Worried about UC...

[dayiscoming2006]

Right now, I live around 20-30 minutes from the nearest hospital.

I'm concerned about UC because of this. Last time I planned a UC I lived 2 mins from a hospital. I'm not like totally freaked out or anything, just slightly concerned.

I also am concerned with a UP/UC that I've been doing that I could possibly get into trouble if something goes wrong.

I have 2 little boys and would never want to risk CPS taking them for any amount of time.

I don't vax, I don't do well child checkups cuz I don't see the point, I don't want to risk getting called out on something else and then having them make some excuse to take my kids away.

Are my concerns warranted and do you think I should consider seeking outside care, maybe the homebirth midwife in my area or a birthing center with a midwife? There's only one homebirth midwife here. They supposedly have knowledge of herbs but seems to mix them with mainstream medicine as well? She has a support staff with an herbalist I think. I noticed she was somewhat ignorant on the treatment of my yeast issues though. I don't know what I should do really. She was the one that thought probiotics would be BAD for yeast infection.

My last concern is if I get no prenatal care that I might have to transfer the hospital and I'll get treated really bad. Maybe they wouldn't listen to anything I had to say with not giving vaccines or not doing whatever else I don't want usually. I've already had some really bad hospital experiences and that would REALLY suck.

[mitintraining]

I am in the exact same boat as you except we just moved back to our home town and I did go in and see my CNM at her office for one visit. I am really gun shy on CPS as i have had friends reported for home schooling and birth choices. I agree that I would do anything to keep my kids out of the system and I do not want to make myself stand out with no prenatal care. We are planning on doing all the requirements, except glucose, which I haven't done for three pregnancies, then just not making it to the hospital. I have had one accidental unassisted homebirth due to lack of time to get to the hospital, I was just trying to wait to get my hubby home from his job, four blocks away, before I pushed out our son in the bathroom. I have gone on to have a planned homebirth with a CPM in the area we moved to, I had no medical back-up or 'prenatal care', only according to them, I saw my midwife but she didn't count in the system and there wasn't a problem at all. I am being more careful this time around though as I did UP for the first 30 weeks, then went in. Good luck on making your decision, it really sucks that we have to be worried about CPS coming in and taking our kids because we make educated, researched choices for them, instead of blindly following the 'latest' medical advice.

[dayiscoming2006]

What happened when CPS was called on your friends/acquaintances?
I'm just curious cuz I don't know for sure all they can do but I think I remember reading things. And my sister was taken away from my parents for a short time while she was a teen because one of her friends made false claims.

[mitintraining]

In one case the mother had to have letters written from all the people she knew, her pediatrician, her pastor, lots of people in high up places. The other after investigating the claim CPS backed off. My one friend was homeschooling her special needs child and called HSLDA on CPS and they backed off. I do remember though the threats that were made by the CPS agents in charge, the power play, and the aftermath for those families. Even though 'nothing' happened there was a lot of work and worry on the behalves the families involved. Also they lived with the threat of continued action every day. Some of the expectations of the CPS workers was crazy. One mom was asked if her kids had access to video games, if they didn't that could be neglect! Another was told that dirty dishes in the sink, or a carpet under a table with food on it was not okay. Obviously these people have never been home all day with kids, or homeschooled or had toddlers who throw things off their plates. One CPS agent made allegations about a 14 yr old boy having greasy hair, the worker showed up at 8:00 a.m. and the kid hadn't showered yet. It is interesting to think that anything you do, or don't do could be considered neglect. Goodness if you don't have a TV watch out!

[dayiscoming2006]

Wow! That's nuts. Video games??? Seriously???

Freaks me out more honestly. I really think I want to seek out prenatal care at least for this reason. I don't want an OB though. I hate them or have never found one I liked anyway.

Are birthing center midwives any better than OBs? I was also looking to a homebirth midwife but just was curious. There is a birthing center near where I live. I hate the hospital. At least at a birthing center I'm assuming there would be less diseases lurking? I don't know.

I think I still will maybe UC and have hubby call the homebirth midwife when I feel like I'm in transition so by the time she gets here it'd be too late for her to mess with me if she were going to.

[dayiscoming2006]

Nevermind. I'm still not sure what to do. It sucks when we have to stay and worry about stupid things like CPS.

Still open to other's thoughts.

[SilverSage]

I'm in the same boat in the same area. I used to do foster care in another state, and honestly, it totally depends on the social worker. Some are laid back and it will be ok, and some are not. We actually ended up leaving that state to get away from that sort of persecution. And it wasn't actually anything to do with our lifestyle, she just had a personal grudge against us for other reasons I won't go into.

I'm seriously looking at UP/UC because of financial issues. I can almost afford the midwife, or I can eat. If I go with UP, I will give myself 'prenatals' and document it. I don't know if it will help or not, though. Otherwise I'll just research like mad, take as good care of myself as possible and pray that all goes well.

Not very helpful, is it?

[dayiscoming2006]

Good for you silversage.

I finally came to terms with it and I want to continue with my UP/UC. We don't have a ton of money and I really don't like doctors. And there's not much a midwife can do for me that I can't do for myself. I like the idea of documenting your own prenatals. I've read that can be potentially useful. Also, I think I'll get together a bunch of information on why I made each of my decisions or whatever. And I'll make up a backup birth plan in case I must be transfered to the hospital.

I just got a little panicky but really if somebody wants to mess with you they will no matter what. And I have plenty of other alternative things that might lead CPS to investigate me (like not doing well-child checkups) so what's the point in doing something I don't want to.

So here's me continuing with my plans as before. Just had a moment of waivering. Sadly, I discovered that my husband isn't as trusting in me this time as he was last time I planned my UC. Hope he gets over that. He did tell me I can do whatever I want though. So, I will.

[kittywitty]

We were investigated by CPS about 2 years ago. Vax was not an issue, but the fact that we had established care with a doctor and they had seen my kids helped us greatly-basically the doc could just say that no, my kids were neither abused or neglected from what he had seen. The birth thing did not come up, though, as my youngest (who was UC'd and partially UP'd) was a year old then. I am a bit worried about the whole subject this time, honestly because though I have a mw, she is far away and likely will not make it in time and with the legal situation I will have to say I did UP and UC and that sets me up for legal trouble.

[dayiscoming2006]

That's terrible kittwitty. I wish the government couldn't just mess with us so easily. I hate how BIG the government has become.

[zoebird]

i think it's important to have a relationship with a care provider so that they can back you up, even if you don't do "well baby" visits. i don't do them either, but we do get annual check ups. this helps.

[AllieFaye]

If you are worried, then don't UC. UC shouldn't be an uncomfortable choice. It would be better to spend the time before the baby searching for a positive provider who would meet your family's needs. I have had horrible, unprofessional and even malpractice experiences with providers. I have also had amazing experiences with kind, devoted caring professionals. They are worth seeking out, and some of them even understand the motivation to UC. Whatever decision you make should be one with which you can be confident and not worry about the consequences.

[dayiscoming2006]

Thanks for your input but I am actually feeling confident now. I just had a moment of wavering. I'll always be concerned somewhat about CPS just because we live an alternative/non-mainstream lifestyle. But, I'm leaning on God and praying for the best.

I can't imagine finding a provider who would be comfortable with no vaginal exams or ultrasounds or pap smears or anything else I don't like. And I find prenatal appointments to be very stressful typically. I'm not a fan. According to what I researched. Most OB's are super mainstream here as they typically are anywhere now. And delivery would have to take place in the hospital. The idea of delivering in the hospital makes me REALLY uncomfortable with my past experiences and I don't like doctors or hospitals too much.

I'm leaning against the homebirth midwife too just cuz it's really expensive and they can't really do much more than I'd be able to do myself. Just my opinion.

[MittensKittens]

I just wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy! I remember you from the UC boards and we shared a DDC for December 2008!

In my personal experience, having records of prenatal care is the most important, if you'll have any involvement with the authorities. Most UCs go just fine, CPS-wise, though. I hope you have a great pregnancy!

[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

I just wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy! I remember you from the UC boards and we shared a DDC for December 2008!

In my personal experience, having records of prenatal care is the most important, if you'll have any involvement with the authorities. Most UCs go just fine, CPS-wise, though. I hope you have a great pregnancy!

Thanks so much! I remember you too.

I'll keep my own records of my prenatal care for myself but I won't go to an OB.

[amyjeans]

I guess I am an old bird here. I am preggy with my 5th baby, and this will be my 4th UC, my 3rd full pregnancy UP. I see a DO for my thyroid issues and she knows I am pregnant. That's about it.

Now my experience is only unique to me. I am a pretty good judge of myself only.

I worry, too. But not so much about what others think- frankly, no one in my family says a word about the "risks" or implications of UC. I am the baby in my family, and everyone else has an opinion on how I shoud travel through life. After #1 UC, everyone said I was lucky nothing went wrong. After #3...they shut up...because luck has nothing to do with it.
It still takes faith in yourself to have the guts to accept how your birth should be for you. I think the only time you are truly convinced that it is the way it should be is when you are looking back on it, after it is over. Then you'll proabably say...that was easy!
Aside from the pressures of society convincing us that if we don't follow the pack, we are doomed to failure- the only thing that keeps us from going against the grain is ourselves. We are our own worst enemies, right?
So, the whole CPS thing. I only tell people about what we "did" (not what we will do) if they ask, and then talk about something else.
I was very careful to whom I spoke about anything and if I had to go to the hospital during labor, I would now not back down, but I know my rights. That is important. It is not illegal to UC( at least not where I am) and I have no intention of taking anyone's crap of convincing me otherwise. Perhaps if you research about homebirths in your state, you might be able to set your mind at ease.
The odds of anyone giving you a hard time only increase if you allow it...meaning if yo uare worried that someone might not understand your perspective of birth, don't tell them. If you go to the hospital...play dumb.
With regard to UP, you'll probably do better by your body by managing it yourself, than having an OB who only sees you on occasion. I agree that becoming a number in a doctor's office truly medicalizes a non-medical event.

My first UC, I was terrified. Worried about everything, too. I don't have a magic solution to set your mind at ease. Only you do.
Like I said, I still worry. I have not approached any of my births with 100% acceptance and confidence because even though my "unknown" is a bit more known than those who have not experienced homebirth, there are aspects of the birth that I can only imagine, and hope not to experience. I think everyone worries in some form, whether its internal or external forces driving you to second guess yourself.
What got me through it was convincing myself that my body was made in such a way as to do this. Any interference to the physiological process can only hinder it. That includes an audience or a director.
I also know that if my gut says something is wrong, I will be strong, confident and do what I must for the sake of my child and body, and if that means calling 911, and facing the painful scrutiny of holier than thou doctors, then so be it.
Fear is powerful. It is not a weakness, but allows us to think with utmost clarity and thoroughness. Face your fear with courage. Even if you feel the need to find assistance, it is still your body, your birth. There is absolutely no failure in this.

sorry so long. I do wish you a most peaceful pregnancy and birth. (stepping down from my soapbox now )

[dayiscoming2006]

Thanks so much for your reply Amyjeans.

I agree with you. I do find strength and confidence because of my God-given faith.
I was weak when I wrote the opening post. Fearing authorities but I am now confident that whatever happens happens and I believe having an UP/UC is what is best for me and my baby. I agree if I feel something is terribly wrong I will seek help but otherwise just keeping with my family sounds good to me.

[amyjeans]

You were not weak, in any way. You were and are still smart.

[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by amyjeans

You were not weak, in any way. You were and are still smart.

Thank you.

[kitty waltz]

Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006

I finally came to terms with it and I want to continue with my UP/UC. We don't have a ton of money and I really don't like doctors. And there's not much a midwife can do for me that I can't do for myself. I like the idea of documenting your own prenatals. I've read that can be potentially useful. Also, I think I'll get together a bunch of information on why I made each of my decisions or whatever. And I'll make up a backup birth plan in case I must be transfered to the hospital.

I just got a little panicky but really if somebody wants to mess with you they will no matter what. And I have plenty of other alternative things that might lead CPS to investigate me (like not doing well-child checkups) so what's the point in doing something I don't want to.

So here's me continuing with my plans as before. Just had a moment of waivering. Sadly, I discovered that my husband isn't as trusting in me this time as he was last time I planned my UC. Hope he gets over that. He did tell me I can do whatever I want though. So, I will.

Glad to hear it. I would definitely document your prenatals. Foster your self confidence as another poster said - know your state's laws, you aren't breaking them. If anyone has the nerve to question you, you will have full documentation. Get the UA strips if you haven't already, and use a midwife's chart for your prenatals. Then the care you are giving yourself is on a par w/ the midwifery model of care.