What happens when the SaHP is ill

[Masel]

I have a cold that is kicking my butt. Still I'm the one getting up with our one year old. I've completely given up on house hold chores for the week. My mom came over yesterday for a couple hours. DH is at a critical part of the work project. He had to work over the weekend and has been getting home late. I do NOT want him tired on his morning commute.
There just doesn't seem to be any way to get enough rest to recover.

I don't get sick very often and I'm pretty independent. I guess I haven't cultivated a support system for times like this.

[ancoda]

So sorry you are sick.

As far as what happens when I am sick, things pile up, and I do as little as possible. DH very ralily sees what needs to be done, and claims incompetence with cooking, so I tend to have to still cook all the meals, and do a few household chorse such as washing the diapers, and things like that. I have no support system to help, I have no family need that can help, and I have no IRL friends.

Try to do as little as you can and conserve as much energy as you can to get better.

[november]

Oh no, that is the pits! I hope you feel better soon.

This has only happened for us once. Thankfully, I am never, ever sick so it's not been much of an issue. But one day I had a migraine so bad I couldn't even open my eyes or get out of bed. Needless to say, DH stayed home and took care of her daughter. He didn't have much of a choice! Thankfully, he has an employer who understands. In fact, boss's wife volunteered to babysit if that ever happens again...lol!

[LionessMom]

that is what i do. i do as little as possible to survive and then catch up when i feel better. DH does very little here but will cook when i am sick. as long as diapers get changed and garbage goes outside and everybody has eaten something we are all good.

[kittywitty]

I keep on doing what I'm doing. Whether it's just having given birth or mastitis or the flu, nobody takes over and helps, so I drag on.

[Masel]

If I really insisted I could probably get him to stay home but I've not that bad off yet. We took a good nap today which helped some.

[CherryBombMama]

my moms comes over to help, or i go over there

dh THINKS he helps when i am sick, but when i say the baby needs a bath and to be fed, and to do the dishes, he folds the laundry and takes the baby to go play in the garage

*sigh*

[Annie Mac]

Two words: bare minimum. The ONLY thing that needs to happen is that you & baby get fed, and that baby has a clean diaper. It's totally OK to park the LO in front of Sesame Street while you zone out on the couch. Don't worry about the dishes, the laundry, the floors, walking the dog...anything. That stuff will wait for you

[SaraC]

My DH will usually pick up the slack if he isn't sick as well. I usually will just do the bare minium like feed the kids who aren't in school and change diapers. We watch a lot of TV and just hang out. I don't feel guilty at all and once I have recovered then we catch back up. But overall if laundry, dishes, baths, etc need to be done he will do it all. He is military so he can't always get off but he will do it once he is home. I also have a few friends who would do carpool for me or just come get my littles and let me rest alone. My family all live 12 hours away so I feel very lucky to have a great DH and some really great friends here.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by Annie Mac

Two words: bare minimum. The ONLY thing that needs to happen is that you & baby get fed, and that baby has a clean diaper. It's totally OK to park the LO in front of Sesame Street while you zone out on the couch. Don't worry about the dishes, the laundry, the floors, walking the dog...anything. That stuff will wait for you

Yep.

If I'm sick, I focus on keeping the babies fed and in clean diapers, and on keeping myself fed so I can get better, and that's pretty much it. My husband can't take off work when I'm sick, but he will try to lend an extra hand when he gets home.

[calebsmommy25]

I totally agree with everyone here. Do as little as possible, and rest. DP generally works too much to be home to take care of me, DS and/or the house when I am sick, so I do the bare necessities and do the rest when I feel better. It is hard because I can't stand a messy house. I try to come up with as many games or things to do while I'm laying on the couch with DS. His favorite is when we do sock puppets. Totally pulled that one out of my butt once when I was desparate and he LOVES it.

Hope you feel better Mama. Take care.

[mom2happy]

Originally Posted by kittywitty

I keep on doing what I'm doing. Whether it's just having given birth or mastitis or the flu, nobody takes over and helps, so I drag on.

Me too, it is what it is- right?

[IsaFrench]

best advice I saw in a book (although I freaked out when reading it) was ; if you need to sleep so badly because you are ill, lock yourself in a childproof room with your child, lie down on something comfy but on the floor, toys scattered about, you might end up with a child who sits on you or try to play with you or some of your body parts but you can still try to aim for a few micro naps since you know that the room is child proofed and locked .

[SubliminalDarkness]

Just keep going at a bare minimum level. Nothing gets done in the house. DH doesn't pick up any slack. And once I'm starting to feel slightly more human, I have to deal with all the mess that piled up, like days worth of dishes. Not fun.

[Masel]

My DH is usually pretty good about doing stuff. On Monday he cleaned out the fridge. Yay. But now there is a pile of empty gladware containers that desperately need to be washed. Boo. Usually he'll do the dishes if I cook but he's so exhausted from work he's not done them. The counter is a perfect storm of undone dishes. (Yeah, I cooked. DD1 has allergies so even if I ordered out I'd still have to fix something for her.)

[mamazee]

My dh stays home and takes over, but he doesn't do things as completely as I would like. He doesn't keep the kitchen clean or vacuum or anything. He also doesn't cook. If I'm sick, it's takeout.

[jellybeanandkids]

My DH is in the Navy and has been deployed or just stuck at work and unable to come home and help me many times when I have been really sick. It sucks and I feel badly for any mama that has to deal with it too. I also have no relatives close by at all, so it's all on me.
This is what I do:

Survival mode. This means, kids might eat cereal all day long and drink juice boxes, wear their PJ's all day. I do the bare minimum that I can manage (and now that ds is older he can help me a bit, but when he was younger I did what I could.) I make sure kids are fed, changed and such of course.
But they watch a lot of TV/ video games.
When DS was smaller and I was sick, he'd come lay on the bed with me and watch TV and also bring me books and games and I'd read/play with him in bed.

When I am feeling better I deal with the fallout, like messy kitchen and whatnot. But I try not to worry about that when I am sick.

If DH is home, he helps out when he gets home from work.

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,
I, like other moms, tend to do the bare minimum when I am sick, but I can zget help from DH...
When DD1 was a baby, I got sick and asked DH to stay at home with her while I rested. He said I could easily take care of her and rest. It frustrated me, but we survived. A few days later DH came down with the same illness. I calmly got up, got dressed, and got ready to leave the house. DH asked what I was doing. I replied, "You can easily take care of DD when you are sick." and left the house for a few hours (two errands and a nice long quiet cup of coffee at Starbucks). When I got home, DH apologized for not helping out with DD when I was sick.
Since then, if I ask, he'll come home early, hire a babysitter, whatever, to help me when I'm sick. BC I know he'll do that for me, I try to limit it to when I *really* need help, not just when I have a cold. :-)
~maddymama

[sere234]

Originally Posted by maddymama

Hi Mama,
I, like other moms, tend to do the bare minimum when I am sick, but I can zget help from DH...
When DD1 was a baby, I got sick and asked DH to stay at home with her while I rested. He said I could easily take care of her and rest. It frustrated me, but we survived. A few days later DH came down with the same illness. I calmly got up, got dressed, and got ready to leave the house. DH asked what I was doing. I replied, "You can easily take care of DD when you are sick." and left the house for a few hours (two errands and a nice long quiet cup of coffee at Starbucks). When I got home, DH apologized for not helping out with DD when I was sick.
Since then, if I ask, he'll come home early, hire a babysitter, whatever, to help me when I'm sick. BC I know he'll do that for me, I try to limit it to when I *really* need help, not just when I have a cold. :-)
~maddymama

That is priceless

[Peony]

I deal with it usually by doing the least that I can do to get children somewhat fed and off to their regular things (school, etc...), and letting everything else go. Twice in 8 years have I had two illnesses that kicked my butt, like unable to move out of bed. I am ill often, 3 children and they seem to bring home every germ known to man so there is no possible way DH is going to take off *just* for a cold ever how miserable I may be. He doesn't take off work when he is sick either. There is no rest when you are the boss.

The first time I was knocked down with an illness, DD1 was 6 months old, it was a severe stomach bug, the lose 5 lbs in 24 hours kind, and I was so weak I wouldn't walk or even pick her up. DH left and I had to call my mom to come care for DD1. Once I recovered I made it clear that I wouldn't ask for him to stay home unless I really needed it. last winter I got influenza and strep at the same time and was very ill. I fell down the stairs just trying to get myself down from the bedroom. DS was a baby and non-mobile so DH had to stay home and care for him.