I am so glad ex has his priorities straight

[StephandOwen]

Riiiight. Today is ds's 7th birthday Ex has been calling ds on Thursday and Sunday nights so he called tonight (I have no doubts if his birthday was any other day of the week he wouldn't have even called). He's been averaging about 20-30 minute phone calls lately, which isn't too bad.

Today he talked to him for 5 minutes. Long enough to wish him a happy birthday, ask him if he "got lots of presents from mom and Jason" and tell him that he'll mail ds a present but it won't be until later this week.

Seriously? WTF? It's his BIRTHDAY and you can only talk to him for 5 minutes?!? Not to mention you couldn't have gotten his gift in the mail last week so he had it by his birthday?? It wasn't a surprise- his birthday is the same d*mn day every single year!

It took me a few minutes to put the pieces of the puzzle together and figure out why he would blow off ds like that. Then I realized he was at his parents house playing poker with a bunch of people. He couldn't take time away from his busy poker game to actually talk to ds. DS didn't even get a chance to tell him about his field trip to the orchard with school friday, his birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese yesterday, his trip to another orchard to get pumpkins yesterday or all his birthday fun today (as well as his soccer). He was so excited to talk to ex and he got blown off.

Earlier in the afternoon ex's sister had called my phone to talk to ds and wish him a happy birthday. Before I knew it the phone was getting passed to everyone else over there (ex- who talked to ds for less than a full minute to tell him happy birthday and that he would call him later, ex's mom and ex's dad). DS had NONE of this explained to him beforehand so was totally and completely confused as to who all these people were. Before ex's sister passed the phone to ex she told ds "here's your daddy so you can talk to him". DS was so confused and looked over at Jason and started talking to him Then when ex got on the phone ds looked shocked and said "who is that? Is that Matt?" When ex's mom got on the phone she told ds she had a birthday present for him. DS's response was "Oh, when are you going to come here and see me?" She told him she wouldn't come visit him here, he would have to go there Ex's sister did the same tease- told ds she had a present for him but he couldn't have it until he came to visit them up there

Some days I feel like I have to be on a tv show with a hidden camera and someone is going to jump out at any minute and say "gotcha- all this crap wasn't real!" because it's truly to the point where I just want to beat my head and take ds and dp and run far far away. Of course, I won't. But I can't say I've never dreamed about it.

[Everrgreen]

Ugh, that sucks, for you and for your son Stupid people.

It sounds like your son has had lots of fun exciting things happening for his birthday though, so yay He's lucky to have you

Oh, and for your son: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

[lilyka]

OMG our babies share a Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Owen!!!

SO how often does he see his aunt and grandma? My guess is rarely to never? Seriously, were they tryingto manipulate you through your small child? Nice...:

[LoveOhm]

I am sorry Steph.... I really wished that this communication did not further confuse your son. Hopefully all this drama you have to deal with will truly will be worth it to O later in life. While I see the value in a dad likes O's just completely handing over rights I also want to believe O will remember and appreciate knowing his bio-dad even if it's not an ideal role model and that O will appreciate that you love him so much to tide this storm standing in the front center so O only feels the waves and not the full storm.

((((HUGS))))

[StephandOwen]

Thanks everyone. I just have to remember that in a few short years ds will be able to understand more and will know that I've never kept his bio-dad from him. It also comforts me to know I am over 1/3 of the way done with dealing with ex! LOL!

Originally Posted by lilyka

OMG our babies share a Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to your little one!!!

SO how often does he see his aunt and grandma? My guess is rarely to never?

Yup, rarely. The last time his Aunt saw him was when I brought ds to Michigan just before Christmas last year (the aunt and her 2 kids and the great grandparents were the only ones who saw ds for Christmas last year- ex and both his parents blew ds off). The last time Grandma saw ds was September of last year. The Grandma averages maybe once a year. The Aunt maybe twice a year. They all know when we are in Michigan (averages 5-7 weekends per year). Most of the time I never hear from anyone about wanting to visit ds.

I believe ex has told his family that at the end of this month he gets a visit with ds alone so who knows what they are planning. What he didn't tell them is that because of his negligence (he won't even tell his lawyer that he didn't visit ds this summer and try to work something out with my lawyer! He's just ignoring everyone) then he does NOT get ds alone at the end of this month and that, in fact, I don't even legally have to bring ds to Michigan at the end of this month because there is NO agreement in writing between us. I will be bringing ds back to Michigan at the end of this month simply because he's really looking forward to seeing my dad. He loves his Grandpa and has had his suitcase packed for over a month (and we still have over 3 weeks left before we go) My lawyer has advised me that if I am bringing ds to Michigan then I do let ex see ds, but NOT alone (because since there is nothing in writing between us he could take ds and not give him back and I have nothing in writing saying that his visitation ends at X time and he has to give ds back at that time). So he will get a chance to see ds over that weekend, but it won't be alone and he won't be bringing ds to his house. He still continues to fill ds's head with those thoughts though (is telling him that he'll get to ride in his car and go to his house and blah blah blah.... none of which is going to happen). I even sent him an email telling him to stop discussing these issues with ds because we have no agreement so it is totally inappropriate for him to be discussing that with ds. He never responded to the email or called me or whatever so.... who knows.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

Before ex's sister passed the phone to ex she told ds "here's your daddy so you can talk to him". DS was so confused and looked over at Jason and started talking to him Then when ex got on the phone ds looked shocked and said "who is that? Is that Matt?"

Your Owen is a Diamon in the ruff. What a freaking cutie pie! I could kiss him!!! He knows who is daddy is, OH YEA!

[Super~Single~Mama]

I think its so awesome that your ds has such a great grandpa! And how ADORABLE that his bags have been packed for a MONTH! LOL! Kids do the darndest things, I think thats one of the big reasons we love them so much - they just keep us laughing all the time!

[doubledutch]

that would make me so mad - not just him being flaky, but also recruiting his family to try to get him up to michigan when he can't make one trip to kentucky. so pathetic.

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

Some days I feel like I have to be on a tv show with a hidden camera and someone is going to jump out at any minute and say "gotcha- all this crap wasn't real!" because it's truly to the point where I just want to beat my head and take ds and dp and run far far away. Of course, I won't. But I can't say I've never dreamed about it.

[yarngoddess]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

I believe ex has told his family that at the end of this month he gets a visit with ds alone so who knows what they are planning. What he didn't tell them is that because of his negligence (he won't even tell his lawyer that he didn't visit ds this summer and try to work something out with my lawyer! He's just ignoring everyone) then he does NOT get ds alone at the end of this month and that, in fact, I don't even legally have to bring ds to Michigan at the end of this month because there is NO agreement in writing between us. I will be bringing ds back to Michigan at the end of this month simply because he's really looking forward to seeing my dad. He loves his Grandpa and has had his suitcase packed for over a month (and we still have over 3 weeks left before we go) My lawyer has advised me that if I am bringing ds to Michigan then I do let ex see ds, but NOT alone (because since there is nothing in writing between us he could take ds and not give him back and I have nothing in writing saying that his visitation ends at X time and he has to give ds back at that time). So he will get a chance to see ds over that weekend, but it won't be alone and he won't be bringing ds to his house. He still continues to fill ds's head with those thoughts though (is telling him that he'll get to ride in his car and go to his house and blah blah blah.... none of which is going to happen). I even sent him an email telling him to stop discussing these issues with ds because we have no agreement so it is totally inappropriate for him to be discussing that with ds. He never responded to the email or called me or whatever so.... who knows.

Oh Steph! I've been wondering what's going on with Owen and your EX. *Sigh* I'm surprised that he's actually called, to be honest. I hope he stops telling Owen all these false things, it's so confusing for kids.
Hang in there Mama!

Happy Belated Birthday Owen

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by yarngoddess

Oh Steph! I've been wondering what's going on with Owen and your EX. *Sigh* I'm surprised that he's actually called, to be honest. I hope he stops telling Owen all these false things, it's so confusing for kids.
Hang in there Mama!

Happy Belated Birthday Owen

He's like that fly that you swat at over and over and over again and he just. won't. die. He actually hasn't missed any phone calls, but he's been shortening the calls a lot lately and, when he does talk, he's usually playing computer games at the same time (and doesn't turn them down so ds can hear them- when ds asks what the sound is ex even tells him "Oh, I'm playing games on my computer"). Yeah, he can't even carve out 20 minutes in his oh so busy life to completely focus on ds DS's birthday was last Sunday. On that day (during his 5 minute phone call ) ex told ds that his gift was in the mail and he should get it any day. On Thursday (when a gift hadn't arrived) ex actually told ds "Well, my wife was supposed to send it out but I guess she didn't. I'll make sure SHE sends it out soon"..... and then proceeded to tell ds exactly what the gift was (which is just weird to tell a 7 year old what you got him so he's not even excited to get it and he also didn't listen to ANYTHING ds told him and got him totally random things that ds didn't want/need). So here we are, 8 days after ds's birthday, and he still hasn't gotten a gift from ex (but has heard about it for over 2 weeks now). Some things never change.

I did send him an email almost a month ago telling him to knock off the inappropriate talk with DS (and copied my lawyer on it). Ex never responded. He's basically ignoring my lawyers requests to deal with the visitation issue. I have a feeling he is just going to show up at the place we are staying and demand to take ds. That crap won't be happening though, and since he has NO court order showing he has visitation at that time I'll just be calling the cops if he wants to cause trouble. Of course, dp and I already have a plan in place- should ex start trouble- so we know who does what (I deal with ex (my dad will also be there to back me up), dp takes ds out of sight/hearing distance/etc and stays with him no matter what)

[BabyBearsMummy]

Happy belated birthing day Steph

Happy belated birth day Owen