"But the baby NEEDS his own space!"

[Phantaja]

I'm TTC again with more meds and IUI, so (hopefully) this go-round will produce a child.

I work from home and live alone in a two bedroom house, using the second bedroom as an office. I plan to finish the basement someday, but not in the next year or so.

A good girlfriend and I were talking about my living space and the (fingers crossed) baby to be. She asked me if I was going to work in the basement after I had a baby. I told her no, that my office was going to stay my office for the foreseeable future.

She jumped all over me, saying that the baby NEEDS his own room. I told her that I planned to co-sleep, but then she hit me with a barrage of questions. "What about toys?" (toybox. Corner of the living room or under the bed." "What about clothes?" (Lingerie chest maybe? I don't know.) "Where are you going to put his swing and crib and highchair?" (Ummm...hmmm. Living room or office, my room, if I chose to buy a crib, and the kitchen?) She was pretty disgusted with my answers.

When I was married, for a while me, DH, and my two stepchildren lived in a one bedroom apartment. They were babies and toddlers. We managed. But I'm wondering if we managed because we HAD to, KWIM?

By the time I'm ready for the kiddo to have his/her own space, I'll either finish the basement or buy another house. But that's at least two years down the line. At minimum. Maybe even closer to three or four because there's a daybed in my office.

But maybe I'm wrong. I know that co sleeping is pretty popular around here, but do little babies need their own space right away?

[AFWife]

DS didn't want his own space!!! He had to be cuddled up with someone at all times (or sleeping in a swing) I have a long dresser and half is full of my clothes and his are in the other side. Honestly, for the first year or so you can clear out a single drawer and use that. I rarely changed his clothes unless they got really dirty...You don't need as many outfits as you'll probably be given.

Toys are another thing you DON'T need a ton of...my son STILL loves to play with tupperware and lids instead of the stuff people bought him. So, a few good quality toys and then random baby-safe items work just fine.

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by AFWife

DS didn't want his own space!!! He had to be cuddled up with someone at all times (or sleeping in a swing) I have a long dresser and half is full of my clothes and his are in the other side. Honestly, for the first year or so you can clear out a single drawer and use that. I rarely changed his clothes unless they got really dirty...You don't need as many outfits as you'll probably be given.

Toys are another thing you DON'T need a ton of...my son STILL loves to play with tupperware and lids instead of the stuff people bought him. So, a few good quality toys and then random baby-safe items work just fine.

All of the above is true for us except the clothes storage-- but a lingerie cabinet like you said, or a plastic drawer set from Target should do the trick!

[Peace+Hope]

our "baby's room" is a guest room with some toys and clothing that he's grown out of or not yet grown into stored there.

all of his current clothes are in one little cube in my closet, and he sleeps with us. i keep diapers in two changing station locations (have 2 floors), and a few toys in different parts of the house so i don't have to be carrying the few we have from place to place.

i wouldn't think most people who use swings/exersaucers/other big items, use them in a nursery anyway...

i can't imagine even an older child "needing" their own space, if sharing is all they know, which is the case for most children of the world!

[Mama Mko]

Yeah, your kid doesn't need his own space. Your friend is wrong. My kids have their own rooms but still sleep in our room and choose to hang out in the main rooms (dining/living room/family bedroom) most of the time anyway.

[AislinCarys]

We lived in a tiny 1 bedroom flat when DD was born, with a small living area/kitchen. It really wasn't a problem until she was walking. But then it started to feel crowded.

We had a basket for her next to our bed, but she refused it and slept in our room. We did get a baby bouncer for her, which she rarely used. We changed her on the bed, in our laps, on the floor, because I didn't want a changing table. The first toys she actually played with (we had a few stuffed animals, a teething peg, a play silk, a rattle), was the clothes pegs off the line and the washing rack, when she was around 6 months old. Although she loved books, so we got a basket full of books for her. She didn't start playing more with any toys, including cds and containers, until she was about 12 months old. And we kept her clothes and nappies and blankets in one drawer in my chest of drawers, later we moved them to tiny baskets on a shelf in the living room, because that was easier.

DD is 2 1/2, and we now live in a very nice, but small 2 bedroom flat. The spare room is for storage. We still co-sleep, DDs clothes are in one drawer in the chest of drawers, and she has a toys i her own toy corner in the living room - which is where she wants to play anyway! I worked as a nanny for many years, and the children have always brought their toys to play with them close to me.

While some babies do like lying down, or sitting in a bouncer or swing, and might need their own space in a way, I really don't think that little children need their own room. I shared a room with my sister until I was 7, and not because of lack of space, but because until then we enjoyed being together, and not until then did we start to need our own space.

[MJB]

My kids didn't have a bedroom until they were 5 and 2. Until my oldest was 2 we lived in a 1 bedroom. Shortly after he turned 2 we moved to a 3 BR where we all shared a bedroom and used the other rooms as an office and a playroom. My second was born there and we all coslept. When they were 5 and 2 we moved to a 2BR and they got one of them.

[texmati]

no... my son has a bedroom, which i'm not sure he even knows is there. We did paint it in a fit of nesting. But now that dd is otw, i'm not giving up my craft room.

[dakotablue]

My DS has his own bedroom. We keep his clothes in two dressers in there, one for current clothes and one for the next size. His changing table is in there.

Truthfully its our DTD room, just decorated with animals .

[SilverFish]

we have a two bedroom apartment. one bedroom is ours, the other is the office. the baby doesn't get her own room :P.

that's not strictly true, but it's very fluid right now. sometimes she needs to sleep with us, and sometimes she sleeps in her crib... which is in the office. actually, we finally painted it and put her crib back in there and are decorating it a bit, so half is the office and half is hers. i only did that in anticipation of her eventually STTN again, which sure enough, she started doing as soon as her teeth came through. and the bedroom was starting to feel a little cramped with the crib and all her paraphenalia crammed in there, but we have a very small bedroom.

if it's just you, you'll probably want to keep her in your room anyway, even if you had multiple bedrooms to choose from! our tiny bedroom with two adults and a baby/toddler is a bit cramped, but if it were just me and her, i'd definitely make one room the sleeping room.

[PoetryLover]

We have a 1 bedroom apartment and DS sleeps with us. We do have a changing table that we also use to store his clothes. He has a wicker basket of toys, a few cloth and board books. His exersaucer and high chair are in the kitchen. The swing was in the kitchen before he outgrew it. (I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. LOL)

We do plan to move to a bigger place in the near future, as my 11 year old DSD is coming to live with us full time, and she definitely needs her own room. But we were fine in a one bedroom apartment with just the baby and the two of us.

[mrs.t]

I have a 3 bedroom house, which we moved into when I was 8 months pregnant. It needs a lot of work, so the nursery was not a priority when we moved in. DS is now 6 months old and it still isn't even painted. He has slept in his co-sleeper occasionally, but mostly he sleeps in our bed. His clothes are in a plastic set of drawers beside my dresser. He was colicky, so I had an assortment of swings, bouncers, etc. and they were all in my living room. Yes, it was crowded, but now he has outgrown everything and it's all in the basement. Even if he had a room I would have had that stuff in the living room because it allowed me to watch TV, clean up, or cook dinner while he was in sight.

That being said, it's starting to get annoying not having a proper dresser for him, only because it's getting colder and his clothes are bulkier. He has a ton of baby books that I have no place for. I also would have liked a rocking chair, but didn't have one because it just wouldn't fit in our living room. Other than that, it hasn't been an issue. The only reason I have been bugging DH to get the room done now is for naps. DS started rolling and crawling, and I don't feel safe leaving him on our bed anymore, so it would be nice to have a dark, quiet, room with a crib. He used to sleep through anything but now he needs the room just so in order to sleep well. Also, I don't know if you plan on nursing, but he went through a nursing strike where he would only nurse in a quiet, distraction free area. It would have been nice to have a nursery for that, but we got through it without one. So, no rush on the separate room. We're still doing fine without it!

[red and lulu]

my mother has been saying this since day one. dd is 14 mo and sleeps in bed with me. we live in a small 2 bdrm. apt and recently turned "her room" (the 2nd bedroom) into the office, since the office in the living room wasn't working and she never used "her room" which essentially held her clothes, diapers, and a few toys. my mom was apoplectic — "but she needs her own space!" dd doesn't seem to want her own space AT ALL. she never wants to be alone.

i find that people who aren't parents or of my mother's generation are the ones who think babies need their own space. or those who themselves need their own space....

[Abraisme]

Yup, babies don't need or want their own space. They want to be in your space for the first several years. You're totally right. My DD is almost 14mo and the only "space" she has is a dresser full of clothes.. When she's 2-3 we'll make her a bed of her own, which could still be in our room. Kids probably don't NEED their own space until they're 5 or 6.

[Adaline'sMama]

Yes, babies need their own space. You can set them down on a quilt to play and that is enough of their "own space".

Your friends comments are silly, a baby doesnt know if it has its own room. The baby has no concept of the space around it being yours or his. If you put a mat down on the floor, and put his toys on it, its HIS space. And really, does a baby/toddler really care what piece of furniture you store his clothes in? No.

Co sleeping is awesome! We share our room with DD and its totally fine. It pretty much still compltely looks like an adults room, and it will stay that way until I feel comfortable night weaning. Even then, she may still want to sleep with us. We have a toybox that is a wooden chest with seats on the top, so its its multipurpose. We do have a packnplay as a sidecar, but we seldomly use it. It is a great place for her to play now that she is starting to be a little mobile.

Good luck on TTC!!

[octobermom]

I give birth to kids that DO sleep better overall in there own space... I also am a big cosleeping advocate and have lived in small spaces...
Our set up with our first child at birth was very similiar to yours 2 bedrooms one set up as an office. We kept this arrangment even after baby was born... She co-roomed with us, I followed her lead as to when shes dirrectly coslept VS say side carred her crib or even just slept on her own but she was still in our room.. I'd have the baby with me no matter what because I simpily feel a child that young needs to be in mommies reach and view regardless if they do sleep better in there own space..
We did corooming for about 2 years around that time yea a space of her OWN did start to look appealing.. We were getting more issues with her wanting to take out every toy or gettting into mommys makeup or taking all the bussiness cards outta daddies wallet ect nothing horrid but it was getting tirdsome... Her introverted ways meant us trying to find the balance between allowing her "priviate" play time that she desired and having to always watch her to make sure she wasn't getting into things she shouldn't..
We happened to move when shes was Just shy of 2 years in our new space we decided to make the second bedroom hers and move the computer to the lving area.. We bought a toddler bed for her and a dresser and set up her room.. We totally did NOT expect her to sleep in it right away we figured between being used to our room and the move ect she'd be pretty clingy...
Yea nope she took one look at her new bed tweety bird cover and shelf with a few of her toys and was like see ya I'm sleeping in here... And yea that was pretty much the end of cosleeping for her. Nutty kid...
Yet even though shes about to turn 8 she is still 100% in our bed if shes ever needs to be.
What my ranting means... You'll figure it out even if baby does "need" a space that doesn't need to be a whole nuther room.. and if and when the day comes you'll know..

Deanna

[whozeyermamma]

I don't think kids "need" their own space until they want to play independently (and can be trusted to do so.)

So that's - what - 3?

[texmati]

Originally Posted by dakotablue

My DS has his own bedroom. We keep his clothes in two dressers in there, one for current clothes and one for the next size. His changing table is in there.

Truthfully its our DTD room, just decorated with animals .

lol! that's what we use the nursery for too. totally wrong mood, but whatever works!

[tsfairy]

No, he doesn't need his own space, he needs his momma.

I bowed to pressure from family and set up a whole nursery for my first baby. Crib, dresser, changing table, the works. We barely set foot in there for months. He slept with me, I kept all his diapers and clothes in a cosleeper next to my bed, I changed him on the bed, he was in my arms or a sling 90% of each day. When he was old enough to play with toys, he didn't want to be in a room away from me, so his toys migrated into the living room and my (our) bedroom.

With the 2nd baby I didn't even bother with a room for him. We just set up the crib next to our bed for a little extra sleeping space (it was a great space for the toddler to jump, but not much else lol.)

Even now, my 3&5yos don't want their own space. We all sleep in a big bed together, they play in the living room, despite having their own playroom.

[ChetMC]

Don't Worry

Don't worry about what your friend thinks. Meet your baby and figure out what he or she needs. You figure it out as you go along based on your baby's personality, and the needs of your household.

DH and I shared a room with our girls until they were 2.5 and 4. Our boys are nearly 1 and 29 months, and they are still in with DH and I now. They'll move to a room that they'll share when the baby is ready.

It is very reasonable to start out planning to share a room with a baby. Most people will find they a child can manage without their own room until they're somewhere between 2 or 5. A bedroom for a newborn is very low on my list of priorities.