Anyone have experience with LO's who do NOT want a sibling? - Page 2

[MommaMoo]

Wow, thank you for all the lovely replies! I do feel relieved that DS isn't the only kid who says those kinds of things and refuses to get excited over the baby. It is wonderful to see that All the older LO's in these posts have come to love their little siblings. Since DS has always been so opposed to being a big brother, I am really hoping that DS2 is an easy-going kid whose personality meshes with DS1. Funny that a lot of the older kids with the anti-sibling sentiments are so strong-willed. Perhaps they just feel too out of control when confronted with the possibility of such a big life change? Playing along with DS's desire to feel in control and helpful, I asked if he could help me keep the baby out of DH's room. He really went for that. I know I'll have to watch out for DS being too controlling of DS2. He would probably happily follow him around and tell him what to do all day Thanks to the advice given here, I am going to focus on making DS feel involved by giving him little tasks that make him feel involved, and on making sure he doesn't miss out on my attentions. I really feel that he will be able to adapt once he feels comfortable in his new role.

[quelindo]

I've been thinking about starting a thread to discuss exactly this, MommaMoo. My son is also five and tries to control things and give us ultimatums. And he's also always been VERY bonded to me. We homeschool, but whenever school is mentioned he says that he doesn't want to be "alone" (meaning without me or his dad).

A year ago or so he told me he wanted me to have another baby so he could nurse again, but once I became pregnant (not because he told me to, lol) he changed his tune. Now he says things like, "I hate babies. Babies are dumb. I'm going to stay in my room until the baby is five."

When he says he's going to do something mean to the baby I tell him that he can say he's not happy about the baby coming but he may not say or do mean things to the baby. And I try to point out the nice things, like the fact that it will be a while before the baby can talk so DS5 will be good company, and we'll be able to do things together that the baby won't.

But in general my son is someone who cannot be convinced of something that's not already his idea, so when someone tries to tell him how much he's going to love being a big brother or how much he'll be able to teach his little brother, etc., my son just gets MORE upset. So I do the "hmm" thing when he complains and a few times now he's actually made worksheets to "teach" the baby numbers or said, "I thought I wanted a baby, but I don't, but it's too late now."

I wish he were a kid who was excited about a sibling, but it is what it is. I figure it will all work out in the end.

And I'm due before you, so I will let you know how it goes...