Which was a harder jump....0 to 1...or 1 to 2?

[ladyleah]

Just curious what people think about this topic for the heck of it! Lots of pals said the shock of going from no kids to one was the toughest for them, and having two was no biggie...and others said the opposite.

And, of course, if you had multiples....this poll doesn't really apply to you!!

[mummy marja]

It was definitely more difficult to adjust when my first was born. 2nd was a little easier, and #3 is proving to be a piece of cake compared with the first 2 times around!

[~PurityLake~]

It was most definitely a bigger change and adjustment in my life to go from being childless to having a child than it was to simply add another child to my life as an already parent.

[Viola]

0-1, no contest here. My first as a baby was much more challenging as a baby than my second. And there are 4.5 years between my two children. However, once my second hit toddlerhood, she was more challenging than my first had been at that age, and I hit a point where I started to feel like my life would be easier if I just had one older one. But, you know, most of the time I don't feel like that. I feel like having two of them is more helpful than not, because they do play with each other and will go off and keep each other entertained sometimes, so it's nice.

[Getz]

Much much easier to go from 1 to 2. And my kids are only a year apart. I was under a tremendous amount of external stress when I brought home #1 which effected our bond/nursing/made sleep deprivation even worse. I didn't have the outside stress with #2 plus had run around the newborn block once before which made life with 2 kids easier overall. (even when both were still waking up at night so I pretty much didn't sleep at all)

So to answer the question correctly: It was much harder to go from 0 to 1.

[prothyraia]

0-1 for sure.

My second child actually made life EASIER, because he was a very mellow baby and his presence gave his intense older brother someone to focus on other than ME

[ladyleah]

I love hearing everyone's experiences! Keep 'em coming!

[Nicole730]

0-1 was more difficult for me! I think it's because we had no idea what to expect - and even though I've wanted children since I was little, it was still an adjustment. From 1-2 just felt natural! I can't wait to add more

[ivymae]

1-2, without a doubt. I was able to devote all of my energy and attention into being a mom and coping with the changes with #1. With #2, there is no babymoon, you can't take a nap with the baby, and your older child doesn't care that the baby is crying, they need their mom (and thus, you also get to deal with sibling issues). 0-1 was a shock to my sense of self, but 1-2 was a challange of my physical and emotional limits (and then i went and had a third! Because I am crazy like that! )

[mommariffic]

I had to really think about this, but decided 0-1

My first kid was a tough cookie: she cried constantly, never slept, nursed horrible etc etc. It was really a struggle to maintain sanity, and of course I had all the first time mom nerves so I was constantly thinking "am I doing this right?"

Second kid is a breeze. Mellow, happy guy who just wants to watch he world go by, which is awesome. I also had kids spaced so my DD was just turning 3, and she's becoming way more independent which is nice. I think with a second child you are just more confident in your parenting, which (for me) made it easier!

[carmel23]

0-1 is harder, for sure.

1-2 you can enjoy so many things you were too freaked out to enjoy with #1. You know baby's head isn't going to fall off, etc.

Except when people tell you to 'sleep when the baby sleeps,' and you're like, 'okay, what do I do with my toddler?'

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by mommariffic

Second kid is a breeze. Mellow, happy guy who just wants to watch he world go by, which is awesome. I also had kids spaced so my DD was just turning 3, and she's becoming way more independent which is nice. I think with a second child you are just more confident in your parenting, which (for me) made it easier!

my kids are spaced this way, too and I love it!

[momto4plus4]

1-2 was harder for me for a number of reasons. Dd1 was 4 years old and jealous. Ds1 was horribly colicky which made us all pretty miserable.

[MJB]

1-2 was much harder for me.
I had more support from family with #1 (somehow, the more kids you have, the less help they think you need, which isn't how it works!) He was a pretty mellow baby and I could take him pretty much anywhere. I didn't have to change my lifestyle at all; he was happy to sleep in until 10am or later, he liked being around people, he would happily go to work with his dad while I went to class.
Having my second was insanely difficult. My first was almost 3 and still a pretty easy guy, but taking 2 little kids anywhere is a challenge. The baby was an early bird who thought the day should start at dawn and the rest of us had a very hard adjustment to 7-8am mornings. He was and is an intense child. We adjusted, of course, and by 6 mos. it was my 3 yr. old who was giving me the most trouble but man, it wasn't easy at first.
My third is 2.5 mos. old now and adjusting to her has been a breeze! My boys are in all-day kindergarten and second grade, and they don't require the baby-type hands-on parenting (bathing, toileting, getting dressed, buckling up, etc). They help with the baby. The baby is pretty easy; she almost never cries for more than a minute and she sleeps well at night. I felt "adjusted" by the time she was a month old.

[whozeyermamma]

Funny to see this today - just thinking about posting about how hard it's been to go from 1 to 2.

I think for me it's b/c I waited a long time (dd is 7) and we were on the fence about having another one. I'll be totally honest and say that little DS is now 3 mo and pretty much every other day I wonder whether we should have done it or not. It doesn't help that he's a terrible sleeper & resists anything resembling a reliable routine.

It makes me feel pretty awful, even though I know I'm probably not the first mom to feel that way.

But from 0 to 1 - I always knew I wanted a child and while DD was not an easy baby, she was predictable. I bonded with her much easier and quicker than this guy.

[Llyra]

Originally Posted by ladyleah

And, of course, if you had multiples....this poll doesn't really apply to you!!

My first thought was... Um, going straight from 1 to 3 was pretty hard. So I didn't vote!

[omelette]

1-2 for me. I had no idea it was going to be this hard. My first was a piece of cake. Adding baby #2 to the family has been hard for all of us but our #2 has cried and not slept for almost a yr now. If he was a different baby my vote might be different.

[Peony]

0-1 and 1-2 where equally miserable train wrecks. #1 was a never sleeping, screamed the entire first year baby. I thought nothing could be harder then that and then I got #2 who had medical issues. I spend the first 6 months of her life ignoring my first child and attending to the 2nd's many needs, was in and out of the hospitals. It was really rough.

[MacKinnon]

nak- 0 to 1... becoming a parent was way harder!!

[philomom]

1-2 much harder.


My first was a quiet serious baby that I took everywhere. She could even be snuck into art galleries and movies. I put a couple of cloth dipes in an oversized purse and kept moving... sling, baby, and breasts.

My second was fussy and loud from the get-go. He whistled and pinched while nursing. And by then you have to have toddler snacks for the first one and a change of clothes for both... its like having luggage. Sigh. It was easier to entertain at home than to drag two out.