This is my first post on these forums, though I have read them off and on for awhile. This thread stuck home with me, because I tore so badly with my first, that I didn't think I would even be able to have more children much less ever have sex again. My water broke at just over 37 weeks, and when I arrived at the hospital, I was immediatly hooked up to an iv of pitocin, because contractions hadn't started yet-unfortunatly I didn't know any better then to ask them to wait. What followed is kinda of a nightmarish blur. Within the hour I had rolling contractions and back labor. the first nurse told me to calm down, this was only the beginging and left. and hour later, the next nurse told me I needed to have an epidural because I was scaring the other patience with my noise, and although I said i didn't want one, they set about ordering one anyway, as they said, with there being a likely 12 more hours of labor or more, I needed to be being more quiet. about a half- hour later, and they come in to try and administer the epidural, which I still am saying I don't want, they make me get into the bed and get on my side, at which point I tell them I need push. Not really believing me, the anesthiologist, tells them to check, I was fully dialated. My doctor wasn't there, and there wasn't another doctor even around. The nurses all left trying to find a doctor. so I got into a squat position, and the next thing I know my then husband is screaming for a nurse because he can see the head. Some doctor rushed in from the hall, and with not but two more pushes out comes my dd, face up. She weighed 7 pds. 5.4 oz. When my doctor finally arrived, they were trying to give me oxygen, and get me to lay down, the next thing I know, I am being wheeled into surgery and knocked out. 4 hours later, I wake up numb from the waist down. My tears were up through the labia-which had to be completely reconstructed on one side, and up the vagina about 3 inches. As this was nearly 14 years ago, I don't remember the exact stich count but it was over 150. recovery was long and at times painful. I have three other living children now, and am expecting another in nov. I have not torn with any of my other children. They were all born in hospitals, though not that hospital, nor with that doctor. I also know much more know about my rights, and have more confidence in asserting them.