard Celine had her twins today. I know she's early 40's and dh is a lot older, but I don't know if it was natural or not. Anyone know? My guess would be no since she had twins. Also wondering about Kelly Preston, 47, especially considering their beliefs, I'm curious here too.

[gumblossom]

Litmama, I so sorry you had such devastating news. I really feel for you. I suppose I haven't had any testing etc done because i don't want to hear anything like that. I suppose I'm in denial in a way, but I know we will never do ART, so it's best just to try all the alternatives I can.

I love "The Infertility Cure", it is one of my favourite books and I've read it over and over. It was that book that got me interested in acupuncture. I go to acupuncture regularly.I find it very relaxing and it helps with my stress levels. I also try to do yoga at home (using a dvd or utube) and that helps my stress levels too. I'm drinking herbal teas that include nettles and red clover, taking numerous supplements and a super green drink with maca and colloidal minerals too. I take EPO and green tea to help with a lack of cervical mucus (not much change there though) and drink freshly squeezed grapfruit juice too.

So I'm trying it all. Maybe one of those things, or a combination, will help, maybe not, but at least I know I will have given it my best shot.

I've heard really good things about the DHEA. I hope it helps. Do you know if it has any side effects?

Lovingbeingamommy, I also wonder about Kelly Preston. I would have thought that they would persue IVF, but not sure how that sits with Scientology?

Litmama, I think it's perfectly normal to go through grief stages, it is a hard road to journey down....

I'm praying we all get our precious little babies - defy the odds and the statistics.These little babies will be the most loved...

[Kristin0105]

Litmama, I know you are not happy about the news from your doctor but it sounds like he is a keeper. Dhea? TCM? He sounds like he knows what he is doing and is willing to try to improve things. How great is that? I really like The Infertility Cure. My TCM told me Randine has caused TCM providers to get a bit of lash-back from the RE's because she says her rates of success are better than theirs. But she also said RL gets greater results during her retreats than they can get in the clinic. Which I found interesting. She says they do a lot of counseling etc.. and it helps change mindsets etc... I would so like to go to a retreat with her but they are super $$$ in my estimation (for my budget).

Gumblossom I agree our little one's would be the most wanted, loved children ever. I try not to pay attention to statistics because I am an individual and I don't think statistics apply when you are dealing with individual lives. My TCM provider told me that she had gone to a training with someone who said their research had shown that, with regard to fertility, age is just a number not the deciding factor. Sure it won't work for everyone but I choose to believe it can happen and try to do what I can to be as healthy as possible. I find swimming everyday really helps reduce my stress ALOT.

Litmama you should be able to find yoga or tai chi videos on you tube.

I am 8 dpo and yesterday developed very sensitive breasts BUT I am pretty sure it's the progesterone cream. I am hoping for more than that because they are more sensitive than normal but I am trying to be realistic. Our timing was off this month, I was taking some herbs for a cough, unfortunately they dried up all my CM. I have been sick for weeks and weeks. So I think our chances are slim. But I do hold out a slim hope. My EDD for this cycle is the day before my sister's birthday. We do not get along at all and I think she's not a very nice person so I figure it would be just my luck that I would have a baby on her birthday. I wouldn't complain at all but it made me chuckle and maybe cringe a little.

[lovbeingamommy]

Originally Posted by gumblossom

Lovingbeingamommy, I also wonder about Kelly Preston. I would have thought that they would persue IVF, but not sure how that sits with Scientology?

I know, that's my burning question because I'm fairly certain they're strong followers of Scientology. I also read by the time her baby is born she'll be 48!! I guess stories like this, especially if it's a natural pregnancy, give me so much hope.

[LitMama]

Thank you, Kristin and Gumblossom

Gumblossom, I'm glad to hear you loved Randine's book, and thank you so much for sharing your list of supplements! I think there's a lot of wisdom in choosing not to test as well as in avoiding ART. I really see now how much stress this has created in my life, and I'm glad to know you can avoid this. There's a much gentler path...

Kristin, thank you for your perspective on the relative merits of my RE! You're right... despite my irritation with his western perspective, he is pretty open to a holistic path as well. Probably good to keep him in my back pocket.

I'm feeling much better now... I'm a few chapters into The Infertility Cure and this book is making me feel hopeful again. In fact, I feel relieved to be taking a break from ART and feeling that I can now fully explore TCM and holistic fertility. Next up, Julia Indichova's books, Inconceivable and The Fertile Female. She also has a Fertile Heart workshop coming to my area next month, it's spendy ($245) but I'm considering checking it out. Does anyone know her work and whether there is a connection to Randine Lewis' Fertile Soul retreats? I would love to attend a Fertile Soul retreat, but they are way beyond my budget, as well. (I know that sounds weird, given that we've been shelling out for ART... something to think about).

So, the other book I mentioned in my earlier post, The Fertility Diet, may not be so great. I've read a number of reviews that claim the study was not well designed, and that there are a number of inconsistencies within the book. On the other hand, most of the recommendations in the book turn out to be no-brainers and things I'm sure all of us on this board are doing anyway ("don't drink sugary sodas"... duh!).

[WaturMama]

Hi everyone! I've been so busy, it was a long hiatus for me here.

Litmama. I feel like I missed something. Last I remember you had good news about follicles. I am so sorry you had that news, that sounds tough on top of everything. I am impressed with how you getting back up and looking for ways to make things better. I hope you (and all of us) defy the odds soon.

fuller2, I am intrigued by the embryo adoption, too. If nothing else it is good to know there are options.

Buzzerbeater!! Great to see you here. How is life with your little one? Congrats on PPAF w/ewcf!

Contactmaya, congrats on the prog-free 15-day lp! That is very promising.

AFM, I'm on CD11, trying to get back in the habit of temping and so far failing. I started having ewcf 2 days after I finished spotting from AF. And it has gone on 4 days, now! That is early and different and though it seems good, it has me a little worried somehow.

[2bpeaceful]

Pregnant Mama checking in

Hello all-
This was the forum most helpful to me while TTC--posting, lurking, reading success stories, identifying with the hopes, fears, living with the losses....
Not only do we have our own internal process to deal with, we have "society" telling us that we are advanced maternal age, too old, high risk, not much chance, blah blah BLAH.

I am 41. I will be 42 when this baby is born. I had a loss last year, then tried again for 3 cycles using the Clearblue Easy monitor, the Instead cup, False Unicorn root and Vitex tinctures, B-6, EPO, lots of hope, and still made an appointment at the RE just in case. I got my BFP and have been holding my breath ever since...and it's 27 weeks later!!

Nuchal came back perfect and I still had an amnio...came back fine too.

I can feel the kicking now..it's a boy, btw.
Sending you all hugs, and encouragement.
-Tricia

[WaturMama]

2bpeaceful!! That is wonderful news!! . How is the being pregnant part going? Sending happy pregnancy wishes.

I'm curious what you did with the Instead cup. Use it after BD to keep the swimmers where you wanted them?

[contactmaya]

2bpeaceful, congratulations on the good news, and on your pregnancy! Nice to hear from you.
Litmama, sorry to hear about the cyst. Does it actually prevent you from getting pregnant? Some of the alterantive protocols sound very promising. In a way, it must be kind of relief to take it easy for 3 mths....

Me, daring to take soy again, only 25mg a day though, days 5-9. Im not particularly optimistic, its more of an experiment, trying to get back my ewcm. I ordered preseed...

Im thinking about the donated embryo thing, but it kind of scares me for some reason...im just letting it simmer....

The stages of grief thing....i dont know. I open my yahoo mail which has a picture of me and my newborn ds1. Sometimes it just makes me cry. Other times, nothing. He was so cute, still is (he's 5 now)

Buzzerbeater, your baby is so cute. :-)

[Buzzer Beater]

Thanks contactmaya... we're so digging her!
Litmama I also think you've got a great RE. Having dealt with them recently I know they can be dismissive of anything that's not hard "science". I'm sorry about your cyst. I know I went through some grief stages letting go of my chances to conceive with my own eggs while we did ART- but I couldn't leave it to chance that my DH might not have his own child. So now, heck, can't I dream again? It's hard knowing that at least one month I had an FSH of 18 and no follicles. Does a body come back from that? If I have hope at all will I just end up grieving again?

I'm on CD4, second ppaf, and this has been the worst period ever- headache which I never get, very heavy flow (all my life I've had 36 hour pantiliner periods) and cramps. Does anybody know if it means anything? I've heard of women's hormones getting sort of kickstarted after IVF... any stories or tips?

[Kristin0105]

Buzzerbeater so glad to see you hear. Glad you are enjoying your little one so much. as for the ppaf I know my periods after pregnancy were really heavy, with terrible headaches, and mood swings. I found heavy doses of fish oil helpful. TCM helped when my cycle went out of whack. You know the human body is an amazing organism and I truly believe anything is possible. And while you had one cycle with a FSH of 18 with no follicles that does not mean you are done. Start charting and see if you are ovulating. Be healthy and see what happens. If you have not read it Julia Indichova writes in her book Inconceivable that her FSH was 30 the month she conceived her daughter. I look at it this way I need to be as healthy as possible to conceive but I also need to be as healthy as possible for the child I do have. So it's win win.

2bpeacefull congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

[2bpeaceful]

Instead cup

Waturmama, you guessed correctly about the Instead cup. I popped that guy in right after BD (without getting up) and left it in for at least 12 hours. A few times I also filled the cup with Slippery Stuff because my EWCM was pretty much not happening, and Slippery Stuff and PreSeed have the same chemical formulation...

Being pregnant this time is wonderful and surreal. I am exhausted and have slept most of this pregnancy and can hardly believe that I am in my third trimester. I have to be honest, I resisted posting on any of the boards (including DDC) because I was so afraid of a loss and the disappointment. So far, so good.

This thread really does feel like "home", and I am happy to see some familiar names and hopeful for everyone.

[Buzzer Beater]

Kristin where do I go for a tutorial on charting? Never done it. And can I temp without my DH knowing it? He's not on board yet, especially after seeing me with preeclampsia and a c/sec.

Question: does charting tell you that you have actually ovulated, or that your body is trying to ovualte, sorry so dumb?

[lovbeingamommy]

Congratulations, Tricia!!!

[gumblossom]

Hi Buzzer - charting will tell you when you have ovulated - a temperature rise indicates that you are producing progesterone, which will indicate that ovulation has happened. If you want to, using opk's will give you a heads up that ov will happen in the next 48 hours.

After charting for a few months, you get to see a pattern, so that can help predict when O will take place too. Charting is good for keeping an eye on you LP too. I have found charting to be incredibly educational and has helped me to understand my cycle so much better. Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler is a great book if you want to try charting.

Congratulations 2bpeaceful. How exciting for you.

[Kristin0105]

Buzzer Beater What gumblossom said. I learned about charting by reading all the info. on fertilityfriend.com they have tutorials etc.. It's really quite simple. Buy a basal body thermometer I have tried several cheap ones and my current fav. is from Walgreens the other's from Wally world died or gave whonky results. The Walgreens one just has to be left in for 3 minutes after it beeps Once you get your thermometer you just take your temperature every morning as soon as you wake up, before you move, think, or get up to pee. Then enter it into a chart. The chart can be on paper, or on line I like fertility friend it's free, idiot proof, takes seconds, and it is easy to read the chart. You will quickly get a picture of what is going on.

Will your hubby know? Well that depends. I temp. vaginally so the thermometer is not evident and it's under the covers so I can't really hear the beeping. You could always use a glass basal thermometer so no beeping digital to deal with. But if you are laying in bed every morning, taking your temp, and recording everything in front of him he may wonder what you are doing. You could always tell him you are taking your temperature as part of a research project your own.

Well, I was so hopeful this month. My breasts have been very sore and I was so hoping it was a sign that I might really be pregnant. But last night I had some spotting and my breasts were not as sore, this am more spotting and no sore breasts. Then came the real sign I left someone a not so nice message on their machine when I had no intention of doing so. When they called back I was able to keep my cool until then I burst into tears and yeah have been crying on an off all morning. I have a lot of little stressors right now but I usually don't cry over this stuff. So yeah I think AF is right around the corner.

I have not had time to swim for the past two weeks and that is surely not helping. Trying not to be disappointed about AF but really how hard can it be to come up with just one good egg occasionally? Just one, that's all I want one good egg to make a sweet little baby with. I think it just sucks there are so many people who have babies they don't want children, or who are crappy parents. And I so want a baby and while not perfect, I think I am a pretty darn good Mommy most days. Blah so much for all the good karma I have always tried to cast forth. I need a baby fairy to grant me a wish or two. We keep having little crisis that are eating into my very small ART fund I had set aside, so my chances of even trying any assistive technology are pretty much nil at this point. Not the greatest of mornings. Okay, sorry for the mood. I think I'll go back to cleaning my house and baking for Saturday's Halloween party. I am truly a lucky woman and have no reason to complain.

[contactmaya]

Hello everyone.
Kristin, sorry about impending af, but there may still be hope there.
Buzzer, I wouldn’t worry about post partum periods being out of whack. That is totally normal, especially if you are nursing. Typically, it is not a real period actually, but estrogen withdrawl bleeding, which can be heavy and irregular. Your body is trying to ovulate, but the prolactin from nursing is repressing it. Body keeps trying-thus patches of ewcm, with spikes of estrogen, which then drop again.
Eventually, you will succeed in ovulating, but will probably have a short luteal phase.

Actually, given your age, (yeah, that age thing) all of this is a very good sign so early in your post partum life. I know one woman who simply never had another period after having a baby at 42. Myself, with both ds1 and 2, my period came back at 13mths pp. I had an estrogen withdrawl period at 7mths pp with ds1.

Charting-get Taking Charge of your Fertility, and go to Fertility Friend.com. (as per what pps said)

Charting may be hard whilst night nursing because you need at least 3 hours of straight sleep. But you can still do it for fun. I like charting.

You need to establish ovulation with a temp shift upwards of at least 2 degrees ( I think)…..