Wow! Great replies everyone! Thank you for advice from the veterans and thanks especially to all of you who are going through this, too.
Originally Posted by RedOakMomma
...or wait. The extreme mama probably wouldn't have set her baby down to pee.
I had to majorly LOL when I read this. When Andrew was a few days old, I was trying to perfect the "hold baby squat and stand and wipe" move and then I was like "Good God! What am I doing?!" Fortunately, I *have* moved past this insanity.
Originally Posted by tribord
I know neither of us exactly followed Hypnobabies to the letter
but I swear if they put out a "new mom affirmations" CD I could listen to in the car (like the Pregnancy Affirmations) it would make such a difference to me. It would say things like:
"I am a great mother"
"My baby is thriving"
"My baby knows he or she is loved"
"I enjoy my post-partum exercises" (OK, maybe not that last one which would just make me feel really guilty)
I love it, tribord! If you come out with this track, I'll buy it!
Originally Posted by etsdtm99
i have to constantly remind myself that my baby can suck on something other than my breast.. if it was her finger/hand/my finger i wouldn't feel bad - so why do i feel horrible that she is taking a pacifier? i WANT her to do all of her comfort sucking at the breast (esp. since i'm not having issues with sore nipples this time) but when she does she either screams at me or projectile vomits all over everything because i have too much milk.. a pacifier IS better than projectile vomit. this should be obvious, but .. thats motherhood for you..
the truth is obvious.. we are ALL doing great..
I am so glad you brought this up. I feel like the pacifier is my dirty secret. I protested and was adamant with DH that there would be NO pacifier! It would kill my milk! It would ruin my baby! But when I was absolutely in agony with sore nipples, my mom, a successful breastfeeder (for 2+ years/baby) of 5 babies and former LLL leader said: you should use a pacifier after 5-7 minutes on each side so you can heal yourself. I cried over this! I was not enough! But you know what? It really helped me out; I am using it judiciously and not as an instant mute button (though the silencing side effect is a-okay with me when paci use is warranted!), and my nipples are already a lot tougher and I find I am able to nurse longer and more frequently. Soooo... I forgive myself this. But I still feel guilty that someone will see it in my diaper bag or in the folds of my sling and judge me. "You're giving a paci to a 3.5 week old? Straight to bad mom detention with you!"
The hilarious thing is, where I live, it's the stuff I WANT people to see--nursing in public, babywearing, cloth diapers--that are causing them to judge me. "Crazy hippy." LOL!
Originally Posted by AustinMom
I feel the same way, and mine, I know is from our birth, and how i feel because it didn't turn out ideal, that I've done something wrong, so now I'm trying to make up for that guilt I have there by doing everything else I can 'right' and therefore questioning it.
As far as holding. I say if you want to hold your baby, do it. If you want to do the dishes, do that. If you want to do both, you are going to need a baby wrap. This is what I use, as neither of my children have ever sat in anything more than 2-3 minutes, and it's the only way I can keep the massive amounts of dishes, dog hair, laundry, etc all clean without them crying the entire time.
As far as nipples....have you seen an LC. We had insanely sore nipples with our first, bleeding, cracked, sores, etc. Turns out he had a crappy latch that only one LC caught on to. So maybe start there?
Hope you are well otherwise.
Austinmom, you are amazing! If your Annabelle knew what a champ you were through your pregnancy and birth, she would never feel traumatized by anything again. Such love and courage from you!
The thing about wearing baby and doing the dishes (or whatever) is that it takes me twice as long, or I can't do it at all. I feel like I'm always ramming baby into the sink or soaking the sling with soapy water. For me, the sling makes the most sense when I need hands for activities like walking! Ha ha.
Nipples are doing much better! Andrew's latch was just fine; I was just letting him nurse 24/7 and not getting enough air to them. But I am toughening up already!
Thanks again everyone for a great dialog on this thread.