How "primped" is your toddler?

[mom2lucy]

DD1 is 2 1/2 and she has really crazy curly hair. I make sure I at least comb her hair several times a day (otherwise it becomes a knotted mess), and try to get some ponytails in it, but she is sometimes resitant to the ponytails so I don't push it. I can understand her not always wanting her hair "done." Even though it's brushed it can tend to look a bit crazy because of how curly it is. Also, in terms of her clothes, she is becoming very particular about what she wants to wear, and will usually throw a huge tantrum if she doesn't get to pick out her outfit. I usually go with it and let her wear what she wants (within reason).
So (and I'm getting to my point!), she sometimes looks a bit disheveled, but she's always in clean clothes and comfy. Anyway, there's one other girl in her gymnastics class who is always very perfectly dressed with visible product in her curly hair and she does look really cute. But I notice that the teachers definitely seem to favor this girl and always giver her hugs, excessive compliments/praise, etc. I can't help but think her appearance has something to do with this because she's not doing anything above and beyond the rest of the class.
Of course I want my kid to look nice, but between her meltdowns and another 4 mo. old baby, sometimes it's just not worth the fight.
So what's your toddler's wardrobe look like and how much effort do you put into getting them ready for just a regular day (obviously special occations are different)??

[carmel23]

My dd (now 3.5) was getting herself dressed at a very young age (like before she was 2). She sometimes needed help getting a zipper in the back up, etc, but putting on pants and a shirt/pull over dress--she can do that herself.

To me it was more important for her to be confident and learn to dress independently then have a certain look. Even now not everything really appeals to an adult's sense of style, if you know what I mean.

Sometimes she lets me brush her hair, sometimes she doesn't. But it is her hair--of course it gets tangled if we don't brush it, so I try to make it fun by having "hair styling" party. But sometimes she just does not care.

I think I would talk to the gymnastics teachers about their treatment of the children. That would bug me.

[physmom]

First off, I have a very, very curly haired toddler too! I actually made a thread about awhile back that you might find useful (on how to deal with it): http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1238397

So the most important things:
1. Don't brush her hair! It'll make it worse and probably hurt. Just run your hands through it to get out major tangles when wet.
2. Don't wash it too often.
3. DO put something in it after washing. I can't remember the exact product we use but that thread above has some great suggestions! s

Honestly, her hair looks great now if nothing else and it's way easier to take care of then when we were trying to brush it all the time!!


As for clothes... DD chooses her own clothes so it's really hit or miss. Sometimes she looks like she could be in a gap commercial... other days it looks like she dressed in the dark. She's VERY opinionated about her looks (she keeps asking for make-up after seeing a lady put it on in the subway ) so we just let her be creative. Even when she's dressed like a bum we get remarks all the time about how cute she is so I've never really had problems on that front. I've found a quick bow in the hair can cure most outfits.

[justKate]

OMG my kid looks like heck. She's 20 mos. with crazy curly red hair, which she will not keep out of her face and I'm not ready to cut. There is another toddler in her Little Gym class with the same hair, but the parents obviously cut it, so she has adoreable bangs... But I'm not ready. So eh. The hair thing--it's going to be a mess until she's old enough to care, because that's just the type of hair we have.

And she's tall and thin (for a baby, iMO), so none of her pants fit. They're always falling off, except for the ones that I've tailored. Which is easy with granny pants but not so much with jeans. Today she wore a plain white onsie (to hold up her shorts and to keep hands out of the diaper, that's another thread) with khaki shorts that were falling off and a tacky souvenier Atlantic City, NJ t-shirt with dice on it. TACKY on a baby.

So what do you put in your DD's hair? I use those little tiny plastic hair bands when absolutely necessary, because she can't pull them out yet.

ETA: product-wise, just wanted to second no shampoo, especially nothing with sulfates or silicone/dimethacone.

[tangledblue]

My DD has curly hair too. Much better to comb it with a wide-tooth comb after bath rather than brush it. In the mornings I put a detangler in it and then sing the alphabet song while I comb it--that way, she knows it will be over soon.

Clothes--getting dressed goes much better if I read her a story or let her watch an elmo clip on youtube while it happens.

[SpartyGuard]

I brush DD's hair in the morning and usually put it in a half-ponytail. Its not for looks but to keep her hair off her face so it doesn't bother her. Sometimes its lasts all day when I pick her up from daycare, sometimes it doesn't. When it was super hot, I would put in a full ponytail to get it off her neck but that never lasted!!

She doesn't have opinions about clothes yet so she usually matches and stuff. Maybe not on the odd day Daddy picks out her outfit.

[Norasmomma]

I wouldn't brush her hair, detangle it, use a dab of conditioner on your palms and run it through her hair. It will look nice that way.

As for clothes sometimes I make a deal with DD, but one thing that I realized they are little once, if they want to wear a princess costume I let them, pajamas, whatever. They have their whole lives to worry about what others think, I find for me that toddler/preschooler confidence is so awesome and empowering for them.

My biggest battle with DD at that age was getting her to wear ANYTHING

[mamadelbosque]

DS1 is 3.5 and still doesn't really give a crap what he's wearing - he'd wear the same clothes to bed and the next 3 days in a row if we let'm Unless like, they got utterly drenched and he was cold. Or something. I think he *can* dress himself but its usually not worth the tears and time to let/make him. So I (or Dh, or whoever else is around) helps him.

Ds2 is just shy of 14 months and clearly couldn't care less about his clothes Maybe the whole clothes thing really is a girl thing???

As for how they 'look'? Well... their clothes are usually clean, though its often been several days since a bath (something else ds1 hates - and as he's got a cast on, I don't think he's had a bath in over a week now...). So... yeah

[firewoman]

hehehehe! I know how you feel! I am the mother of five children, three girls and my oldest has THE CURLIEST HAIR. Here, see for yourself.

http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/n...x/DSC_2119.jpg

We have been trying to find the best way to manage this hair for the last thirteen years and one thing we learned early on is to avoid brushing it while dry. This just causes damage to the hair and MAJOR frizz. We have begun using WEN haircare products and they are AMAZING. It makes her curls stay together and easily detangles it. They also send you a wide tooth comb to comb through your hair with the product in.

On the dressing front. You could try laying out three outfits on the bed and allowing her to pick from those three. I think you should allow her own personal style to show through, even if it is a little funky. That is a good thing, IMO. She doesn't need to conform to any pre-conceived notion of what is "cute". I think wild curly hair is cute!

[haurelia]

Our DS is 20 months and has no concept of picking out his clothes, so I just put him in whatever play clothes are near the top of the drawer and clean (usually, he wears jeans and a t shirt with a sweatshirt or flannel shirt on top). In the mornings, we wash hands and face, and brush hair and teeth. We spiff him up for special occasions, but he usually has messy hair (I haven't cut it at all, ever, although I'm getting close because he complains about it being in his mouth and eyes). I feel like he always looks cute as a button, but always a little ragamuffin-y. I can't be bothered to primp myself, so I don't think it's a big deal to have a primped kid.

[34me]

Originally Posted by firewoman

hehehehe! I know how you feel! I am the mother of five children, three girls and my oldest has THE CURLIEST HAIR. Here, see for yourself.

http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/n...x/DSC_2119.jpg

We have been trying to find the best way to manage this hair for the last thirteen years and one thing we learned early on is to avoid brushing it while dry. This just causes damage to the hair and MAJOR frizz. We have begun using WEN haircare products and they are AMAZING. It makes her curls stay together and easily detangles it. They also send you a wide tooth comb to comb through your hair with the product in.

On the dressing front. You could try laying out three outfits on the bed and allowing her to pick from those three. I think you should allow her own personal style to show through, even if it is a little funky. That is a good thing, IMO. She doesn't need to conform to any pre-conceived notion of what is "cute". I think wild curly hair is cute!

We have the same hare here. IIt's even the same color on my 16 yo dd and lighter on my ds#2. Because ds is a boy we keep it fairly short and it hasn't seen a comb but maybe 5 times in his 12 years. Curly hair is what it is. I also second the lay out a few outfits and let her pick - if you care. For the most part we didn't either. It wasn't the outfits my kiddos picked out when they were small that embarassed me, it was the ones my dh picked out!

[lisavark]

My daughter is 2.5, and she started wanting to pick out her own outfits at around 15 months. She couldn't dress herself, but she would point to what she wanted to wear. And by 2 she was throwing a fit if I tried to pick out her clothes. I don't care that much, but I do enjoy dressing her in cute outfits, so I *try* to get her to wear something that matches. Usually. Generally I'll pick out an outfit and drop it on the floor for her to find, and usually then she'll decide she wants to wear it. If that doesn't work, then all bets are off and chances are she'll be wearing a princess outfit all day. However, she's actually pretty darn good at picking out matching outfits most of the time, which is amazing to me since I still can't pick out matching clothes for myself very well!

But brushing her hair is a huge pain. She doesn't have curly hair, but it's very fine and it takes forever to get the tangles out. It's in knots every morning. I used detangler for a while but then her hair just seemed dirty all the time...I guess it wasn't very good detangler? Now I try to wash it pretty regularly and brush at least every other day. I use a really soft baby brush and nurse her while I brush it, and if she'll sit still long enough (which she usually will if there's boob involved!), then I can brush the tangles out with just the soft brush. She also hates having it washed, but I wash it in the kitchen sink so I can use the sprayer.

[rightkindofme]

Another curly kid here (though not anything like the picture upthread! ) and she looks like hell. I just smile and nod. She picks her clothes and has *no* fashion sense.

[sapphire_chan]

DD usually looks like this.

ETA: can't use barrettes, etc, because she'll either pull them out or rip out her hair trying to pull them out.

[MamaPhD]

DD is 22 mo and it's about half and half with us. Some days she doesn't care and I dress her. For school days, something comfy and aready stained with paint. We are painting every class (2x per week) and that stuff doesn't come out! Other days DD picks something out & I let her. Luckily she's usually really good about temperature control so she always asks for a hat (if sunny), hoody (if cold/windy), etc.

We have the opposite problem with hair. DD has very thin & totally straight hair. I used to cut bangs but we are growing it out now so she looks like a sheepdog. She will let me put a barret every once in a whie, but otherwise just wipes the hair out of her eyes constantly.

[Everrgreen]

My son also doesn't care at all what he wears, so I pick out his clothes for the day and his outfits are nice (if I do say so myself ). And he's still pretty much bald, so no hair issues. I guess I have the whole 'getting ready' thing pretty easy!

It seems like this is more of a thing with girls.

[shnitzel]

DD is usually put together. She also has very curly frizzy hair, but I only brush it when wet and her curls are gorgeous. She always wears a clip in the side, a snappy clip usually with a flower on it, and knows where her flower is. Otherwise she spends all day rubbing her eyes b/c she has hair in them, ponytails don't seem to hold her hair well enough.
She doesn't care what she wears yet but does sometimes admire herself in the mirror.

I do notice she gets more attention when she is dressed adorably. I think she is probably prettier than average b/c if she is well dressed she gets a ton of comments from strangers and other kids parents.

[confustication]

If we are home- goodness, it's usually a tshirt and a diaper/undies (age/ pl dependent.) When we go out, I try very hard to make sure the kids are all put together and dressed nicely.

My oldest had tons of curly hair when she was little. I never brushed it when dry, and made certain to use conditioner regularly to keep it hydrated. Still, when she was about 3 we cut it because she hated the process of caring for it, and the fights just were not worth it.

[Caterina]

My DD (almost 2) has been picking her clothes and dressing herself for a few months now. She's mostly getting her underwear on UNDER her pants these days! She has fine, wispy curly hair and we wash it about once a week, but it's always in her ears and eyes, and she won't let me put any clips or elastics in it at all.. I personally think she looks way cuter in her mismatched clothes (multiple stripes is a favourite) than kids that look so put together. I like that her outfits show her burgeoning personality and I support her independence. I don't know how you would bring up your reflections of favouritism to the gym teachers, if you even wanted to... but supporting and modelling to your daughter that people can look however they want if they feel comfortable and that looking a certain way doesn't have any bearing on how good you are at gymnastics or any other thing is something you can do that would be positive in this situation.

[allisonrose]

My son's hair has a bit of curl to it but they are rather loose curls so it doesn't show up until his hair is somewhat long. I don't really bother to comb/brush his hair much because he's like Harry Potter: it'll be back to its preferred state in a short time. I've noticed shorter hair=slightly more tidy hair for him so I'm a bit more on board with shorter haircuts now. His first haircut was a bit sad for me because he began looking more like a little boy than a baby!

He hasn't expressed much preference in regards to clothing except occasionally not wanting to wear any. Although recently I (silently) wished for a "Daddy dressed me" sticker when hubby put plaid shorts and a striped shirt on him.