Originally Posted by EarthMamaToBe
For us it was just toy weapons and blue hair. I was in high school in the 80's weird was ok LOL. We never did feel stifled. I was always active in art and music and writing (still am), my siblings were very active in creative areas. Noisy was never an issue. We are all happy, peaceful, loving, successful adults. None of us feel deprived at not being allowed super violent weapons play.
And sure we played some of those things away from home but since we knew it was not allowed at home it was no big deal. It was a fun game nothing more.
But, it's not just a fun game to all kids. Imaginative play is a way of processing things, and one child being okay with being told "you can't process life in this fashion" doesn't mean that all children will be okay with it. This is a crucial way of processing things for some children.
|I do wish the child would play ANYTHING else for five minutes I admit.
I tend to feel that way when children get on a kick of playing the same way all the time, no matter what
|They say the same thing "Oh it does not faze him" I guess I WANT extreme violence to faze my child. I don't want that to all seem normal to him.
DS1 watched movies that I'm pretty sure everybody on MDC would feel were completely inappropriate for his age when he was little. He didn't watch slasher horror films, because I
never watched them, and couldn't even stand to have them on. But, he watched some pretty violent, dark, disturbing stuff. It didn't faze him. Extreme violence - any
violence - fazed and upset him. But, he understood very well, very early, that what was on tv wasn't real. I'm not going to say that all children are like that, because I know they're not (I'm 42, and ds1 had better ability to emotionally separate fact and fiction at 4 or 5 than I have now). But, a child being unfazed by something on tv does not
mean they're going to be unfazed by such things in real life. DS1 is now 17. He's not violent. He's very caring and gentle towards younger kids (sometimes a little impatient when his little brother climbs on his nuts or his baby sister claws his face - but not violent). The very first thing any of his teacher ever said to me was that he was very kind. Violence - real violence, where people get hurt - upsets him a lot.
|IMO "killing" is not play and not normal.
If it's not normal, there are a lot
of really freaky kids out there...mostly boys, but a lot of girls, too. Play is a way of processing life. Death is part of life, so death gets processed, too. That can happen in many, many ways, including by pretending to kill people, "monsters", etc. I've known many kids who will happily "kill" 100 "enemies" in 10 minutes of play...but who would go out of their way to avoid stepping on an ant, and are inconsolable when they [i]hear[i] about a small animal being hurt. Play isn't real.