Originally Posted by mbhf
I agree, 100%. I have read a lot of the OPs posts and this is an ongoing theme, she's an amazing parent/person and everyone around her is just awful and she wants everyone to tell her so.
OP, I think it would be best for you to concentrate on your own children and maybe try to find a hobby. Do not buy your DN a new carseat, do not buy him clothes or shoes, put that money towards getting a place of your own for your family. If things are really as tight financially as you say and if your living situation is half as toxic/ridiculous as you say, you are doing your own children a disservice by spending money on your DN and spending time with your ILs to be around your DN more.
She's not going to post here about how much she loves another person's parenting because she's probably telling them to their face.
This is her CLOSE RELATIVE. Of course she cares. Jeez.
I dunno, maybe it's because improperly-fitted shoes kill me? Or because I also think that hours in a carseat in front of the TV is really borderline neglect? Or because I know what it's like to only post about the drama, without posting about the good times and good people?
I just don't see how it's supportive to say, "Either back off or call CPS, there's no in-between."
IMO there is a LOT of in-between, where you provide support and help and negotiate delicate social networks and balance your own needs and the needs of other very needy people and still care for your kids. IMO there's a lot of gray area between special needs resulting from neglect and those that could not have been avoided. It's hard to tell and she is not judging them. The age she's talking about is a HARD age because kids are all over the map in terms of development. Some are talking in full sentences, others seem more like babies, *even with great parents and even with normal or above-average intelligence*.
So it might seem like drama to you, and maybe it is a small family drama.
So what? Sometimes we really can't escape drama. Sometimes we need outside perspective. Speaking of judgmental!