Which was a harder jump....0 to 1...or 1 to 2? - Page 3

[mamadelbosque]

0-1 without a freaking doubt. going from 1 to 2 was a bit scary, and it was scary to take them both out an about the first time or two, but really, its been a piece of cake overall.

[ledzepplon]

0-1 for sure. It didn't help that dd was in intense baby who didn't sleep well. But she rocked my world. In good ways, too, of course! But seriously, she broke me in so well that every other transition feels like a piece of cake compared to that.

[Parker'smommy]

I  think baby's temperment plays a huge deal into this. If you have a colicky, screaming, refluxing baby it's hard no matter if it's your first, second, or your third. If baby is easy, nurses well, sleeps well, and is easy going, you are going to have an easier time adjusting.

[sarahr]

0-1, definitely. We had a very hard time initiating breast feeding, she cried all the time, I felt very isolated and had a hard time leaving the house, I felt totally bound to her nap schedule and felt hours trying to sooth her to sleep.

For #2, breastfeeding and recovering from the birth was a snap, I can't be isolated or stay in the house because of DD's activities, and I know that the world won't fall apart if he doesn't nap. But there are other difficulties, like when he is happily asleep and I have to wake him to get DD somewhere. It's also harder to make friends with babies, because DD isn't really interested in doing baby-friendly things.

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by Parker'smommy 

I  think baby's temperment plays a huge deal into this. If you have a colicky, screaming, refluxing baby it's hard no matter if it's your first, second, or your third. If baby is easy, nurses well, sleeps well, and is easy going, you are going to have an easier time adjusting.

Totally agree!! Add to that temperament of toddler, especially if he/she was high needs as a baby -- is he/she weaned, sleeping through, needs lots of attention? If high needs toddler, 1 to 2 will be tough too!!
 

For me, 0 to 1 was incredibly difficult, as DS1 was collicky, high needs, non-sleeping, refluxy, constant nursing, sensitive baby. But, 1 to 2 has also been tremendously hard, as DS1 is very needy, won't sleep without me next to him, is not weaned, and is in the behavior testing phase (almost 3). The baby is not an easy baby, but we are well-equipped to deal with him after having DS1. But, DS1 constantly tries on my patience, wants to go with me to change baby's diaper if he wakes up at the same time as baby, wants to nurse when baby nurses, an constantly tells me he wants me to put the baby down. I never thought I could feel so annoyed at this little guy who used to be my one and only baby love... It's hard!

[Sunflower223]

I have to go with the majority on this one.  Going from 0-1 was wayyyyyyyyy more challenging than going from 1 to 2.  1 to 2 was a piece of cake for me.  I already knew what I was doing. I hadn't yet gotten used to sleeping through the night.  It was just so much less traumatizing (lol) the second time.  However, going from 2 to 3 was almost as difficult as going from 0 to 1.  I am a bit nervous to see what it will be like going from 3 to 4, which happens to me shortly =)

Also DC1 was a very difficult baby.  She was always irritable, after around 3 months she stopped sleeping past 6AM ever and has never returned (I am not a morning person no matter how hard I try). She woke up at least twice a night until she was three . To make a long story short she was then and has always been very demanding and a little bit high strung.  DC2 was her total opposite and still is, for the most part.  He had a sleeping pattern closer to my own, he slept all night. He was quiet almost all of the time and loved his sling (unlike my little girl).  DC3 is somewhere in between the two of them.

Sooo temperament probably has some of an effect on the situation.  Though, I still think moving from no child to one child would have been more difficult, even if their birth order had been reversed.  Learning to be a parent is just so hard.

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by Parker'smommy 

I  think baby's temperment plays a huge deal into this. If you have a colicky, screaming, refluxing baby it's hard no matter if it's your first, second, or your third. If baby is easy, nurses well, sleeps well, and is easy going, you are going to have an easier time adjusting.

 WORD.    0-1 was a walk in a field of daisies because he was aneasy to care for, easygoing baby.  1-2 was like a piano dropped on my head because she was INTENSE and NEEDY and I had an energetic (still fairly easygoing, but energetic...did I mention energetic?  )  toddler to take care of, too.  .

Sooo, I think this is a kind of impossible thing to quantify because if my kid's birth orders were switched, I would have said 0-1 sucked eggs and 1-2 was a breeze.  A LOT of it depends on the kid.  I had never taken care of a baby before, nor babysat, nor had friends or family with babies when I had DS at 30 yrs old, but it still wasn't difficult to care for him, because he was easygoing.  omg if I would have had DD with my lack of baby background.....I just.....wow, uhhhh......shudder. 

[Shanesmom]

This is interesting and I love reading all the replies. I'm currently TTC number two and I can only guess that 1-2 is harder than 0-1. The first baby gets all your attention........not so when the second one comes around

[Plummeting]

Originally Posted by ivymae 

1-2, without a doubt. I was able to devote all of my energy and attention into being a mom and coping with the changes with #1. With #2, there is no babymoon, you can't take a nap with the baby, and your older child doesn't care that the baby is crying, they need their mom (and thus, you also get to deal with sibling issues). 0-1 was a shock to my sense of self, but 1-2 was a challange of my physical and emotional limits (and then i went and had a third! Because I am crazy like that! )

That's exactly how I feel. Having 1 was a piece of cake - and my first has NEVER been an easygoing personality. She needed to be held constantly and woke up several times a night for many, many months. She was also one who wouldn't sleep without a boob nearby. Ugh. However, I could do that if I needed to - I didn't have anyone else needing my attention. Two has been much, much harder. The baby is now 7.5 months old and it's still hard having two. The new baby was very, very, very fussy, but she does sleep much better than dd1 did. Still, there's not time to do what I want to do - someone always needs me. I'm expecting it to get a tad bit easier once dd2 doesn't follow me as fast as she can every time I leave the room and cry whenever she cant' catch me. I'd like it if she'd stay with DH without a fuss. That will come soon. :)

[GoBecGo]

0-1 for me.  But DD1 was a HN baby, and i split from xp when she was 8 weeks old, and there are 4 years between 1 and 2.  looking back i think if i'd had them closer together or #2 had also been HN it would be too close to call, but as it is, it was definitely harder for me becoming a mother than having another kid.

[quasar]

I chose 1-2.  My second is only 2 weeks old and my first is 19 months, so maybe it's a little early to make this decision.  With DS1, although it was tiring at first and BFing was difficult due to me being a first-timer and him having a tongue tie for the first several months, all of my time could be devoted to him.  He was an easy baby, slept well, and had a very easy going disposition.  I was just so amazed at everything he was doing and felt instantly bonded to him (well, after the first week or so- I had a bit of a hormone crash the first day and was exhausted).

DS2 is also a pretty easy baby so far, and nursing is going so much better.  I feel bonded to him and I think he's awesome.  However, DS1 has become very difficult to handle.  He's upset that I'm not paying full attention to him.  He seems to be acting out more and unhappy that he has a little brother.  I just feel like I'm not able to properly balance the two boys' needs.  For me, I'm feeling like I'm failing DS1.  He just doesn't get why he's not the center of the universe and it hurts me to see him upset when he was always a very happy little boy.    

[ladyleah]

Bumping this back up....because I think its a fun topic and poll! :)

[yukookoo]

1 - 2 hands down but only now that i have 2.  Once in a while dh will give me a "break" and take dd and i go like grocery shopping with just the baby and im amazed at how easy HE is or it is and i think back and go o my god i remember when i bitched and moaned about how hard it is to get out of the house with 1 baby, i cant get anything done etc etc

i really didnt expect it to be so hard because i thought i already knew what to expect but i think its really really hard. I love having 2, i wouldnt trade it for the world and we talk about a 3rd all the time! and i think its hard. i never get enough time with the oldest or the youngest. If i had it to do over again i would wait to have the second until the first is in preschool several days a week. I think its important to have time to sit with the baby and do NOTHING else. 

[samstress]

0 to 1 was definitely harder.

just went from 1 to 2 a month ago and i'm not nearly as stressed as i was after becoming a mom for the first time.

[Terrilein]

I voted 1-2 children because juggling schedules became so much more difficult with an extra person in the equation. Also the jealousy from both my oldest child and father was at times unbearable. Me-time is non-existent. On the other hand, a lot of questions about handling a newborn/baby didn't come up because I had already dealt with them before.

ETA: although, at times it does seem easier because my dd is much older and can actually babysit her brother while I step out to the grocery store for an hour.

[ladyleah]

bumping for fun again!!!!

[tracymom1]

01 was harder than 1-2 for sure. But 2-3 has been the hardest yet, especially since mine are all less than 2 years apart. I feel like I am running a daycare. In hindsight, I miss the days of peace when it was just DS1 and I hanging out and having fun.

[anjsmama]

Wow I'm so surprised to see so many of these responses say it was harder to go from 0-1. I thought having my first child was exciting! And so did everyone else.  was too happy to be stressed. My DH was a huge, huge help and so were all of our friends and family. Plus, when baby was sleeping - free time. When baby was with DH - free time. When baby got old enough to visit with Grandma or whatever - free time. 

When you go from 1-2 that sort of freedom just EVAPORATES. If you give baby to your partner, you have your other child. If baby is sleeping, this is one-on-one time your other child desperately needs from you. Friends & family assume  you have everything under control, since this is your second after all, and just leave you to it. My DD (2nd child) is a SUPER easy, free-loving, smiley little baby (7.5 months) - she is MUCH easier than my DS was as a baby - but the transition from 1 to 2 is just about enough to put me on a plane to Australia and change my name. Life as a new parent includes a lot of ups and downs - with little breaks in between. Life as a new parent of 2 is tons of ups and downs with no breaks ever.

[Smokering]

Honestly, I think it depends SO much on how easy your babies, toddlers/older kids, and pregnancies are. I have two (DD is older, DS is still pretty new!)

0-1 was an easier pregnancy. I was REALLY sick with baby number 2, and while DD was pretty easy-going (and DH worked from home), it was still harder to lie in bed all day feeling faint with a toddler than without. Plus, she threw the occasional tantrum at midwife visits. :p

0-1 was a harder birth. Way harder. Traumatic. And that made the postpartum period worse, even with the extra kid the second time around.

1-2, I had a lot more dread and emotional turmoil during the pregnancy, because I knew what I was getting myself into! I was NOT looking forward to the birth, or even the newborn/baby stage. DD was fairly high-needs; I didn't realise just how high-needs until I had DS, who's pretty chilled out. Which leads me to...

1-2 was a much easier newborn stage! I was on a high from a decent birth experience; healing was easier (skid marks the first time, no tears the next), and DS actually SLEPT when you put him down, without needing to feed every ten minutes or wailing because he wasn't being held. So, so, SO much easier.

DD was three-and-a-third when DS was born, and that helped a lot too. She was old enough to be slightly independent, weaned, in her own bed, toilet-trained and so on, and she could even help get cloths to wipe up spills, hand me nappies etc.

Also, DH works from home now. He didn't when I had DD. So I was all alone with a baby for eight-plus hours a day, and this time around, if I want to go to the toilet I can march into his office and dump a baby on his lap. It's fantastic.

I must admit, I read a bunch of these polls before having DS and was convinced 1-2 WOULD be worse - I was pretty much expecting the first two years of his life to be sheer, unadulterated hell. Having him was taking a gamble on my sanity. But... it's fine. It's great. It's not all sunshine and roses - I have PPD, or maybe just regular depression, and we're recently and unexpectedly broke. But I still wouldn't trade it for doing DD's babyhood again! :p And DS fills me with joy on an hourly basis. So I'm glad I took the chance. :)

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by anjsmama 

Wow I'm so surprised to see so many of these responses say it was harder to go from 0-1. I thought having my first child was exciting! And so did everyone else.  was too happy to be stressed. My DH was a huge, huge help and so were all of our friends and family. Plus, when baby was sleeping - free time. When baby was with DH - free time. When baby got old enough to visit with Grandma or whatever - free time. 

When you go from 1-2 that sort of freedom just EVAPORATES. If you give baby to your partner, you have your other child. If baby is sleeping, this is one-on-one time your other child desperately needs from you. Friends & family assume  you have everything under control, since this is your second after all, and just leave you to it. My DD (2nd child) is a SUPER easy, free-loving, smiley little baby (7.5 months) - she is MUCH easier than my DS was as a baby - but the transition from 1 to 2 is just about enough to put me on a plane to Australia and change my name. Life as a new parent includes a lot of ups and downs - with little breaks in between. Life as a new parent of 2 is tons of ups and downs with no breaks ever.

Totally agree!! Seriously, this is so it. Just imagine what 2 to 3 must be like...!