ds always following me around the house!

[Ekatherina]

it started some times ago but is really getting worse and makes me really crazy! ds follows me every where I go or if not every now and then starts screaming "mom! mom! where are you???" when i am in the next room ..i tried everything but nothing seems to work, and lately that he knows it disturbs me very much he started lying like after screaming and "finding me" and says something like "Petra wants you" when dd sits calmly and obviuosly doesnt need me. it justs drives me crazy and I am tired of it, otherwise he is very smart kid, we are homeschooling him, me and his dad, we have no problems at home, noone ever left him etc,....i cant figure out where this behavior is coming from and how to deal with it. please someone help!
btw he also refuses to fall asleep alone, he need to know I am in the room, knowing that he did fall asleep all by himself when he was 3...

[meemee]

has his imaginary play taken off?

i think he is going thru an emotional growth spurt and one of the things is fear. not just of monsters but also of losing people. you are the most important so he wants you

i remember being like that when i was 5. we had our own room. when i woke up and found bro not in bed with me i sneaked off into my parents bed. i was too scared to be alone.

so this behaviour is age appropriate and coming from 'growing'.

its illogical and he cant help it. so the more you can find your own control frustration button the more help it will be for him.

this is the age of fear of death too.

and the most important. if he is ahead academically he IS not an 'academic age' year boy. he is still 5 and has the emotions of a 5 year old.

[cheenya]

I also think this can be very common at this age. Even if he hasn't experienced a major loss/leaving, he is likely becoming emotionally aware of the possibility. More fully than ever he may realize now that he is separate from you and that can be scary.

As for how to deal with it, I would consider finding a way to always encourage him to be near. When you are moving from one room to another, invite him to come with you. If you are doing a task that requires you to go in and out of several rooms (ex putting away laundry) ask him to help you. Maybe put together a bag or box or bucket he can carry from room to room to carry the things he wants to play with or you want him to be doing. I'd also say if you are not comfortable having him in some rooms, don't feel like you need to let him in, but do let him know that's where you are and he is welcome to wait by the door until you come out.
Basically I would respond by acknowledging he has a strong need to know where you are and be with you and working to meet that need as much as possible. He will eventually outgrow this stage as well.

[Ekatherina]

thanx a lot sometimes i do forget that he is just a kid... and if i can't control my frustration why am I supposing that he should be controlling his.....! let's love and patience surround our days...

[mkmb129]

My son is like this, though it's easing up some. He's always been like that, though. I think it's normal. I have notice as he's gotten older and matured more, knows more, and is learning about pretending his showing signs of being afraid (of the dark, being alone, monsters, etc). Just a part of growing I think The sweet thing about it is because he's not liking being alone anymore he wants his sissy to sleep in his room with him (she'll be 2 in 11 days) and so they snuggle together!

That all said, it can be so frustrating. Sometimes I have to tell my son (he'll be 4 Nov. 8) "Mommy just needs a break, please don't follow me right now, okay?" and most of the time he'll say okay and go do something else. Sometimes he's persistant, and sometimes I lose my cool... it's hard to remember it's normal and okay when we're so touched out and need 5 minutes to ourselves. I just apologize afterwards and explain to him that mommy was frustrated and needed a break and he seems to understand.

[bonamarq]

This was my dd at 5 also - she used to call out to us if we left the room and then when we say "what?" she'd say "I love you"

She's much better now although did have to work through some other anxiety issues along the way (she's almost 7) but I still lay down with her to sleep - and she too put herself to sleep at an earlier age...

But I work full time now and we don't have much time together so I am totally okay with this, in fact I really love this part of the day - we are now reading the Secret Garden (first time for me too) and I finish off our routine with a nice massage