ugh. i just want to complain a little bit so skip over this if you aren't in the mood!
so i spotted a few times until last friday when i spotted brownish red and went to the ER. they sent me home after taking bloodwork and doing an ultrasound with no heartbeat...they brought me back the next day and did an ultrasound and the baby was totally fine measuring 5w6d (i think it was actually about 5w4d at that time). since then i've been (stupidly) checking my cervix every day and doing internal sweeps with toilet paper because i've been so anxious about it, and i think in doing so my spotting has increased...not an awful lot but to the point where i am spotting brown every day or two. yesterday i started spotting bright red for a couple hours and then called health link to ask them wtf was going on and they told me to go see a doctor within 12 hours...i called my doctor this morning and the receptionist told me to go to the ER because the doctor won't even see me until 8-12 weeks along. *sigh*
anyways. i'm not spotting anymore, i know there is brownish blood inside but none has made a grand appearance, and i don't WANT to go sit in the hospital for hours on end waiting to get an internal and an ultrasound and a blood test. ugh.
i just want to lay in bed and cry and watch america's next top model. that's so selfish sounding but what's the point?! i have no cramps and i still have all my pregnancy symptoms. i am fairly sure i either gave myself a small v.i. by contaminating myself with toilet paper or just irritated my cervix way too much. or maybe i have a subchorionic hematoma.
i should be grateful that i have healthcare, let alone free healthcare...and i am. but i am so not in the mood to sit in a hospital and be poked and prodded at.
please pray that everything is fine regardless, i think i am going to shower and leave as soon as the nausea settles down.