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Support Thread for Taking Care of Ourselves and STOMPING FRUMPY OUT! (A spin-off) - Page 2

post #21 of 169
I've been experiencing a lot of perinatal depression, and additionally felt the frumpiness and blahs with running after a toddler and finding very little time for myself. Now I have a routine of taking a shower most days after feeding dd breakfast and putting on a show for her. On the off days she DOES take a nap I'll often take a soak in the tub instead of running around cleaning.

I just bought some new clothes. I was so tired of my used or cheaper items getting pilly in no time and always feeling unkempt. So I used the outlet section of my favorite "upper end" store and now I'm finding myself getting dressed every morning. It's also motivated me to really try to build a basic wardrobe, including accessories and shoes. I'm not anywhere near there yet, but just working on it, purging what doesn't work, and making that effort makes me feel better about myself.

My sister is a hair stylist and I'm finding the time to get in and get my hair done and get my eyebrows waxed. I have no nails so manicures are out and I just paint my toenails as desired, I've never cared for pedicures.

I don't wear makeup very often at all, and I'm comfortable with that. I do want to splurge on some nice skin cream though and I've been more conscious of putting on some nice perfume, etc.
post #22 of 169
I just got a new haircut last week. Prior to this I always had a ponytail. Now I can actually leave my hair down. This week I got a new pair of shoes.

I'm still contemplating my wardrobe though. Have to get some shirts that aren't T-shirts...
post #23 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen View Post


I need this thread. I'm embarrassed to admit that sometimes I take DD to school (3 blocks away) in my pj's- no bra or shoes even occasionally!

I see other SAHMs all put together at 8am and I am so jealous. Really, they just spring from bed, jump in the shower, and take care of themselves? I hardly have time/energy enough to wash my face!

So I'm going to be working on this. Small steps, right? ...tomorrow I will wear a bra and shoes.



post #24 of 169
I so need this thread! I used to be a fairly put together person, but having DD has made me frumpier than I'd like to be.

I have been guilty of the 8.00 am school drop off in my PJ's/yoga pants way too many times.
My main morning issues is that I am super tired and just don't feel like making any efforts besides drinking some coffee.

But today I am dressed already, and when DD and get back from dropping off DS, I am going to put on a show for her, and do my 30 day shred video in my bedroom (I will be able to see her) and then shower and get dressed and put make-up on.

I did recently get a pedicure and I got my hair cut and high-lighted for the first time in way too long, and I look and feel 1000 times better just from that.
I just need to remember that I am worth some pampering and taking care of my appearance.

Hope everyone has a fabulous, non-frumpy day!
post #25 of 169
Oh, oh, I need to be here.

I'm newly post-partum too so I'm feeling REALLY crappy about my appearance.

It's actually perfect timing for this thread because today was when I was going to start planning on looking not like crud all the time.

I got up before either of the babies and took a shower (YAY! Not getting too many of those here recently with a toddler and a newborn). And I am going to eat better (for baby-weight loss and for it makes my skin look better). And I am going to exercise. I actually did like 25 minutes of an exercise DVD this morning before the newborn woke up wanting to nurse (nak now, haha).

My birthday is Nov 1st... I'll be 2 months out from childbirth at that point. I'm going to do some concentrated exercise every morning for the next four weeks, and see how my body is at that point. Then I'm going clothes shopping for my birthday and buy some clothes that actually FIT ME. I'm ready to pack up the maternity clothes forever (this is our last baby), bid farewell to the pants that my had-two-kids hip bones will no longer allow, and find some clothes that compliment my body. I've been walking around in sweatpants and my husband's XL T-shirts.

I don't do make-up, but today I am at least showered, wearing a bra (and a maternity tank top, sigh), my hair doesn't look like a rat's nest, and my face is clean.

So that'll do for today.
post #26 of 169
Thread Starter 
Kelly1101, I had such a hard time with my postpartum body. The key for me was buying a few clothing items that fit, looked nice and that I felt good in. Some folks actually recommended that I not spend the money on clothes I (hopefully) wouldn't be wearing very long. But my self-esteem was so low at that point. I hated wearing maternity clothes, and honestly, I didn't even have many of those. A few well-fitting items in your current size is, in my opinion, a must. It made a world of difference to me.

Good luck on your goals and congrats on being showered so early in the day, especially with a newborn!

Congrats on taking care of yourself, jellybeanandkids! You deserve it.

Welcome to the thread Ellp, happyhats and MamaPhD!

It's great to have such a range of mamas here including pregnant and newly post-partum. This will remind us to always take care of ourselves in every stage.

I didn't finish my project for yesterday, but I made some good headway and will work on it more today. I'm still not showered, though, as DS woke up the exact same time as me and has required my attention all morning, but I will shower during his very first nap. :-)
post #27 of 169
So I managed to button a pair of my non maternity jeans yesterday. They were not exactly comfortable or flattering, but they were on. I guess that is a start. I just hope it gets better soon since I CAN NOT spend money on new pants.

Speaking of which...where do you all like to buy clothes? I used to get just about everything at Old Navy since the prices were good and I could find things that were fairly stylish without being overly trendy. However their quality has seriously dropped and I am really sad. I don't know where to turn now.
post #28 of 169
I'll play!

I try to get dressed each morning. Sometimes that means only changing my shirt and wearing my sweat pants. But, being pregnant there are days that everything hurts my belly!

I don't do makeup everyday because I don't go out everyday so it feels like a waste (and I have expensive tastes! :P)

I'll also admit to just tossing my longish hair up in a ponytail. It's a pain to fix (I have THICK hair) and it's been hot here so up it goes! I guess I could commit to brushing it everyday, though...
post #29 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciascl View Post

Speaking of which...where do you all like to buy clothes? I used to get just about everything at Old Navy since the prices were good and I could find things that were fairly stylish without being overly trendy. However their quality has seriously dropped and I am really sad. I don't know where to turn now.
Honestly? JCPenny for a lot of stuff...or sometimes Sears or Macy's. However, I try to only shop clearance racks (because paying more than $30 for a pair of jeans hurts my soul...I'm cheap like that ) And sometimes Target has really cute things.
post #30 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciascl View Post
Speaking of which...where do you all like to buy clothes? I used to get just about everything at Old Navy since the prices were good and I could find things that were fairly stylish without being overly trendy. However their quality has seriously dropped and I am really sad. I don't know where to turn now.
I also shop at Old Navy a bit, and agree on the quality. I also like the Gap, both ON and Gap have tall sizes, which is helpful for me since I am 5'11. I love H&M, they have lots of cute, trendy stuff for very cheap prices. Maybe not the best quality, but not terrible either. I tend to go for Gap for pieces I want to make really last, and then shop for the cheaper, more trendy stuff at the other stores.

I bought some skinny jeans at H&M for a steal and they are very nice quality, so I am pleased.

I avoid department stores, because I can never find stuff that fits me well (tall and fairly thin).
post #31 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by jellybeanandkids View Post
I love H&M, they have lots of cute, trendy stuff for very cheap prices. Maybe not the best quality, but not terrible either.
I need to try H&M again I guess. They opened one near us a year or so ago & I walked in and walked right out suddenly realizing just how old I really am. The music was SO LOUD I couldn't even think. I will just have to suck it up and try again I am easily overwhelmed though & may be it was just a bad day for me.
post #32 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciascl View Post
I need to try H&M again I guess. They opened one near us a year or so ago & I walked in and walked right out suddenly realizing just how old I really am. The music was SO LOUD I couldn't even think. I will just have to suck it up and try again I am easily overwhelmed though & may be it was just a bad day for me.
This is why I avoid shops, too. I also hate it when people ask me a million times if I need help in a store. I've gotten panic attacks before from it.
post #33 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciascl View Post
So I managed to button a pair of my non maternity jeans yesterday. They were not exactly comfortable or flattering, but they were on. I guess that is a start. I just hope it gets better soon since I CAN NOT spend money on new pants.

Speaking of which...where do you all like to buy clothes? I used to get just about everything at Old Navy since the prices were good and I could find things that were fairly stylish without being overly trendy. However their quality has seriously dropped and I am really sad. I don't know where to turn now.
Target and Goodwill. Things like socks and underwear and the occasional shirt I'll get at Walmart *shrug*

We're on serious budgeting and I can't really work in anything more expensive. I love me some Target clothes, though, especially the simple things like their long tank tops.
post #34 of 169
I belong here too! I have a 3 month old and I am just emerging from the post partum fog. LOL. I actually did just buy a few pairs of jeans this weekend so now I am wearing regular clothes and no more maternity for me!! YAY! I am also guilty of staying in my pjs all day unless it is my day to take my daughter to kindergarten. I probably wouldn't get dressed then but I have to walk her and it's cold. I need to take more showers also. I am also one of those that only take 2 or 3 showers a week. Embarrassing to admit that. I feel like I want my husband to care more about his appearance like dressing nicer and wearing cologne ( I looooove cologne....... but how can I ask him to do that when I am such a bum???? So I really need to make an effort.

Also I am going to the navy ball on Friday......I am incredibly nervous. I bought a dress and shoes but I am so nervous about being overdressed or underdressed and I am just so out of my element. It's going to take a lot to get me throught it. LOL.........maybe if I actually got dressed once in a while this wouldn't be such a challenge for me. Bwahahaha
post #35 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittywitty View Post
This is why I avoid shops, too. I also hate it when people ask me a million times if I need help in a store. I've gotten panic attacks before from it.
These stores all waft bad cologne like a middle school dance where I'm at. It gives me migraines and makes me want to barf.

Unfortunately, I've been in a rut of "plain, colored shirts" - sometimes they have this nice detail or that, but I think I might have about 3 shirts with any pattern or decoration.
post #36 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by angela1435 View Post
Also I am going to the navy ball on Friday......I am incredibly nervous. I bought a dress and shoes but I am so nervous about being overdressed or underdressed and I am just so out of my element. It's going to take a lot to get me throught it. LOL.........maybe if I actually got dressed once in a while this wouldn't be such a challenge for me. Bwahahaha
FWIW, Dh worked the Air Force Ball a couple weeks back and said that it was really formal...like, prom dress style formal. So, go for broke and you'll be fine!
post #37 of 169
Great thread! After 7 years as a SAHM, I finally feel like I have the "me" thing figured out:

1. Mommy uniform: I pretty much only buy fitted, quality, and stylish yoga clothes and wear them all the time, all day, every day. I have a week's worth in rotation and I replace a little at a time as needed.

2. Basic make-up for the day: mascara, lipgloss, neutral shadow and creamy blush for my cheeks.

3. Spare highlights so regrowth looks natural and I only go every 3 months.

4. I get my eyebrows waxed every 6 mos and tweeze in between.

5. I go for a very minimal look. Wedding band, and little else as far as jewelry goes.

6. I do cardio at home 2 days per week, in the gym 3 days per week and those 3 days in the gym are followed by a yoga class. I've never felt better!
post #38 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
FWIW, Dh worked the Air Force Ball a couple weeks back and said that it was really formal...like, prom dress style formal. So, go for broke and you'll be fine!
Yeah, the AF balls where I am are formal, so is the squadron dinner, and the ball we have for my husband's job field. Something like this:

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/produc...tegoryID=22122

I'd be willing to bet the Navy ball is the same.


For shopping, I just went to H&M and spent about $100-$120 (It wasn't in dollars, so I don't know offhand what it converted to), got a pair of leggings, two skirts, a sweater, a tshirt, a long sleeve tunic-ish shirt, a hat for my son and a blouse. I totally recommend it. The quality isn't the best ever, but decent. And FWIW, they don't have fragrance. The music and lighting are terrible, but nothing will assault your nose. Abercrombie & Fitch on the other hand... I don't go into there either.


I find Target clothing to never fit right, hang weird and fall apart.
I like shopping at thrift stores for more expensive clothing, you just have to go ones in ritzier areas

The Limited used to have nice clothes, and if you shop the sales it's really affordable. I haven't been to one in years sadly, so I don't know if it's still the same.
I was given a pair of jeans from The Gap. LOVE them. I can't wait to go to one and get more, the rise is perfect!!!

Also, outlets for sure. I love the J Crew outlet sales, and Saks 5th Avenue outlet has a ton of stuff. And Corning

I've been trying to dress more for my body lately. My weight and shape keep fluctuating, so I buy something, then 2 months later it doesn't fit
post #39 of 169
I think I fall into a category that's worse than frumpy. I've truly let myself go.
I'd like to change that, though. I know the weight loss will take at least a year so I'm not sure how I can look better in the meantime. (It's not in the budget to buy clothes for myself. Maybe a couple very cheap shirts/pants but that's all.)
post #40 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
I think I fall into a category that's worse than frumpy. I've truly let myself go.
I'd like to change that, though. I know the weight loss will take at least a year so I'm not sure how I can look better in the meantime. (It's not in the budget to buy clothes for myself. Maybe a couple very cheap shirts/pants but that's all.)
How about taking care of yourself in other ways that make you feel special and pampered but don't break the bank? Every once in a while I can get DH to give me a pedicure and that is extra special.

Also, you might try thrift stores, good will or end of season sales for cheap clothes that fit you now so that you can feel good about yourself now. Just a recommendation. I know what it's like not to be able to afford clothing in a tight budget. I got to the point where I absolutely had to have clothes that I feel good in. I go to thrift/consignment stores and goodwill. Sometimes I find something. Sometimes I don't. But I also make sure that I only buy things I know I will feel great in. I make sure it's my color and for my body type. I'm very selective, because even at thrift stores, I don't have any money to waste.

Welcome to the thread! I hope you find support here. :-)
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