My DH "needs" a $20,000+ car... help! Wisdom appreciated...

[heymama1plus1]

My 6'7" DH is a public health nurse and he drives 300ish miles a day. He goes to many rural areas with dirt roads, which will get tricky in the Midwest winter. He just started this job 6 months ago, and it's the first nursing job he's been passionate about in over a decade (and he's finally off nights!).

The problem is that he's developed back pain since starting this job, getting progressively worse where I'm worried he won't be able to do this job for the next 30 years (or any nursing job, if he really messes up his back). The car he has now he physically fits in, but it has no back support and he has to slouch to see out the windshield. He likens it to me having to drive a clown car for 8-12 hours a day.

Since this is his mobile office and he spends so much time in it, he wants the perfect car. Here's his wish list:

1. Will fit his 6'7" frame (knocks out 95% of cars right there) with a lumbar support that hits in the right area.

2. All wheel drive for the back roads

3. Good gas milage

4. Trunk/ hatch big enough to fit his equipment and ideally big enough to fit the kids in the back seat comfortably (3 and 6).

5. (more of a want) Peppy and fun to drive (he really loves to drive!! was a race car driver in a former life)

Well, apparently the only things that meet these criteria are luxury sedans and mini-SUVs (Lexus, Infinity, BMW). The newer models have the adjustable lumbar that he needs, and we want to get one with around 50,000 miles so he can drive it for a long time. He's literally been test driving car after car every day after work for over a month and that's the conclusion he's come to. He's very thorough with his research (enjoys it quite a bit-- the thrill of the hunt!).

My suggestions to him are buy a after market lumbar support... tried a couple, no good. We have one on order that is electronic (like a whole seat cover) and moves up and down but if he puts that in our car he'll lose 3-4 inches of leg room so I'm not sure it'll work.

I also suggested he needs to see a doctor and see if there's anything they can do, but I do agree that we regardless he needs something new since he can't be slouching all the time.

We're big Dave Ramsey-ites (BS 6!!) and we'll buy it private party for a steal and pay cash, but it's KILLING us... I drive a $3000 car and he drives $6000 car and I'd be embarrassed to have such a fancy car. It's just not us. Plus imagine what else that money could do?!?

Appreciate fresh, outside eyes on this. We have the money, I support whatever he needs to do to save his back and enjoy his job but there just HAS to be a different way...

[just_lily]

I think criterias 1 to 4 are reasonable.... can you work on #5? There has to be an SUV that will fit him that isn't a Lexus or BMW.

[taramoon13]

how about subaru? don't know about it fitting his frame, but i'd say it fits all the other criteria. gas mileage is comparable to the suvs you mentioned. it's our "dream" family car!!!

[texmati]

umm... for number 1, is it possible to put something on his seat to make it more comfy? like one of those seat cushion pad dealies?

Also-- I drive a toyota camry (hear me out!) but with a v6 engine. People always compliment me on how it drives. It does have less efficient gas millage, but the bigger engine really puts the zoom in my vroom. Maybe be a bit more openminded about number 5?

[Annie Mac]

I can't think of any way to *avoid* the driving, given his job. Given that he needs to traverse so much distance to carry out his work duties, does his employer contribute in any way? I would think that, at the very least, a gas allowance would be a reasonable request. Do they have some sort of accommodation clause for disabilities? Not that being 6'7 is a disability, but there is a case for accommodation in order to avoid later health problems (and possible insurance claims, which may hit the employer in the pocket book). I'm in Canada, and they're a little more employee-friendly here (I once worked in a large corp who gave a co-worker paid time off to go swimming so that he could lose weight and get healthy), but if he's in a union, I would start the inquiries there. You might be able to get some financial help or some physio/massage treatments to avoid a future problem. Who knows, maybe both?

As far as the car goes, I don't see any of those choices getting good gas mileage. You might have to sacrifice that to get all the other things.

As I read your post, it seems (correct me if I'm wrong) that one of the things that is rankling you is the image of driving an expensive, luxury car. I find it fascinating how cars are so tied to our self images. I think you might have to get over that, in order to preserve your husband's health and enjoyment of his job. That's really the most important thing here, especially as you have mentioned you *have* the money for the purchase and it wouldn't be a hardship. What about a "green" version of ones of these cars? Here's BMW's hybrid: http://www.hybrid-car.org/bmw-hybrid.html

OK, it's no Prius, and it's not cheap, I'm sure, but at least it has a better image than "gas guzzling, conspicuous consumption yuppie crap luxury car."

[Annie Mac]

Originally Posted by taramoon13

how about subaru? don't know about it fitting his frame, but i'd say it fits all the other criteria. gas mileage is comparable to the suvs you mentioned. it's our "dream" family car!!!

Subaru is my personal favourite, because it fits MY frame. I'm 5 feet. American & German cars are probably your best bet, size wise. However, my husband has a BMW (an old one! a cheap one!) which accommodates both of us quite nicely, mostly because it adjusts every which way to Sunday.

[chely7425]

I would think an older BMW would fit the bill very well. Also, it seems like not getting a car just because you are afraid of what it might look like to someone else is just as silly as getting that same car for the image boost, ya know? I think that the ticket is just to find a vehicle that will work for your DH.

[Catubodua]

let him get the one he wants. he's driving 300 miles a day, he should be comfortable and happy while doing it. the money isn't going to burden your family, although it is hard to think about all the other stuff you can do with it.

imho you need to get over the "he's driving xyz car and it will make us look like abc!" mentality.

[GardenStream]

I would suggest trying a Honda Element. We have pretty similar needs when it comes to vehicles. Dh is 6'4" but he's built really odd and it's all in his trunk. He wears a 32" inseam if that gives you any idea of how much height he really needs when sitting. I'm a normally built 5'5." We absolutely must have all wheel drive at a minimum, but DH prefers 4wd.

We had a 2001 BMW wagon (which we got after getting rid of the 2004 Element) and it was nice, but it didn't have enough ground clearance. On the country roads that weren't plowed it was an issue on numerous occasions.

DH and I are both convinced that we will go back to a manual AWD Element with our next vehicle. We both miss and loved that one. It fit us and our lifestyles better than anything else we have found.

*The lumbar support might be a problem with an Element. It's not an issue for me so I wouldn't have noticed it.*

[heymama1plus1]

We actually used to have a Subaru Forester that he loved, but it was a manual and he does too much with his hands to have a manual (calls, satellite navigation, note taking, etc... makes me nervous!). He said according to his millions of car review magazines that the automatic transmission on the Forester isn't getting good reviews (told you he's over-researching this!).

He's looking into a Subaru Legacy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one!

Like I said, we're trying one more lumbar support back thingie (we have quite the pile he's tried... thank God for craigslist!) and I think we've exhausted our resources. I even think he looked into getting a custom seat made, but for how much it would cost to build and install I'd rather just get a newer car. Plus not sure what the resale would be on that.

We're at the point that the peppy drive is way at the bottom, it's 95% the comfort for his back. And he won't budge on the all wheel drive. I think that's what's tripping us up. He's made his pool so small with that criteria.

And, yes, it is silly of me to be concerned about my image with a fancy car. I have to admit, it's a guilty pleasure sitting in such a nice car after decades of 10 year old junkers (love my '98 Buick Lesabre-- 40,000 miles for $2800!).

Plus we discovered a new free past time-- at these luxury car dealers they feed you and give you great coffee! It's like sample hour at Costco! We can graze our way down car dealer row...

I think I'm just frustrated because every night for the last month or so it's a blow by blow play of every little detail of all these cars and I really couldn't care less-- just pick one!!! He wants my opinion on them and I'm SO not a car person.

And thanks for the tip on the hybrid-- looked at that on KBB-- ouch! A lot of $$$. I'm sure his millions of car review magazines have an opinion on those, too... must be some reason why he's ruled them out.

Not sure why he's not looking at older model BMWs; I'll ask... maybe they weren't AWD? Maybe the lumbar doesn't go up/ down/ in/ out like the newer ones? He can tell a difference between the seat of a 2007 and a 2008... it's like the Princess and the Pea! I don't know how he does it...

And, yes, he gets a hearty milage reimbursement. He actually makes a killing doing all the rural visits no one wants, plus he likes the scenery... pretty county roads.

Thanks everyone!

[phathui5]

If you have your emergency fund fully funded and you can pay for it in cash, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[HappyMommy2]

Considering the amount of time he spends in the car as a requirement for his job, I would let him splurge a little.

[heymama1plus1]

If that's what he needs, I have no problem spending the $$; we're blessed to have it. I just keep hoping that there'll be some suggestion I give him that he'll say, "Didn't think of that! Let's try XYZ car!". But he has a well thought out answer for every suggestion I give him. Can't trip him up! That's why I'm hoping one of you lovely ladies will have a brilliant idea we haven't thought of

I'll give him your list of suggestions so far when he gets back tonight... curious to hear his answers!

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by Catubodua

let him get the one he wants. he's driving 300 miles a day, he should be comfortable and happy while doing it. the money isn't going to burden your family, although it is hard to think about all the other stuff you can do with it.

imho you need to get over the "he's driving xyz car and it will make us look like abc!" mentality.

Yes. Those cars you mention are well made and are good investments.

Originally Posted by heymama1+1

Not sure why he's not looking at older model BMWs; I'll ask... maybe they weren't AWD? Maybe the lumbar doesn't go up/ down/ in/ out like the newer ones? He can tell a difference between the seat of a 2007 and a 2008... it's like the Princess and the Pea! I don't know how he does it...

Well he needs to get what's comfortable. But if you do your research you can save quite a bit of money by buying a low mileage, used luxury car. Let the original owner lose that depreciation the moment it's driven off the dealer lot. In 2006 dh bought a 2003 BMW with low mileage, paying $10,000 less than the dealer price.

[ChristyMarie]

FYI...the fully adjustable lumbar in the BMW is an upgrade to the seat. As is many of the seat adjustment features. I have the super duper seat. My husband has the super seat. Big difference. So in looking for a used one you'll have to look for that feature. Though I think the seat room is much more limited than the full size GMC SUV's. A Tahoe/Yukon should be much more comfortable for a larger person and should have a better used price. Repairs and gas will be cheaper as well. Also, are you aware you have to use premium gas in the BMW? Much more costly because the X5 gets AWFUL gas mileage. Awful. Though it does handle really well in the snow. Still, on an unpaved, unplowed road in the winter I think I'd prefer the GMC.

[heymama1plus1]

Originally Posted by ChristyMarie

FYI...the fully adjustable lumbar in the BMW is an upgrade to the seat. As is many of the seat adjustment features. I have the super duper seat. My husband has the super seat. Big difference. So in looking for a used one you'll have to look for that feature. Though I think the seat room is much more limited than the full size GMC SUV's. A Tahoe/Yukon should be much more comfortable for a larger person and should have a better used price. Repairs and gas will be cheaper as well. Also, are you aware you have to use premium gas in the BMW? Much more costly because the X5 gets AWFUL gas mileage. Awful. Though it does handle really well in the snow. Still, on an unpaved, unplowed road in the winter I think I'd prefer the GMC.

I did know about the premium gas (yuck) but I didn't know the super duper seat is an upgrade; all the ones at the dealership seems to have it. I'll let him know... thanks for the tip!

I know he's planning on buying used, private party (and he's a heck of a haggler!), possibly going cross country if he finds "the one". I'd hate to have him show up there and have the seat not truly be the "super duper" variety.

I'll ask him about Tahoes, Yukons, and GMCs too.

Thanks!

[mtm]

From a DR perspective, you are on bs 6 so you're doing great, you've got an emergency fund and have funded retirement. What's to stop you from saving for the car? Take 6 months or however long it will take you to save up, research which car he wants, and go for it.

[latinmom]

We drive a newer Forester, and the automatic transmission is fine-no problems at all. The 2008 and newer ones are large, and in your range of $20,000! (We got ours for $19,500, new) Just thought that might help.

[BetsyS]

I say splurge. My dh is 6'3", and he worked as an outside salesman for about 3 years, driving a Dodge Charger. It did a number on his back, and it's never been the same. He should hae just gotten a different car. But, it really did affect him.

We drive a Chevy Suburban, and he finds it really, really comfortable to drive. I love it, too. At times, I'm embaressed because of the gas mileagle, but it really is like driving my couch around. He also has an older Volvo (96) that he commutes in, and he likes it pretty well.

[rhiandmoi]

Are you writing off your mileage? That can be a huge tax break for you and make up the difference in price of the car in 1-2 years with how much he drives.