When people bring there sick kids around yours... - Page 2

[carmel23]

Yeah, that's gross. I know sometimes it is hard to tell if kids are sick, and they can go from being fine (running, jumping, yelling) to barfing really fast...

But it doesn't sound like this was one of those situations. I think if a kid is barfing they sound not be allowed to stay in the class.

Symptom free for 24 hours, people. A runny nose, cough I can tolerate, but not barf. <*shiver*>

[DaughterOfKali]

I would say something to the teacher. I think a reminder should go out.

[DBZ]

I would have said something to the mom right after she sat back down. She might not have realized her son was that sick when she came to the class, but she certainly should have left after he vomitted. Poor kid!

[ChetMC]

Originally Posted by DBZ

I would have said something to the mom right after she sat back down. She might not have realized her son was that sick when she came to the class, but she certainly should have left after he vomitted. Poor kid!

I think you need to be careful flat our telling somebody that they are not welcome without knowing their entire situation.

If somebody asked me to leave after my child threw up and I had to wait an hour for our bus to come, or I had to wait for my DH to pick us up, or we couldn't go home yet because their was somebody at our house spraying insulation in the walls or sanding the floors I would likely have started to cry.

It might be nice to start out asking if the mom needed any help. Suggesting another room where she and her LO might be more comfortable maybe where the child could lay down. Offering to watch her other kids and come to get her in the other space if they needed her.

Maybe the mom just sucks and she took her kid to the class not caring about anybody else. Maybe she's having one of those massively awful days where everything goes wrong, and all of your options are various flavours of bad.

I know some people are just rotten, but you should confirm that they're rotten before you treat them that way.

[Holiztic]

I'm the only mom I know that keeps DS home and cancels company for even a runny nose with no other symptom.

We're far from germophobes, we believe in the terrain theory not the germ theory--which is why we live Ayurvedically and rarely catch others' illnesses, but we believe in resting physically, mentally, emotionally and treating with tea/herbs, etc. when fighting even the beginning of an illness--if you do that you'll likely ONLY have the beginning of the illness and can get out totally well in 2 days instead of trucking a coughing kid around for 2 months.

Seriously, every kid I see around here from October to April has a chesty cough--like all the time! But the parents say "he's not sick, just a little cough that won't go away". Maybe it's no longer contagious--but he's certainly not "well" with a 2 month cough (or a 6 month one!)

I used to get really miffed when obviously sick kids (even 'just' a cold) but now I let it go. Vomitting on the other hand--that's a big deal--I'd be very upset both for us and for her poor child!

[leighi123]

UPDATE:
Today when I went to pay for ds's class I asked the lady who seems to be in charge at the rec-center if they have a 'sick policy' for kids classes. They dont, other than what the teacher wants to arrange, and said 'usually parents use their common sense'

I explained what had happened and she agreed that it was no fair to the kid to drag him to the class feeling that way, and that he should have gone home after puking. She is going to talk with the class instructor, just to ask if he has his own policy and to remind parents that its not a big deal to make up a class if a child is sick and needs to miss one. I also found out that his class is one of the few that they allow pro-rating (they dont do this with ds's gymnastics class at the same place), so if a class is missed you can also get pro-rated for the following month, and not have to pay for what you missed. Which would be good considering this mom has 3 kids in the class.

It sounds like they arent going to make a big deal over it (which is good), but will still send out a reminder so it wont happen again.

This week all of the triplets seemed happy and healthy again!

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by eclipse

When I first started reading, I thought maybe the mom thought he was just under the weather, but he started getting worse on the ride there and as he sat in class and she decided to try to ride it out so the other kdis wouldn't miss their class. The fact that she just sat back down with him after he threw up, though - that's a little baffling. At the very least, I can't believe she didn't just take him outside until the class was over.

My thoughts exactly.

My kids have gone from fine to puking in a matter of minutes. I also wouldn't mind if a mother (especially a mother with several children) brought a sick kid to class and had him sit on her lap. I mean it would suck if the other two had to sit around at home because one kid was feeling iffy. You would never get out of the house. But once the puke flies it is time to go home!

[stellamia]

Wow... That's crazy. Vomit is definitely a sign that a child is ILL! Poor little guy!

I wish you could just trust people to use their "common sense" in these situations but it's not that easy. Many people lack common sense and courtesy and will take a sick child out. I've many times seen sick children brought to church, family events and even had people bring their sick baby with them when coming to visit my newborn! It's absurd...

I think you did the right thing by talking to the faculty and honestly, if it happened again I think I would take my child and leave. I would make sure the person in charge knew that I was going to take my business elsewhere if such a simple thing as keeping sick kids at home couldn't be part of the policy.

[gbailey]

Originally Posted by Holiztic

I'm the only mom I know that keeps DS home and cancels company for even a runny nose with no other symptom.

We're far from germophobes, we believe in the terrain theory not the germ theory--which is why we live Ayurvedically and rarely catch others' illnesses, but we believe in resting physically, mentally, emotionally and treating with tea/herbs, etc. when fighting even the beginning of an illness--if you do that you'll likely ONLY have the beginning of the illness and can get out totally well in 2 days instead of trucking a coughing kid around for 2 months.

Seriously, every kid I see around here from October to April has a chesty cough--like all the time! But the parents say "he's not sick, just a little cough that won't go away". Maybe it's no longer contagious--but he's certainly not "well" with a 2 month cough (or a 6 month one!)

I used to get really miffed when obviously sick kids (even 'just' a cold) but now I let it go. Vomitting on the other hand--that's a big deal--I'd be very upset both for us and for her poor child!

Join me to that list of moms.

OP, it seems like things ended up working out okay since they're going to send a reminder out to parents. Saying something was the best thing to do.

I find it annoying when parents take kids who are obviously not feeling well out. It's no fun to the child and I think it's inconsiderate of the children/parents who are feeling well.

[mattemma04]

I know in my kids school when a kid pukes the parents need to come get him immediately.I have 2 kids,and yes one has missed stuff when the other is sick. A responsible parent knows they need to keep ill children at home for the safely of their child and others.And it is just the polite thing to do.

Shoot I feel bad sending the well child to school thinking they might be spreading what the sick sibling is at home ill with!

Our school sent a *when to keep a child home* paper listing illnesses/symptoms. I still have it up on the fridge.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by grumpybear

I would be ticked off too.
I would probably talk to the teacher and ask to be clarified on what the policies are regarding sick children.

And while I agree that you can catch germs anywhere, there's no denying the fact that the mother was highly inconsiderate to both her children and the general public by taking out an obviously sick and contagious child.

If my child seemed well and then deteriorated through the course of the day, I would be promptly taking him home after the puking (if not earlier).

It's one thing being caught off guard by a sudden illness or even "seeing how it goes" but when the situation starts to go downhill, it's time to go.

[CalaRei]

My brother and I both had migraines starting from a very young age. Like 5 or 6. We puked a lot. If I stayed home for 24 hours after every time I threw up, I'd have missed 2 days a week of school and failed early on. I can EASILY see myself in what you're describing that boy. I'd insist on going with the group, not realizing that uneasy feeling meant I'd take a downward spiral *hard*. Heck, I did that all the way through high school. Once our family went on a cave tour on vacation... halfway through my brother started getting sick, and ended up throwing up in every garbage can we passed on the trail.

It is entirely possible it wasn't something contagious, and you know... you feel better after throwing up with a migraine? I dunno.

I agree it sucks that people come out when they're sick, but I try to assume that I just don't know all of a person's situation.

[Arduinna]

My mom shows up from out of town almost every holiday season totally sick with some horrible thing she got from work. My dh has a heart condition and it pisses me off to no end that she shows up sick usually ends up getting him sick in the process. Completely inconsiderate. And yes I stay home and keep my kids home when they are sick.

[Youngfrankenstein]

I am back to amend my answer!

My ds1, especially before he got his glasses, was incredibly prone to car-sickness just like his mother. Even though the problem is a ton better, we still always have a "receptical" in case he needs it in the car.

So it's possible he was car sick and WAS better after the puking.

BUT

If he is prone to that, they could have been prepared. And because he got puke all over, I would still take him home to get cleaned up.

[Attached2Elijah]

Originally Posted by ChetMC

I think you need to be careful flat our telling somebody that they are not welcome without knowing their entire situation.

If somebody asked me to leave after my child threw up and I had to wait an hour for our bus to come, or I had to wait for my DH to pick us up, or we couldn't go home yet because their was somebody at our house spraying insulation in the walls or sanding the floors I would likely have started to cry.

It might be nice to start out asking if the mom needed any help. Suggesting another room where she and her LO might be more comfortable maybe where the child could lay down. Offering to watch her other kids and come to get her in the other space if they needed her.

Maybe the mom just sucks and she took her kid to the class not caring about anybody else. Maybe she's having one of those massively awful days where everything goes wrong, and all of your options are various flavours of bad.

I know some people are just rotten, but you should confirm that they're rotten before you treat them that way.

I agree... maybe, just maybe, they are a one car family and DH dropped them off.... maybe when she left the house, it wasn't that bad and she thought he would be okay and then it went downhill once they got there and then she was stuck until DH (or whoever) could come get them... There are so many what-ifs that could have happened. I don't make it my place to judge another Mother. I have been in almost that situation before (since we are a one car family)... I definitely would have offered help or something before judging. Sure, it would have annoyed me to have my kids exposed to whatever germies might be hovering around but it's not always a clear and cut case of negligence.

[camracrazy]

I've been on both ends of this....

I used to volunteer at dd1's preschool. Parents would bring kids in that seemed a little tired, but they would just say, "Oh, he/she stayed up late" or something like that. Twenty minutes later the "tired" kid would be vomiting and running a fever. When you asked them if they had been sick earlier they would say, "Yeah, I was sick all night. Mommy/Daddy gave me some medicine and said I would be okay." Now THAT is super annoying... I can't even imagine making a kid who felt like that go out!

OTOH, once when my dd2 was in the hospital her Dr let us have a pass to go out (she wasn't contagious). We were 3 hours from home with no family or car, so we decided to walk 3-4 blocks to the mall. Dd2 wanted to go into the Crayola store to look around, and all of the sudden she barfed 4-5 times all over the floor. It was horrible!! We couldn't leave right away because I had to find a salesperson to notify about the mess on the floor, and then dd2 decided she needed a stuffed crayon, which I bought mainly because I was so mortified! I took her to the bathroom and cleaned her up for the walk back to the hospital. *sigh* She honestly didn't have anything anyone else could catch (and I had NO idea she would vomit), but of course a person just watching the episode wouldn't have known that. Luckily the saleslady was very kind and acted like it was no big deal. I have to agree with others here though about leaving. No way would I have just continued to browse around the store or mall while there was the possibility of getting sick again!

[peaceful_mama]

I kept mine home from playgroup last week because DD (3 1/2) woke up with a horrible-sounding cough. Nothing coming up, and just the cough...but if she'd started that at the playgroup, it would've gotten me *that look* I'm sure.

Yes, that means her brother, who is almost 2 and had no symptoms, missed out on a chance to run around and play with different toys. (It's in a big gym)

And yes, it could have been that she is like me, it is allergies, and this is her symptom.

And she had whooping cough at the age of 6 weeks, and she seems to *always* sound bad when she gets a cough.

But I still kept her home, because *I* wouldn't have wanted a kid that sounded like her around mine.

Now if it had been *school* like my older DS...school has mandatory attendance policies and make-up work and all that kind of crud.
SCHOOL would have gotten an explanation that DD sounds horrible when she gets a "little cough", that it's probably allergies since it happens the same time as mine, and that she typically stops after she's been awake a couple hours.

The difference between her and that kid though is she'll get a cough, it sounds bad, but she stops after she's been awake awhile, she has no other symptoms, and she acts normal.

She does *very occasionally* cough enough to throw up--she's also my kid with the easiest gag reflex. since it doesn't happen very often, I'd expect to take her HOME, even if I was 99% sure that's what it was from. And since it's rare, it *could* take me by surprise...though it is part of the reason I keep her home when she sounds bad. I don't want to be in that situation in public.