Being asked this question: "Where are they from?" - Page 2

[torinsmom]

My son is biracial(dad is black, I am white) and I would get asked if he took after his dad when he was young. I think that was some people's polite way of asking if he was mine or not. When he first started high school, he said he was asked a lot "what" he was by other students. He just told them he was mixed and usually got comments about how nice his skin was or how pretty his eyes were(they are bright blue). Doesn't seem to bother him at all.

BTW, he is also mistaken for hispanic at times. I had to teach him how to say "No habla espanol" when he was younger, because spanish speaking people would just start speaking to him in spanish. I guess he does look kind of Puerto Rican....

Marsha

[AutumnW]

I am white and dh is half philipino/white.  Everyone thinks dh is mexican, even people who actually are from mexico.  Our youngest ds looks more like dh but people often say how much ods looks like me and then ask where ods got his curly blond hair in a way that makes me think they are questioning whether dh is his real father or if I have a secret, lol.

[LessTraveledBy]

I am from Northern Europe and dh is from the USA (mixed European ancestry). The funny things is that I have got so many comments about how dd looks like a typical child of my country. I answer "Yeah... and it took a foreign dad to have that." 

I have also got dozens of comments about how dd looks just like me. In reality, she looks more like my sister and my dh (good thing I know I gave birth to her... hah). Somehow the blue eyes and blonde hair just make people make this comment. Yet, when I am somewhere with my sister and dd, people automatically think she is my sister's daughter. (How much "just like me" can she look then... esp., as my sister and I don't really look alike, other than being blonde and blue eyed.)

[Whistler]

Originally Posted by Theoretica 

Now, being asked how much they COST...that kinda got me a little snarkytwitched.

As an adoptive mom of a biracial little guy, I get this question from time to time and it never fails to floor me.  Uh... why would that possibly be ANY of your business?  I didn't buy him from Baby GAP for Pete's sake!!! 

I just answer:  Oh, he's priceless.  :)

[goinggreengirl]

I'm preparing myself for this in the future. DH is a very dark Filipino and I'm very white. Right now baby is a good mix of us both, but I'm sure when he's older and outside a lot, he'll darken up like his dad and won't look like me!

And to "You shouldn't breastfeed other people's babies." Hahaha. Did she think you picked up some random baby and latched it on?

[texmati]

I just wanted to agree with the pp who said to watch your reactions in front of your kids. I'm ethnically indian, my parents are from india, my grandparents, cousins etc are all indian. But I have pale-ish skin and green eyes. I developed quite a complex because people were constantly commenting on how I don't look like I belong in my family.

[GranolaMom82]

I'm American/white (brown hair, haze eyes, fair skin) and my Husband is Kurdish from Northern Iraq (Black curly hair, dark brow eyes, & naturally tan complexion) & I lived there with him & his family for 2 years. Our son was born there & was about 1 when we went to the US Embassy in Baghdad to get DS's passport and certificate of US citizenship. The embassy worker who was trying to take DS's passport photo said, "He is so cute! He looks just like an American boy!" I just had to laugh and tell her that's because he IS an American boy. He got my lighter coloring & brown hair and his Daddy's dark brown eyes.

DS is getting a little sister very soon & I'm hoping she gets Daddy's beautiful black curls and my hazel eyes!

[peaceful_mama]

What I find interesting is I *RARELY* get this from random white strangers in stores and the like.  But I think where I am, people tend to wait till they know you a bit first...I *do* get "what nationality is their dad?" once in awhile from people who've just met us and hear their last name.

What I *do* get is, there's a fairly goodsized population of recent immigrants and refugees from African countries here.  DH is from Sudan.  I *often* get African people asking which country the kids' dad is from.

[cappuccinosmom]

I have to admit, dh (Ethiopian) and I (white American) will sometimes ask.  Not to be snarky or anything like that.  We can both spot people who are from Africa and usually their children in a crowd. We are intrested because families like ours are unusual and we are always looking for people who can relate to us and understand the particular issues we face as a mixed-race and cross-cultural family.  Now, if it's me asking, and my dh and kids arent around, you might just assume I'm just a white ignoramus who's spouting nonsense for no reason.

 For dh it's a sense of "Ah, someone who knows what it's like to be an African in America.  Maybe we can relate!!!!!  Stay right here, I'm going to see if I can catch them and "friend" them".    I did once outdo him by spotting an Ethiopian family at the museum when he didn't.  He wanted me to explain, and I could only say that I "just knew", because that's what it was.  We went on to enjoy some good times with that family. 

The last time someone aske me where my kids were from, I was really glad she did, because it turned into a great conversation.  She was a white, middle-class, middle-aged lady, curator at a small local art museum.  She was *so* excited by my positive response to her, because, as she told me, her son was getting ready to propose to his girlfriend who was from East Africa and she was soooooo excited about it.  Not many people in this area would understand that excitement.  So we had a great conversation about that area of the continent and how awesome and beautiful it is etc, etc.  If I'd snarked at her we would have missed out, and I'm glad I didn't. 

[aclee]

As a white Momma with two adopted children of color I get not only, "Where are they from?" but "What are they?" and "When did you get them?"