Moms of many...how to do nap time?

[Phoebe]

I am expecting #4 in January, have an almost 2yo and almost 4yo at home with me and a 6yo at school. My 2yo still needs a nap. We have prioritized family meals and early bedtimes. That is what works for us. So bed for all kids is 7pm for young ones and 8 for the oldest.
Nap for the 2yo happens at 11:30-12pm until around 1:30-2pm. We are not flexible with this time as it screws with bed time. Dh and I have this down to a fine science so that we can have an hour or so private at night.

Problem...2yo has weaned from his last nursing just this week...the naptime nursing. Now I'm faced with getting him to sleep otherwise. I lay down with him and it takes 45 minutes or more. At this point he goes to sleep...after I'm fed up and holler at him (which I hate), then he's out in 2 minutes after he is finally still and quiet.
My 4yo is left alone, which isn't horrible but not ideal. The big problem is when the baby gets here. I can tell my 4yo to hang on and watch Curious George for a but babies fuss and generally are not going to be quiet and put up with this routine with the 2yo.
Now, I highlight the inflexibility of our schedule. I am not a time flexible person so the "let him stay up until he passes out" advise won't fly for us. He's tired, yawning and ready to sleep at 12, besides I have to go get his brother from school at 2:30 so we can't push it much anyway.

So...this is what I want:
to say "time for nap", 2yo lies down with me for a 10 minute snuggle, I leave,he sleeps.
With many kids, I just can't devote the time to do this every day.

Gentle solutions??

Amy
Ugh, how to I accomplish this?

[laurata]

I'm thinking there may be some days without actual sleeping as you make this transition. It might be a few weeks of quiet time in which you make it clear that this is quiet time, and we need to rest in bed.

When my ds transitioned to sleeping in his own bed at night, my husband started keeping track of how many times he had to put ds back in bed. It was something like 60 times over the course of 90 minutes. It took about 10 days before he would allow dh to read to him, give him snuggles, and then stay in bed. (I could not have pulling this off. I was postpartum and suffering from undiagnosed fibromyalgia, and just don't have the patience.)

Have you tried audio books? Special "quiet time only" toys?

[Phoebe]

Thanks, you made me feel like this is possible! I have not tried audio books but a nap only stuffed animal has been introduced.
Patience is the key. It can be difficult when that hour if the day is my sit down and knit time. I need a break at mid day and in the evening to keep me sane, and a decent mother an wife.

Thank for your input. It really helped