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Head Start Preschool won't stop giving him dairy

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I should start this post off by stating that I am not a vegan, although I am 100% convinced that this is the best nutritional diet. Someday I will get there, but I am still having trouble eliminating dairy entirely from my diet. I have also been a very naughty vegetarian for the past six months.

Anyway, a few years ago my son started getting sick with severe colds. (They later diagnosed this as "asthma".) He had 6 hospital admissions within a 9 month period. A mild cold would immediately send him to the emergency room. Despite seeing several pediatricians, an allergist, and a pulmonologist at Seattle's Childrens Hospital, no one was able to control these incidences. I finally took him to the clinic at Bastyr naturopathic school. A food allergy test revealed no clear food allergies, but rather a low reaction to dairy and some type of reaction to basically every food they tested for. They assumed this was leaky gut syndrome. (Also when he was an infant, he had severe baby acne and eczema and removing dairy from my diet while breastfeeding him cleared these problems up immediately.) Our first plan of action was to remove dairy from his diet again. It's been over a year and he hasn't had a problem since. The more conventional/mainstream explanation is that milk causes a buildup of mucus and can lead to complications in kids with asthma and upper respiratory conditions.

He has just started attending Head Start preschool. This is a free, federally funded program for low income children. They serve breakfast and lunch and the food program is funded and run by the USDA. During the paperwork process, I asked them not to serve him dairy and they wanted me to fill out a food allergy form. I did so and they required that it be signed by a doctor. This, in itself, has been a hassle. (We haven't seen the naturopath for a year, because, well...we haven't needed to. She is several hours away. I finally got ahold of her via email and she graciously agreed to sign the form and fax it back to the school. This should be completed soon.) However, the director of the preschool called me this morning and asked if the doctor would be completely documenting his condition and the reasons why dairy affects him, etc. What???

I am completely irritated by the entire situation. I asked her, "If we were vegans, would we still have to get a doctor to sign the food allergy note?" She said yes. She said that the food program is very strict and any food eliminations or substitutions should be thoroughly documented. She also continued to ask, "Can he have pudding if it has milk in it? How about crackers that contain evaporated milk?"

I am going to continue to handle the situation with the preschool until they stop serving him dairy. (As of now, they are giving him cheese on his sandwiches and glasses of milk and from what I hear, he is refusing them. He knows that dairy will make him sick and generally avoids it even without me needing to step in.)

However, I want to take this a step further. Should I write a letter? How is the USDA getting away with controlling the nutrition of low income children based on what they believe is correct? How can people still believe that milk is nutritionally excellent??? Why have my rights as a parent been taken away because I fall under the low income category? Shouldn't I just be able to say "I don't want him having that" and not be questioned?

Your thoughts are appreciated.
post #2 of 10
I don't have any advice but I'm sorry you're going through this! What a frustrating situation. It would be infuriating to have your LO in a care situation where your beliefs are not only ignored, but systematically disrespected. (And it really is systemic- a string of subsidies, all influenced by big agribusiness... it's not a stretch to say that lobbyists for the industrial food system are effecting your son's digestive problems)
I've heard head-start horror stories where children are forced to sit until they finish their antibiotic-and-hormone ridden, subsidized, industrially produced milk... at least he's being allowed to refuse)
I'm glad you're following through... any chance of finding a preschool situation that's more in line with your values? We've found that a lot of the private preschools that are linked to elementary schools (Montessori is one example) extend their scholarship offerings to the toddler level, could be worth looking into.
Good luck!!
post #3 of 10
That's ridiculous! Do school age kids also have to have notes from doctors to be on a special diet? If it's just that they are worried about him having a "complete" lunch, I'd just send one with him with other sources for calcium.
post #4 of 10
I have no experience with this at all, but I wanted to say that this situation is horrible, and I think my head would explode if someone gave my child something that I expressly indicated that I did not want him to have. My heart goes out to you.

I wonder if you couldn't tell them that it is against your religion to consume meat/dairy (I mean, really, it kind of is, isn't it?)?
post #5 of 10
post #6 of 10
My DD has milk issues and I always had to bring stuff for her to replace the milk (and eggs and peanuts) in her preschool menu. I was urged by friends to take what I spent on food out of the tuition payment but I never did. (Not a Headstart place obviously.) No one ever questioned my word on why these foods were to be avoided. DD became an expert on quizzing adults on the contents of food.

Often what they served was cooked from scratch and they were able to control what went in the meals but it was an uphill battle educating on prepared foods. I was able to keep a few items at the center so I didn't have to pack lunch everyday or try to anticipate their menu and provide something compatible. (My DD didn't always want to be the different one.)
post #7 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandgeek View Post
That's ridiculous! Do school age kids also have to have notes from doctors to be on a special diet? If it's just that they are worried about him having a "complete" lunch, I'd just send one with him with other sources for calcium.
My 2 daughters both attended Head Start when they were younger (1 year for my oldest as a low income family, the other for 2 years as a family of a child with a disability for my middle child). Anyways, sending in food is not allowed, as far as I can remember (and this was at 2 different counties, who each had different rules on various things).

I would argue that the doctor signing off that your child is to NOT have dairy should suffice, and them asking for extra documentation after the fact is an undue burden on you, as well as the time for the Doctor. This is not something that warrants a full on documentation as to the 'ins and outs' of your son health.

This is something the teacher should be working with him to help avoid, and not against you. The HS teacher we had or the younger of our 2 daughters, who was SO wonderful, worked with our daughter and her ranch dressing issues (i wont call it a allergy, per say, cause there are some brands that do not cause a reaction). Without her teacher reinforcing the "no ranch dressing" (which they had often at school, and i never had at home), she may have eaten it when grandma took her for a special day out as a preschooler. My daughter actually told my step-MIL that "Miss S**** says I can't have that dressing, cause it might make me sick". My step-MIL was horrified she had even forgotten this basic info (since we lived with her at the time, she knew this already).

I hope you are able to get them on your side. I have heard some HS horror stories, and I am so very grateful and glad that we had the most wonderful teacher, esp for my younger daughter (and the other was pretty great too).
post #8 of 10
I'd go above her, I'd call her boss and her boss and her boss till you get satisfaction. Cause' thats crap. And yeah, as far as I know, HeadStart doesn't allow outside food in - they provide everything (I was told, when ds1 was going to go, before they renigged on transport), including crayons, paper, etc. Good luck!!
post #9 of 10
My girls went to a Head Start for a while, and I had to really argue with them but I did get them to accept that I was sending in all of our own food. The stuff they were serving was ridiculous... like lunch would be two pieces of white wonder bread with a slice of cold cut meat, and occasionally a small side of fresh fruit, but usually a plastic cup of canned fruit in syrup.

Anyway, I did get them to let me pack lunches for my kids, and told my kids not to eat anything from them. They initially wanted a doctor's note, but as we are vegan and not allergic, I basically told them that I wasn't doing that, and that I WAS sending food in, and that my kids WEREN'T eating their food. They got the point.
post #10 of 10
(((hugs))) we are low income as well and are not going through you're situation but i do know how low income families are FORCED to do things they dont want to or are ludacris. i also grew up low income and had to eat wat they gave me at school...which was no where near healthy....EVERYTHING pushes dairy on the low income pop. period. i mean come on WIC will pay for 2 gallons of milk a week?! they think its a good "filler" food for the "malnourished" low income families...
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