CI Mama, I feel the same way about most activity. I need to run or dance or do something strenuous. I am craving that high. That physical release. I'm also known for pushing way too hard. I'm holding out still, but I feel like I'm chomping on the bit.
Canadianne and AustinMom, big huge
I feel the same way. The surgery went without a hitch, but that horrible botched epidural, seeing and feeling ds crashing and having to go into surgery....it was one of those 'not so good births. And people do have a hard time reacting to it. Since, well, baby is healthy, so why are we 'complaining'. Kwim?
Right now, mentally, I go back and forth on having more kids. I don't know. One moment when I'm feeling great, sure why not, even if they have to be another *shudder* c/s. Then, during the low moments, I FREAK. OUT. The thought of potentially another super painful labor (this last one was worse than the pitocin induced one), failing it, and going through another c/s. Dealing with the anesthesia.... I just, I just can't.
The thing is, I'm not done having babies. If only I could be pregnant and then have a newborn with someone else doing the birth.
My moods seem to swing wildly a lot. One moment I am fine, planning some fun stuff to do, another nothing looks like fun, everything is overwhelming, I'm questioning my life purpose, I feel like 'motherhood' is over, etc.
It's exhausting. And makes me feel like I'm going crazy.
Therapy is helping, although I'm only 3 sessions in. I just want to feel like myself again. I want to regain the confidence I used to have in my body. I just want to feel better and really be able to enjoy this period of my boys' life. Rather than being a moody, weepy, then 'normal' mama.
I can't read about birth or pregnancy or young babies either. It sparks too many 'bad' thoughts. I tried to read Plains of Passage, and I just can't, because I keep going over Ayla's painful birth and stuff in the previous books. Even though so far, nothing of that nature is in the book.
What type of light fluff reading is there that doesn't involve death, pregnancies, births, babies? What light fluff movies are there with these requirements?
Of course, as a good distraction technique, I've decided to redo my wardrobe. I barely have anything, since I was losing weight pre-Elias, and I am not willing to stretch my maternity wear even further. These items were things I bought way back when I was pregnant with Joseph/Stephen. 4 years of the same clothes.
And since I'm fashion challenged, this means I have to research and read and focus tons of mental activity on this task.