Babies,pets and co-sleeping!

[MamitaM]

We had our first doctor visit today! It went super! I mentioned that I co-sleep with my son (just he and I) and that my cat sleeps with us. She sleeps at my feet or cuddled up against my back. She never,ever goes to his side of the bed unless she's going to her spot in the window,but never to sleep on that side of the bed. She also never ever gets into his crib either.

It was her side of the bed before and she was also used to sleeping on top of me,but couldn't while I was pregnant. She seems fine with my baby,no jealousy or anything.

My doctor thinks the baby should sleep in his own bed or the cat should go. She said " well she is an animal and is unpredictable". I don't want her to go. Besides I live in nice studio apartment and to keep her away from us when we sleep (co -sleeping or not) I'd have to lock her in the bathroom.

Do you co-sleep with your pets? Do you take safety precautions?

[ShadowMoon]

I co-slept with DS from birth to age 2 and our dog joined us every night. It was no problem at all.

[SeattleRain]

I also have a cat and my bedroom is a loft, so I also have no door to keep my cat out and this was a prime reason why we did NOT cosleep. I actually know someone whose baby was killed in a smothering accident with a very gentle family dog, so it does happen. Cosleeping is a really beautiful thing to do, if you can do it safely and while I know there are plenty of people who will say "well I did XYZ and I was just fine" the facts are that stuff really does happen.

Sorry, I'm siding with the pediatrician. Perhaps you could do an array of baby gates to quarantene off the bed area?? Or some screens?

[sunnygir1]

I don't see how having the babe in a separate bed would reduce the risk of smothering-by-cat. You wouldn't be right there to respond (consciously or unconsciously) to your baby's distress, so your baby would be in more peril...unless you remove the cat from the picture, in which case bed sharing is a go, right?

I don't know what I'd do. I kicked my dogs out of the bed years before I had children.

[Adaline'sMama]

I have a friend who put her baby in a crib because she had a cat. I thought it was ridiculous. Apparently, people believe that your cat will smother by getting on top of him because the cat smells that the baby smells like milk.
http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/catsuck.asp

[MamitaM]

Originally Posted by SeattleRain

I also have a cat and my bedroom is a loft, so I also have no door to keep my cat out and this was a prime reason why we did NOT cosleep. I actually know someone whose baby was killed in a smothering accident with a very gentle family dog, so it does happen. Cosleeping is a really beautiful thing to do, if you can do it safely and while I know there are plenty of people who will say "well I did XYZ and I was just fine" the facts are that stuff really does happen.

Sorry, I'm siding with the pediatrician. Perhaps you could do an array of baby gates to quarantene off the bed area?? Or some screens?

What type of screens are you talking about? The Japanese paper screens that fold? They wouldn't work. They'd be knocked over by the cat or me at some time in the night. Also she can walk under them. I'd also need about 5 to go all the way around my bed. It would be expensive and take up a lot of much needed space and make me sick... I can't stand that much "clutter". Baby gates would not work,cats jump,they can jump high. They'd also not have a place to attach to,since you normally put them between a door way or something.

If I have the baby in his little bed,it's at the end of my bed I won't be able to see,hear or feel my cat if she goes into it and sits on top of him or anything. At least in my bed I can usually feel if kitty or baby moves.

[Llyra]

I'm with you, OP. I coslept with all three of my kids. During that time we had at any given time between 2 and 4 cats, and they mostly slept with us, or near us, at least part of the night. My point of view has always been that if I'm right there, the baby is safer than the baby would be in a crib-- who's to say the cat won't jump in the crib? My cats mostly didn't go near my babies, anyway-- they seem to avoid the kids until they get to an age where they're more predictable. My DD1 is 6 now, and my cats are only just starting to stop avoiding her.

[SeattleRain]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama

I have a friend who put her baby in a crib because she had a cat. I thought it was ridiculous. Apparently, people believe that your cat will smother by getting on top of him because the cat smells that the baby smells like milk.
http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/catsuck.asp

I don't actually think my cat will smell the milk and smother him (he's well fed, he has a trough of food downstairs he can raid if he's hungry) but I think my cat likes to snuggle next to warm bodies and he miht not be so selective. He often sleeps next to my face, near the warm breath.

I know its not so AP, but you can put a baby in a crib with a crib tent on top of it. I wonder if you could use a crib tent with an Arms Reach cosleeper. I'm not sure.

Listen, cosleeping is great but it has to be safe. There are people who have told me that they cosleep with their baby when they've had alot to drink which I think is unsafe as well even though clearly the babies didn't die. There are people who cosleep with babies with lots of blankets and pillows, I don't think that's safe either. It's a really slippery slow when you start getting into "I did it and it worked out okay for me so that means it's okay." Just remember, there are people who say the same thing about things like carseats...

[larzanna]

I would say you know your cat. If your cat never goes near the baby, or only likes one side of the bed, and you know how little it takes to wake you up then i would use that information to make my decision.

I have 6 cats, i know where they sleep, i wake up when they jump on the bed or move around me. I kept them out of the immediate area (ex: left side of the bed) where the baby was when he was very little but that was it.

[marinak1977]

Originally Posted by larzanna

I would say you know your cat. If your cat never goes near the baby, or only likes one side of the bed, and you know how little it takes to wake you up then i would use that information to make my decision.

I have 6 cats, i know where they sleep, i wake up when they jump on the bed or move around me. I kept them out of the immediate area (ex: left side of the bed) where the baby was when he was very little but that was it.

We cosleep with our dogs joining us on the bed periodically. The dogs are at the foot of the bed and the baby is near my breast. Sometimes the dogs also get to be on the other side of me if DS is between me and DH, but they never are near the baby - they are aware of him, I am aware of them, and they never get on the bed without asking first. I never felt at risk with them.

[SilverFish]

i think it might potentially be a very very small risk. yeah, maybe there have been babies smothered by family pets, but i doubt it is of any statistical signifgance. you can't protect against every single possible risk out there, and the benefits of cosleeping far outweigh the potential risks of smothering (especially because you couldn't really protect the baby from the cat 100% of the time except by putting a mesh tent over top of him anytime you leave him unattended, which is impratical to the extreme, IMO). if you had a large, heavy and clueless dog, you could easily train the dog to stay off the bed, and that might be a worthwhile precaution. a cat? not really the same kind of risk.

if you like, you can start dissuading the cat from sleeping on the bed, either by spraying him with water or some other signal. i tend to remove our cat from our bed, but that is mostly because he is really annoying at night. he got the message pretty quick and now only occasionally sleeps at the very foot of the bed, and comes for snuggles in the morning.

if you are right there in the bed with them, i don't see how the cat could lay on him without you being aware. that's the whole point of cosleeping, that you are able to respond immediately to any threat. i know i've always been more concerned about my husband's unpredictable behavior while sleeping than our cat's.

[baglady]

One of my cats is always trying to get close to DS while he sleeps. We cosleep at night and DS naps in his crib. I've caught the cat in the crib with DS during naps (the cat can open doors). I find it easier to keep the cat away from DS in our bed. Every night he tries to cuddle next to DS and I move him several times until he gives up and curls at my feet. He also goes out for the night every so often. We also have a small dog in the bed who avoids DS like the plauge.

For the record, the cat isn't trying to smother him. He just wants to curl up next to the baby. I have a vet as a family member and she has 5 cats and kids and says that cats smothering babies is an old wives tale. That doesn't mean that an animal can't accidentally smother a child, just that most animals won't intentionally do it. You just have to be super aware of where the animals are and attempt to set limits if you can (hard with a cat I know.)

[mbhf]

I wouldn't do it. Put the cat in the bathroom at night.

[aidenn]

Originally Posted by larzanna

I would say you know your cat. If your cat never goes near the baby, or only likes one side of the bed, and you know how little it takes to wake you up then i would use that information to make my decision.

I have 6 cats, i know where they sleep, i wake up when they jump on the bed or move around me. I kept them out of the immediate area (ex: left side of the bed) where the baby was when he was very little but that was it.

This is our family. We have 5 cats, two of whom cannot be deterred from sleeping in our bed, albeit at the foot. To me it boils down to the idea that YOU know YOUR own family. If you know your cat doesn't go near the baby and you're aware of where your baby is, then I wouldn't change anything you are doing.

I appreciate the pediatrician saying your cat is an "unpredictable animal", but it's not like you're sleeping with a wild raccoon kit. It's a domesticated animal and my cats are just as predictable as my toddler as far as routines go, but I'm still happy to sleep with my toddler and my upcoming baby.

[rhiOrion]

Our cat sleeps at the foot of the bed. Occasionally over by Dh's head. The baby sleeps halfway on me. I can't even imagine how the cat would smother the baby. Hell, the cat doesn't want to be NEAR the baby most of the time!

You know your pets. I'd be more worried about my dog, who has no sense of personal space, than I would be about my cat. And my dog doesn't get on the bed since we got a new, taller bed, and we haven't encouraged her to do so.

If you have a cat who likes to sleep on faces, then I'd be more wary and try to keep cat out of the room. If you have a cat who sleeps at the foot of your bed, then I wouldn't worry at ALL.

Seriously, my cat smothering my baby is not on my radar in the least. My cat keeping us up ALL.NIGHT.LONG because we kicked him out of the room is a MUCH greater threat!

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by SeattleRain

I don't actually think my cat will smell the milk and smother him (he's well fed, he has a trough of food downstairs he can raid if he's hungry) but I think my cat likes to snuggle next to warm bodies and he miht not be so selective. He often sleeps next to my face, near the warm breath.

I know its not so AP, but you can put a baby in a crib with a crib tent on top of it. I wonder if you could use a crib tent with an Arms Reach cosleeper. I'm not sure.

Listen, cosleeping is great but it has to be safe. There are people who have told me that they cosleep with their baby when they've had alot to drink which I think is unsafe as well even though clearly the babies didn't die. There are people who cosleep with babies with lots of blankets and pillows, I don't think that's safe either. It's a really slippery slow when you start getting into "I did it and it worked out okay for me so that means it's okay." Just remember, there are people who say the same thing about things like carseats...

There are also people who say cosleeping is completely inherently unsafe.

If your cat likes to sleep on faces, kick him out. But a cat at the foot of the bed? Well, a car could also come careening down our driveway and smush us all. Or a meteor could hit. Or a tornado. Or aliens. King kong. Godzilla.

Living carries a certain amount of risk. The only way you're risk free is if you're dead.

You have to gauge that risk every day. To me, *my* cat sleeping on the end of my bed is not dangerous. Another cat may be.

So, again, I reiterate to the OP that you know your cat best.

[MamitaM]

Originally Posted by mbhf

I wouldn't do it. Put the cat in the bathroom at night.

This isn't easy for me to do though. I'd have to move her litter box in there and her food and water as well. I'd either have to keep it in there full time rather then move it out the next morning. The bathroom is small and I'd have no room for me an my son to be in there. I did have her litter box in there when first moved in and it was in my way and I ended up tracking litter all over the place.

[nicky85]

Since this is one of those big no-no's from the AAP, I'll just say that we haven't had any problems. But pets have never slept by my side and always at my feet.

[poorlittlefish]

I personally wouldn't have the heart to lock my cat in the bathroom all night, he would be miserable. BUT, I also don't cosleep with my cat. Of course cats don't intentionally smother babies but they love to snuggle. When I have the baby on the bed while I am doing things, my cats always come up and try to "spoon" her. It is a personal decision but I would do a pack n play or something next to the bed with a crib tent or figure out some humane way to keep the cat off the bed.

[Kuba'sMama]

Hmm, dogs were not mentioned as often as cats, are they considered more of a "smothering" hazard? We have a little Maltese-Shitzu mix (smaller than most cats actually) which sleeps with us ever since the baby was born. She usually starts off at the foot of the bed, and then ends up closer to warm bodies, lol. I spent some time analyzing her movements (back when I wasn't getting a lot of sleep anyway, with the newborn constant feedings and changings in the middle of the night) and noticed that she steered way clear of the baby, preferring dh or myself. Now that the baby is much bigger and sturdier she will sometimes "reverse-spoon" with her back next to baby's back, it's very cute and I don't feel the baby is in any danger. The dog is at this point probably about half the baby's weight though.