How many organized activities for a 3yr old?

[leighi123]

We were talking about setting up a Spiral Scouts group with kids who were interested in our natural moms group - some of the moms mentioned that they like the idea, but only want their kids in one organized activity at a time.

I, on the other hand think the organized activities are great for ds, other than playdates which end up being every couple weeks or so, its the only interaction he really has with other kids his age (seems like every time we go to the park or something like that, no one else is there!)

Right now he does:
M: gymnastics for an hour, 4 kids total in the class 3-5yr olds, parents watch from 1-way glass room
W. Science class for an hour, maybe 10 kids in the class but parents participate
TH: library story time/craft/we get books

I'm thinking of adding:
Spiral Scouts, 1 meeting every other week and whatever 'field trips' we organize, some of the activities would be done in small groups or as families, depending on interest level of the kids as far as which badges they want to earn and whatnot. Going to organize this me with another mom from the group (she has a 5yr old ds)

Suzuki music, which will mean 1 practice a week + 10-30min daily practice (violin)

There are other things he is instersted in too,tai kwaon do, ballet/tap class, art, swimming, golf, a little sports class (might do this one)

Obviously we cant do it all (I cant afford to!), but he really really enjoys everything I have put him in (he did ballet/tap in the summer, and swimming).

How do I decide what is too much? If he is happy doing everything we are doing, is it bad to have him in so many activities? Should I 'rotate them out' or something like that instead? (we cant do this with ballet/tap, gymnastics, scouts, or Suzuki, b/c all need more of a commitment)

I used to babysit a little girl I've known sense she was born who didnt have time to sit down for 5min b/c she was in like 10 organized activities a week, and she would cry telling me she just wanted to play at home once in a while! She is an amazing young woman now though, but her parents still have her in a ton of activities (she is 16 now).
Me on the other hand, I changed activities alll the time, never committed to anything, never got to make true friend in activities b/c I changed my mind so often, and never really 'loved' any of it. I would have done much better doing 3-4 activities long term vs. 3-4 activities one at a time.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I'd be one of the women in your group bowing out of another activity. Lots of activities is just not for me. Marathon playdates were my life from about birth to 5. That said, if your child and you are fine, happy, thriving with lots of things to do - GREAT!

The one bit of caution I would make is to not look to far down the road - just use these to build a happy childhood for now. No need to worry about what he'll be like at 16 or whether he'll be dedicated. My feeling is that will come with exposure - or not! I also don't think a happy 16 year old would be worth a childhood without enough time to play.

But that's not your issue! It sounds like your child is HAPPY and he's getting to do lots of cool things. AND his mom is willing to take him there. Lucky kid!

[ChetMC]

Very Personal

This is really very personal. It depends on your child, what you can afford, your personal value system, what is available in your area, etc.

To me, there's a big difference between a three year old who attends preschool / daycare forty to fifty hours a week, is in six activities on top of it, and who has large commute times to get to everything, and a child who is in half a dozen activities, but no preschool or daycare, some activities alternate every second week, many are done with parents or siblings, most are very close to home so there isn't much overhead, etc.

I think it is very reasonable for a three year old to be in no formal activities at all, or to be limited to just one activity. At the same time, I don't see anything wrong with a preschooler having a half an hour or an hour activity most days if that's what works for them and their family.

What I think is unfortunate is the assumption that all preschoolers need a certain number of activities (zero, one or ten).

[Llyra]

I think the right number of activities is the number that your LO enjoys. There are factors to weigh-- is he enjoying them and thriving in them? Is he excited when you say it's time to go to his activity, or do you often feel like you're dragging him there? Is he cranky or overtired after these activities, or energized and happy? Is he sleeping soundly at night, and does he talk enthusiastically about his activities in between times?

I think there is such a thing as too much. I for one wouldn't do more than a few (3 or maybe 4) organized things a week with a child this age-- and definitely not more than one in a day. But I don't know your child-- my kids seem to do best with low-key, unstructured days, plenty of time for naps, and plenty of time to just hang around outside, or in, doing their own thing.

I have 3 1/2 year old twins. Right now here's what they're doing:

DS: gymnastics once a week, a library storytime once a week, and an organized playgroup at the church twice a month, plus Sunday school each week

DD2-- ballet once a week, plus the library storytime, the twice-a-month playgroup, and Sunday school

and often it seems like it's a bit too much for them and me, so we wind up skipping the library storytime.

When my DD1 was three, she was in preschool three mornings a week, and that was clearly just about as much as she could handle-- so we did no other organized activities at all that year. The year she was four we added in dance.

[MamieCole]

My personal answer to the question in the thread title is "zero."

Just reading your list of activities and potential activities makes me overwhelmed. I much prefer (as does my DS) non-structured exposure to things like art, dance, sports, etc.

BUT, if it works for you, your child, your family, and there is balance and plenty of down time, I say go for it. Like a PP said, there is no one right answer across the board.

[ecoteat]

I'll agree with the others--the right number of activities is the number that your child enjoys. MY daughter would not be able to handle your schedule last year, at age 3. She went to preschool 2 days a week then, and we would occasionally go to the story group at the library on Saturday. In the summer we'd do the story hour and the kids' chamber music concerts sometimes. Right now, at 4, she's in preschool 3 days a week and that's it. If there was the right dance class for our location and schedule we'd do it, but there isn't.

[leighi123]

So I guess I should just follow his lead right? And focus on right now.

I kinda dont know what we'd do all day if we didnt have activities to go to, there is only so much we can do around the house without wanting to go out, and its often too hot for the park and too much work to go to the beach/zoo

He LOVES all the stuff he is doing now, and usually is ready to go to the day's activity right when he wakes up (gymnastics for example doesn't start until 2:45!). When we get home, he is jumping up and down excited wanting to call his great grandma and tell her about it, or tell my mom/dad/sister (the kid is enthusiastic about everything)

None of the activities he is in right now are 'structured', just 'organized' in that there is a specific day/time that we go to them. They are all less than 10min from our house, and only last an hour at most. Everything is 'sign up a month at a time' except story time which is 'show up if you feel like it'

Gymnastics, its 'pre-gymnastics' at the rec center, non-competative, no recitals (until he is 6, and then its still optional). The instructor has 2 young kids herself, so is really good with them and its very 'child led' as far as what they do each time.

Science is a funny, silly guy who does all kinds of cool experiments and things with the kids. For example he talked about what does it mean to be 'alive' and brought in a whole bunch of lizards, frog, spiders, etc for the kids to touch/look at. Parents are very involved too and the kids are engaged the whole time. I also consider this part of his homeschooling, b/c science is one area that I am not good at thinking of activities for to do at home!

Library story time- she reads books, they do actions to a song, read some more books, and do a craft. Ds really likes books! We also pick out books to take home afterwards. We have been doing library story times sense he was 3months old and going to a baby program, I love the library!

We spend plenty of time at home reading books, doing stuff outside, swimming, taking to dog for walks/bike rides, doing homeschool activities, cooking, gardening, playing and doing nothing. We also travel fairly often, we are going to NY next week, TX in november and NV in december.
He doesnt nap (hasnt in 2yrs), but goes to bed very easily and sleeps for about 9 hours a night. He is one of those kids who is pretty much always happy, super easy going and seems to truly enjoy every little thing he does. He is an amazing kid!

[lonegirl]

Well, my son turns four next month....as far as organised activities....we did swimming lessons and gymboree...that's it.
the op's list of activities made me tired just reading it. lol

[waiting2bemommy]

If I could afford it ds would be in more activities. As it is he goes to preschool 3 days a week from 8-1 and that is ok, although I am hoping that after he turns three in december we will be financially able to send him 5 days a week.

If I could I would add soccer since he is an active kid and with winter coming soccer practice would be a great way to let off steam.

During the summer months I marked every single day with some sort of activity pulled from the local parenting magazine, the newspaper or whatever. Then, if we got around to it, great, if not, that was fine too. We probably did on average 3-5 things a week, most of them being one time only type things like movie night at the beach, special events at the library, etc.

You just can't do everything; there isn't enough time in the day!

[pianojazzgirl]

When dd was 3 we tried her in dance lessons and that was a disaster! Since then no organized activities (besides school) until Suzuki violin which she started at 5, and now, at 6, she's also added swimming lessons.

Ds just turned 3 and doesn't do any organized activities.

I think I have an aversion to organization, lol!

OP - sounds like things are going great with your ds. The activities you describe sound pretty low-key (not too demanding or structured), and it's cool that you can sign up on a month-to-month basis! If you wanted to add more activities I say why not. Maybe add them one at a time though, just to make sure that it doesn't get to be too much.

BTW, Suzuki violin I am a huge fan of, but does require considerably more commitment than the activities you're already involved in.... just something to think about...

ETA of all the other activities you've mentioned I think the one I'd be most eager to get him in would be swimming. I really wish I hadn't waited this long with dd (and ds). During her lesson time there's also a toddler/parent class happening and it's amazing seeing all these little ones swimming like fishies! And the kids in dd's "Junior 1" level that have been swimming since they were tiny are so amazingly at ease in the water. Next session I'm definitely going to sign ds up as well. I think basic swimming skills are a pretty important safety tool.

[leighi123]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy

If I could afford it ds would be in more activities. As it is he goes to preschool 3 days a week from 8-1 and that is ok, although I am hoping that after he turns three in december we will be financially able to send him 5 days a week.

If I could I would add soccer since he is an active kid and with winter coming soccer practice would be a great way to let off steam.

During the summer months I marked every single day with some sort of activity pulled from the local parenting magazine, the newspaper or whatever. Then, if we got around to it, great, if not, that was fine too. We probably did on average 3-5 things a week, most of them being one time only type things like movie night at the beach, special events at the library, etc.

You just can't do everything; there isn't enough time in the day!

See thats what I like to do too, always have something to do at least as an option! Luckily for me, the rec center classes are super cheap, and the library is free, so the 1-2 days a month I babysit for ds's little friend (more like a playdate!) covers the cost of ds's classes.

[leighi123]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl

When dd was 3 we tried her in dance lessons and that was a disaster! Since then no organized activities (besides school) until Suzuki violin which she started at 5, and now, at 6, she's also added swimming lessons.

Ds just turned 3 and doesn't do any organized activities.

I think I have an aversion to organization, lol!

OP - sounds like things are going great with your ds. The activities you describe sound pretty low-key (not too demanding or structured), and it's cool that you can sign up on a month-to-month basis! If you wanted to add more activities I say why not. Maybe add them one at a time though, just to make sure that it doesn't get to be too much.

BTW, Suzuki violin I am a huge fan of, but does require considerably more commitment than the activities you're already involved in.... just something to think about...

ETA of all the other activities you've mentioned I think the one I'd be most eager to get him in would be swimming. I really wish I hadn't waited this long with dd (and ds). During her lesson time there's also a toddler/parent class happening and it's amazing seeing all these little ones swimming like fishies! And the kids in dd's "Junior 1" level that have been swimming since they were tiny are so amazingly at ease in the water. Next session I'm definitely going to sign ds up as well. I think basic swimming skills are a pretty important safety tool.

A family friend told us about Suzuki and she thinks ds would be perfect for it (both of her adult children started the program at 3yrs old), I am sooo not musically inclined, but ds seems to be, and he keeps talking about wanting to 'learn real music' and those 'music together' type classes are not something I like at all (we went to a trial one). I have only heard good things about Suzuki, but we may wait until next year b/c they usually start at 4 here.

As for swimming, ds is an ISR graduate and an awesome swimmer. We have a pool at our house so he is in it almost every day. He can float on his back for a very long time, swim all over the pool, dive to the bottom, climb out of the pool on his own, swims underwater eyes open, and I can literally throw him into the middle of the pool and he knows what to do to get out (usually he stays in to play). So if I put him in swimming again, it would be for him to learn stroke development. B/c of his swimming level, he would be in a class with kids who are all older than him (the 5-6yr old class). I'm sure he would enjoy it, but I dont know if its worth the cost this year anyway b/c he has opportunity to practice at home whenever he wants!

[snoopy5386]

Last year when my now 4 yo was 3 we'd have activities 4-5 days a week- 2 days a week at a co-op homeschool preschool group, one day a week of music class and then 1-2 days a week of playdates. She stopped napping just after turning 3 and the days are long!

She loved it, is super social and would come home after being out at a playdate for hours and then immediately ask to go play at the neighbors for more hours.

So I would follow his lead.