My almost 17 month old and Childcare

[mommy_to_2angels]

So I had John (JJ) in a home childcare center and he hated it. Beyond normal seperation anxiety, kinda hated it. I never saw the woman playing with the kids or anything like that. There were 7 kids all together. She was always criticizing, never complimented when they did well at something. It felt like an unpleasant environment for my boy.

So this weekend, I found a new place for him. Not a center but a woman who was looking for a playmate for her grandson, whom she babysits during the day. First thing this morning, the new sitter got on the floor and started playing with JJ, making him comfortable. I left and he was giggling and playing and having a grand ole time.

I just got an email from her, with an adorable picture saying he was having fun and not to worry. We will see how day 2 goes tomorrow. He may not be so easy to distract. Lol.

Now to my question, I tried to explain to the other provider that I just couldn't afford her fees. She offered to watch him part time for less, but with him being so unhappy there....how do I just explain that I will never send him to her again? She's rather...thickheaded about this...

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[physmom]

I'd just explain that you found someone else that is closer/cheaper/more compatible. That's great that you've found good childcare, it's so hard to find (speaking from experience here).

[Kerrie]

My answer as a parent: call her and tell her that you found care that works better for your family and you will not need her services anymore and leave it at that. She really can't argue if you do not give her anything to argue about.

My answer as a caregiver: call her and tell her that you found care that works better for your family and ask when you can drop off your last payment. Offer to pay whatever you can - a few days or a weeks worth of care. I understand that you are not happy with the care she provided so you found other care but she very well might have turned down other families since she was caring for your son. It will end the relationship in a positive way.

Good luck!

[peainthepod]

"Thank you for your services, but we've decided to go with a different caregiver at this time. When may I drop off your final payment?"

No need to beat around the bush and sometimes argumentative/dense people just need to be told straight out that it's not open to further discussion. It's nothing personal; her style of care just didn't mesh with your family--and that's completely okay! Not every caregiver will be suitable for every child or parenting style.

Congratulations on finding someone you can trust with your son. That has to be a great feeling after your first experience.

[Super~Single~Mama]

It's awesome that you found someone that works better for you!

Be warned that while he was super happy today, tomorrow he will know that you are leaving and may not be happy when you leave. That doesn't mean that he won't calm down prety fast once you're gone - but day 2 is always the hardest for us! Then, it gets easier much faster.

[mommy_to_2angels]

Thanks very much! I did let her know I would bring her final payment on Friday, when I get paid. She kept telling me about a former child's grandma calling asking her to take the child on for 3 weeks, so she would have 3 weeks to find another child to fill the slot. I have a guilty conscience issue that makes it hard for me to tell people that I don't want/need them anymore. But I will use your words. That definitely should get through to her because the way I explained apparently didn't do the trick. lol

Thank you for the congratulations! I am excited. He did well this morning. He was still miserable after over a month there, hence the reason I knew they didn't mesh well. So this is a good thing, he's already much better. I kinda expect some anxiety in the next couple of days, but I don't see it lasting like this past experience did.