Childcare centers - how much does director matter?

[Qestia]

DS spent about 2 1/2 years at a local preschool and had a great experience. It's close to our home, has nice facilities, has been there about 30 years. I was won over by the director who was a very warm, calm person.

Unfortunately she resigned this summer (after 15 years).

My DD was all set to start up in the summer in their small toddler room and she did. She had a pretty easy transition--despite 3 of her teachers quitting the first month (hmm, connected to the new director?). And really seems very happy. We're certainly happy to have her there-- before that it was almost an hour in the car to take her to her family daycare (which we also adored).

The problem? I HATE THE NEW DIRECTOR. She reminds me of Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter and is uptight, doesn't listen well, sends three or more emails a day supposedly detailing state laws and regulations that I've never heard of (after 3 years at this place). Today she sent one in all red font, with many words underlined and in caps.

Is this worth sending DD back to her old daycare for? Ever since I found out the previous director was leaving I had a bad feeling and I wish I'd followed my gut. But do you guys think it matters if DD is happy? But I've had bad bosses and I know it must trickle down to the teachers.

[Ellien C]

In my experience, the Director has made a huge difference in my day care. She sets the tone and expectations for the teachers. She's great for "not bothering" parents at work for little things - she understands teething temperatures and fussiness, whiny toddlers, colds and sniffles, nursing babies and overfeeding with bottles, positive feedback, discipline, etc. Without her it would have been a huge difference for me.

The emails in red and all caps is probably just a rookie-computer kind of mistake. If you don't work in an office with a lot of written emails, etc, you might really understand conventions and netiquette. That stuff I would overlook. State regs are HUGE deal - and could get her fined or shut down for even simple paperwork out of place. so that stuff I would overlook, too, especially if she is new.

Now we are into quality of care. Are your direct care givers OK? do they follow your philosophy and the "old tone?" If so, they I would keep on. But if she starts hiring more Dolores Umbridges like herself, then I would think about moving your child. Would an all-day pre-school be an option? If you aren't in "infant care" you might have more options in your town.

[busymama77]

The Director at DS1's former daycare is one of the reasons why we left. We voiced numerous complaints and felt like she didn't care much. That's why he's where he's at now and we love it. We love the Director, the teachers, the cirriculum, everything. Same for DS2's daycare. The Director is my age and we have a lot in common. We have the same parenting styles and that seems to help a lot, I think.

[Mosaic]

I'd get the real story from the teachers. In my experience, the director has a good amount of influence, but I wouldn't let him/her decide anything for me. I agree that she sets the tone, and as a result she can either empower teachers or frustrate them. Frustrated teachers get defeated and leave, but empowered teachers have the extra support to make positive changes and speak up when needed. But the teachers also know how to work with them, so a negative, annoying director may have very little impact on you or your child.

The teachers could also tell you the behind-the-scenes story of why the other director left. If the other one was sweet as sugar but a bit lax on some of the regulations, this one may be taking a hard stance at first to clean things up. I agree that the emails could be a rookie mistake and annoying; but it's also an opportunity for you to suggest making a new announcements bulletin board or an e-newsletter to cut down on the THIS IS SO SUPER IMPORTANT READ ME NOW!!! emails.

[MeepyCat]

I agree that the directors matter. They help to care for children, and they do the hiring (which is incredibly important). And they trickle down. Jobs in a group daycare situation are not so differentiated that the director may not be called on to care for a sick baby, or take a toddler to the bathroom, or help mop up vomit.

I like to be able to assume that if the daycare is trying to get in touch with me, it's important. Unless she needs me to do something, I don't need an update on state regs (and I appear to live in the same city you do). An email with a reassuring subject line, once or so a week, would probably cover her legal obligations to tell me about things.

I don't love the judgment the director is exhibiting in spamming all the parents all the time. And I am relying on the director's judgment for a lot of things - I would hope that she's better at figuring out when to call me than she is at figuring out when and how she should email. I'd probably try to move my kid. It would be a carefully researched, not immediate move, but it would happen.

ETA: I'm very happy with the preschool we send DS to, but I have no idea if it would be convenient to you. If you want the info, PM me.

[Qestia]

Thanks for all the feedback.

What bugs me the most about this is that I didn't follow my gut.

MAMAS, FOLLOW YOUR GUT!!!

I had a bad feeling about this from the beginning--even with the old director DD just seemed so young, and was so attached to her current caregiver. But the location was sooo convenient. When I found out the director was leaving I should have taken that as the universe telling me my gut was right. All that said... DD does seem very happy there. But...

So, I'm taking my concerns to the board (we have a parent board, they were very involved in hiring--maybe they can do something). I know I'm not the only parent with reservations about the director. We'll see how it goes with the board. Then we'll decide what to do.

Meepycat--thanks for the info--I pm'ed you.

[StephandOwen]

Having worked in a daycare let me say that how the director is means EVERYTHING. Want proof? Read my thread in TAO about the abuse that was happening (is happening?) at the daycare I worked at. I'll summarize it quickly- the director decided to put her own a$$ before that of the innocent children and covered up abuse that was happening. She refused to take my (and other workers) complaints seriously. When a child was hurt pretty badly (because the director ignored our complaints about the way the worker was handling the children) the tapes (there are cameras in every room recording everything) suddenly disappeared. The director continued to do nothing about it, allowing that worker to continue working in that room, telling the mom that nothing happened at the daycare and it must have happened at home (I know it didn't because I worked with the baby in the morning until 2pm and the baby was fine when I left. When the mom picked her up 3 hours later she was clearly injured), etc. Then the state got involved (because *I* called the state). Lots of more cover ups, lots of lies (when I was still working there I was involved in a meeting where the director and a couple of employees were trying to come up with a story to cover up something else that had happened). Even with the state involved quite heavily at this time, there is still abuse happening there and the director is still covering it up.

It doesn't matter how nice the workers in that particular room is (especially if there is a high turnover rate then you have no idea who will be working in the room from day to day), if you can't trust the director.