The most terrible thing anyone could ever say.... - Page 2

[babygirlie]

I wonder how it would make her feel knowing you KNOW she wished your child was dead for no reason. I can't imagine the guilt she would feel. So that there makes me want to tell someone how devastated you are that she wished your child dead who has a big mouth and you know it will get back to her.

I'm so sorry. Even if you were poor that's no reason to wish your baby dead. THAT is sick

[becca_howell]

I am a zero tolerance kind of person when it comes to this kind of trash. I would tell the manager what she said and request that I be allowed to confront the girl In the presence of the manager. I would then ask her if she said it. If she denied it, say my business is my business and I'd appreciate if she continued not to speak to anyone else about my personal life. If she admitted it, I would also say the above, but also mention that she doesn't know what she's talking about and her comment was way beyond hurtful and wrong.

[Evergreen]

First of all consider the source. She doesn't sound like a nice person or someone whose opinion you really care about.

It's still going to hurt. I'd love to be able to confront her and let her know why what she said hurt. I'd probably be too nonconfrontational to do that though.

[Michaels-Mommy]

That has got to be one of the meanest things that someone could say! I agree on taking the higher road on this. HUGS! Praying this baby sticks!

[jessica_s]

I just had to come give you a that's really just beyond wrong. Sounds like she's probably a bit off and in my experience dealing with that it's better to let crazy be, you have to wash your hands of crazy.
I can't think of anything that would make the comment go away in your head, even confronting her isn't probably going to help. Even if she sincerely apologized (which I'm betting she's not going to, and she would probably just say something else nasty) it wouldn't make me feel any better in that situation.
I would however most definitely let management/hr know and tell them whatever you need to. I know that type of job it might be better to just go elsewhere but if you really like it hopefully it'll be the straw needed to send her packing. Sending you lots of peaceful thoughts to deal with that.

[littleteapot]

I've had someone say something similar to me, and my personal way to deal with it is a more Buddhist approach. I tend to call them on it peacefully and say, sincerely, "I hope you never know the pain of losing a child, and I wish nothing but health and happiness for your family."

[bcblondie]

^^^ That's my son.

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by kitty waltz

My husband prayed for me to miscarry up until a week and a half ago, thereabouts. Its really hard to look someone in the eye after that.

Oh my dear girl.

[ladyelmo1]

First, I just wanted to send you a big huge hug.

The funny thing about words like that is that they say more about the person who says them then they do the person about whom they were said. To me, it sounds like SHE is the one who is poor, and therefore expects that anyone else that works the same job that she does must be as well. SHE couldn't afford a child, and therefore you must not be able to either. I bet she is soooo jealous of you, that somehow you manage where she cannot, that you get to have a baby and she can't. Probably doesn't make you feel any better, but that's my take on it.

More hugs to you, because there is no such thing as too many.

[Partaria]

What?! That's what this horrible woman said about you? Holy freaking cow. That's just .... beyond awful. I am so so sorry you had to endure hearing that, especially second hand.

You have every right to be hurt and furious.

That said, I have to say that being the bigger person and being compassionate is part of how I guess I'd advise you to react, but it's not all. I find it easier to let things go when I've said my piece and defended myself, at least a little bit.

I'd just tell this woman, listen, I know what you said about me. It is taking much of my self control to stand in the same room with you. I think your words are ignorant and disgusting.

Then move on. Don't engage her in any more discussion. And know that you're the better person in many ways, and that this girl is a sorry, sorry creature to lash out so cruelly to others. Don't let her words hurt you anymore, mama.

*hugs*

[xtara2003x]

I just wanted to thank everyone for your support and advice. I deeply deeply appreciate it!!!!

I did have to work with her on Tuesday. I was anxious on my way to work, but when I got there and saw her I was deeply upset. I stayed away from her as long as I possibly could, and when she said "hi" to me in her fakingly sweet voice, I just had to ignore her for a while.

I thought my emotion was more furious-ness (is that a word?) and anger. But when I actually was there for a while, I actually felt really upset and hurt.

Eventually she came and asked me if I was ignoring her, and I just said "yes I am". She asked why and I said that I didn't want to talk about it. She pushed a few other times, and I simply said that it was not the time and place to discuss it with her...so I just continued to ignore her for the night.

I didn't feel I could calmly and rationally discuss the issue with her that night when I was feeling so upset.

Now that I have seen her, and ignored her for a bit, I feel like maybe next time I have to see her I will be able to simply say that I heard what she said about me and my pregnancy, and I think it's really really sad that she would say such a horrible and awful comment, and tell her I would never wish such a horrible thing on someone...and just walk away. That's about all I can do at this point.

Anyway, I just really appreciate all the support you ladies have given me...as well as the wonderful advice. It's quite interesting to me how we would all handle things in our own way. I'm glad I shared so that I was able to learn from all of you wise mamas!

[bcblondie]

I think you've done a great job so far. And if you can say what you plan to say, that's wonderful. Good luck hun.

ps. I think the sheer fact that she picked up so fast on you ignoring her means that she felt guilty. Otherwise most people would just think "hmm, she's having a bad day, I'll give her space." But no. She's scared you've heard what she said. As she should be.