Originally Posted by HikeMama
I live in a pretty good school district. It's not no. 1 for test scores but it's ok. We live in the suburbs and the general population is not what you'd call progressive or really even open-minded. There are rich kids, poor kids, every different color of kid. Most of the kids graduate and it's not violent. It's a big district. I haven't actually decided what to do about school yet. Every time I see these kids whose parents just suck and then I think my daughter is going to have to go to school with them I just get terrified. She will probably have to find friends within this pool of children. If she doesn't, she may be outcast and that may effect her. I can't really afford private school and I don't know if I can even afford homeschooling. I just found out that my school district has full day kindergarten and I was really hoping for half day. I just don't know if I want to put my daughter in that situation, with all those other kids who aren't like the kids she knows... I wonder what she's going to think when the other girls have cinderella shoes. Will they think she's weird because she likes "boy stuff" and has no idea what a disney princess really is? If she's still nursing, will they find out and think she's weird? Will our atheism be a problem? Will she have any food to eat at the cafeteria or will she be thought of as weird because she's a vegetarian? Will she be made fun of if I have to talk withh the teacher about the way things happen if we have a problem or before there is a problem? Will the differences between us and the rest of the kids cause a rift at home? If you have kids in public school, can you tell me what it's like. Tell me something. Or give me advice or alternatives. I am considering cyber charter, but I really am totally up in the air.
this was me and my family and my non-school friends growing up. i lived in a school distrcit exactly like you are describing. i was the weird one. my whole famliy was cause i thought all moms were LLL leaders, and of course i saw mybrothers born at home, doesn't everyone? sure i like to play with boys stuff, who says it isn't girl stuff? no i didn't like barbie, oh, that's a problem too? some of these issues have lasted till even now. what helped the most was that i was close to people at my summer camp, so at least in the summer i had a place where i wasn't the only kid crushing poke berries to paint my face. i had some great friends, though they were few and didn't necessarily offset the crummy kids who made me feel wierd cause i didn't listen to their music or wear their clothes. i never talked about it to my parents cause it wasn't bullying, and i liked the academic part of school, and honestly, i didn't think there was anything anyone could do about not fitting in. that was all it was- i didn't fit in and didn't like the social part of school at all.
the funny thing is, i have known lots of kids like me as adults, they had often been ap'd as kids and i think that made them interact differently and have trouble fitting in with the norm. i think they also ( a function of an ap family)were encouraged to be themselves and to try different things, not jsut go along with the crowd. and so i think it is hard to have that at home and then the strong push to conform that is at school.
i don't think that it affected me as an adult in terms of relationship and such, i have had and do have some great friends, but it wasn't pleasant at all and really made me dislike school.
but i still feel like an automatic outsider wheneve i am in a new group of people and i unconcioiusly assume i won't fit in. i have to conciously remind myself that we are all new to each other, etc.
i know that my brothers also had this issue, and other family friends cause we all talked about how much we hated school and how we hated the kids. i will say though, that the early elementary school years we easier, it didn't get hard till 3rd grade and up. but i didn't really notice anything till then.
i'm sorry if this worries you. it was, though, my experience.