Fed up and ready to quit EI. Need some advice before next IFSP.

[APToddlerMama]

DS is 2.5 and has been in EI since 16 months (OT, PT, and speech).

Long story short, I've worked in EI before, and in the past year, the progress that has been made I attribute mainly to diet, not to any specific intervention. I think I've picked up about 10 minutes of useful info from the therapists, and the rest of the time has been wasted. The worst part is that DS HATES therapy and his particular therapists are not skilled (and we can't afford private). They are unable to directly work with him because he doesn't like them. Every session is extremely stressful. Today he tried to yank down the blinds and purposely spilled my coffee all over the carpet during a crying tantrum telling them "byeeeeeeee, bye, bye, byyyyyyyyyyye" and that was just as they arrived. I don't want to do it anymore but he is still significantly delayed. I don't see that we are gaining anything from them coming, but it doesn't feel right to quit when he's so delayed.

So, just want thoughts on how terrible of a mother it would make me to take a loooong extended break from therapy.

[laurata]

Personally, I would not feel bad about telling them you are going to take a break. You'll age out of EI in the spring anyway. I would sandwich the fact that you feel there are personality conflicts in between complimenting them on their efforts, but remain firm that as his mother, this is the decision you are making.

I would have trouble standing firm though.

[Emmeline II]

Well, if he is not getting any benefit I don't see the point in continuing to take him.

[mom2sander]

I've had a therapist that I wasn't happy with, that my son would run and hide, or try to get rid of them as well. You have the right to request a different therapist within EI. It makes sense to do it, even if you are close to ending EI, because many many therapists will transition with you into CPSE. My son transitioned with all of his therapists, and has had the same OT since he was 15 months old.

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by mom2sander

I've had a therapist that I wasn't happy with, that my son would run and hide, or try to get rid of them as well. You have the right to request a different therapist within EI. It makes sense to do it, even if you are close to ending EI, because many many therapists will transition with you into CPSE. My son transitioned with all of his therapists, and has had the same OT since he was 15 months old.

Well....I would...but we're already on our second speech therapist . The first speech therapist had SERIOUS problems other than just being ineffective. I worked in EI in another county so I know there are some great EI therapists. It just seems like the ones we've ended up with are not so great. DS is in OT solely for sensory, and the OT actually said to me "well, you probably know a lot more about sensory stuff than I do but I'm willing to research any questions you have. I'm taking a class next week on it that is for parents. You could come." Speech therapist seems similarly clueless and PT is a little better but comes in reeking of smoke and is just a little scary to a sensitive kid. I'd be totally embarrassed to say that all three therapists were just not quite what I was looking for, kwim?

[Fay]

BTDT. Pull him out of EI. And don't feel guilty about it.

[jennabean]

My son has Pt and Speech, both with very skilled, seasoned therapists... and truthfully, I'm still not sure its b/c of their help that my son is improving... if it weren't for the fact that he should be getting therapy, I'd consider stopping it, kwim?

We did take a break for the summer and it was lovely not to have to arrange our weeks around his appts. and just be.

My son enjoy's his sessions though, so I feel overall its worthwhile but if I felt the way you, very validly feel about your son's therapists I truly would stop... and to my way of thinking you thank them for their time, but owe no one an explanation or excuse unless you want to.

Best of luck

[marge234]

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama

Well....I would...but we're already on our second speech therapist . The first speech therapist had SERIOUS problems other than just being ineffective. I worked in EI in another county so I know there are some great EI therapists. It just seems like the ones we've ended up with are not so great. DS is in OT solely for sensory, and the OT actually said to me "well, you probably know a lot more about sensory stuff than I do but I'm willing to research any questions you have. I'm taking a class next week on it that is for parents. You could come." Speech therapist seems similarly clueless and PT is a little better but comes in reeking of smoke and is just a little scary to a sensitive kid. I'd be totally embarrassed to say that all three therapists were just not quite what I was looking for, kwim?

Your son deserves good therapists. "You know more about sensory stuff than I do" is candid--and that's wonderful--but that's not good enough. I know it's tough but push for better before giving up. Try not to be embarrassed. You're sticking up for what your son needs. If it doesn't get you anywhere you haven't lost anything by trying. You can do it mama!

[AllieFaye]

We had a nightmare experience with ECI with our first child. They gave us nothing, but lied to us, manipulated us and invaded our privacy. We walked away and I felt empowered at the time. I had slight regrets as time went on. Then, I had a second child who has had an amazing experience - and radically different. Now I deeply regret not understanding my rights and what the program was all about. I realize that I should have kept going up the chain, until our problems were addressed. Leaving before transistioning to the next program has made getting the right services now far more difficult than it has to be. We are currently working with them on delevoping our local programs. It is so empowering! I'm helping them get better, and my sons are doing better as well. The point of EI is not merely the services for the child, but the services for the family as a whole. Having walked away without doing everything I could to fix things before - I would never repeat that mistake. Even if it can't be fixed, just going through the process of doing what I can do to fix it is better. I'm not the only mom who has had problems, and I won't be the last. But, they can't improve if the people who have problems just leave and don't address them.

[APToddlerMama]

An update...

Thank you for all the replies!! I really do appreciate it. We ended up having the IFSP meeting and I felt really terrible saying it, but I basically told our service coordinator and her supervisor that the level of experience the therapists we've been working with is not acceptable. So...in the end we ended up "trading" our unexperienced speech therapist's once/week visits for a very experienced therapist coming once/month. With OT there apparently are no better options (for which she apologizes...) so we are dropping that down to a monthly session just to monitor fine motor and PT will be bi-weekly (I actually am moderately happy with the PT). I feel okay about the whole thing. I am therapied out myself and feel like I have the tools to do what needs to be done especially now that we'll be consulting with a decent SLP.

Thanks again Mamas! It helps to have insight from those who have BTDT!

[AnalogWife]

Congrats! I completely know what the "therapied-out" feeling is like, I desperately wanted to end ours, it was getting us nowhere, and a friend once told me that she just flat-out told the therapist that it "wasn't working out" and that she was going to end it, and I was SO JEALOUS of her nerve to say that, because I'm too much of a wimp. Hopefully your new schedule will work out much better.