Thank you for sharing this blog. It brought tears to my eyes, too. And it has me thinking a lot about what courage really is. I feel very humbled by my birthing experience, and I struggle to find a definition of courage that is reconcilable with deep humility. Like so many things with DD's birth, this is a place where I have to stretch further than I ever have before. I couldn't open my body in the way I thought was necessary in order to birth her, but I had to open my mind much much wider than I ever would have thought possible in order to make room for a c-section. When I say I had to open my mind, I mean so wide that it sort of broke...it was like the death of my Ego. I don't know how else to explain it. I don't know if there was courage in having the c-section, but I do feel that it has taken courage to put my wounded mind back together, to get my Ego back to a place where I can function (mostly) normally.
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
I don't know why the quote thing isn't working! Urg...
Lisa, your story is complex and has some very difficult chapters, and you've been extremely generous in sharing it, even though it sometimes makes you uncomfortable to do so. I have always been struck with how articulate you are in laying out what happened, with an unflinching honesty and clarity. I have seen you be determined and persistent in giving your perspective and not backing down from it, even when doing so is not popular or well received by the MDC audience. Some who are strongly opinionated in these forums also project a sort of hardness in their thinking, an unwillingness to hear other points of view, but with your posts I feel like you are really listening & absorbing what others are saying & responding from that place. You have provided a wealth of information & support to women who have been through multiple c-sections and other difficult experiences. You are the only authority on your own birthing experiences and the only person who can tell those stories and what they mean. If you say you were a spineless coward in the delivery room, I believe you. But I want you to know that I see bucketloads of courage in the way that you make yourself present here on these forums, and I appreciate the hell out of your willingness to keep sharing your story.