please tell me/ remind me I'm not the only one

[jsh7809]

... whose baby (almost 6 months) is STILL an awful sleeper. Nights and naps. I'm getting so burnt out (again) and reading all of the different strategies is just making me more tired. What I need is some good old fashioned commiseration to remind me I'm not alone.
She's a really easy baby except for the sleeping thing, which is kind of everything sometimes, you know? She slept relatively well as a newborn, stopped napping easily at about 4 weeks old but somewhere in that 1-2 month range, started sleeping in great chunks at night: sleeping something like 9pm to 2am, making peeping noises to nurse without waking all the way up again, back to sleep till 5 or 6am, and then another hour or so after nursing. I didn't know how great I had it!
Right before 4 months, she started fighting the swaddle with all of her might, wiggling and squirming and crying all night long. I figured "sleep regression" but it's never gone back to anything even remotely close to how it was before. Sigh.
Now we have a really reliable bedtime routine and time, but once I get her to sleep (requires her sucking on my fingers until she finally drifts off, frequently taking 20-45 minutes), she wakes up after the first sleep cycle. Then continuously until I finally get into bed with her. Then she wiggles and cries all dang night... I would say between 11pm and 3am sometimes she'll be still and sleep. She rarely wants to nurse, she just wants my finger to stay in her mouth, or something.
So, right now she is not napping well, no matter what I do (and yes I've tried, swaddling, NCSS, the swing, driving, walking, wearing, etc etc etc -she always wakes up after 45 minutes); she is difficult to get to go to sleep at night; she cries extensively in her sleep; and she seems to only want to sleep with me.

So, once again... can someone tell me this is a phase? Just a really, really, really long phase? I've heard that months 4-5-and-6 can be like this. But I've also heard months 8-10 can be like this too... so, is this just my life from now on?
And, what is the deal with the crying in her sleep? It's not crying out, and she never resettles - she just cries and cries, and if we were to leave her, she would get hysterical. But she's definitely not awake... is that normal?

ARGH. Thanks for letting me vent.

[rachieface]

You're not alone. Jude was a GREAT sleeper months two and three. I mean awesome...waking around 6 to nurse and then sleeping to 8 or 9. It was amazing and I felt on top of the world. Anyway, then 4 months hit...I too was hoping it was a regression but he's two weeks younger than your little one and still going strong....I can't complain too much but after a decent 4 hour stretch from like 10 to 2, he wakes every 2 hours or so and sometimes wants to be up for the day at 5 am. It is hard, especially when we were spoiled before!

He also does the sleeping/crying thing, but usually only during one of his naps. It's weird and frustrating because I feel like I can't help him much. My hope is that maybe this will get better in a few months when he a) starts getting into solids (none yet) and b) gets these first couple of teeth through! Definitely not sure this will help, but it's nice to have some hope.

[newmamalizzy]

Has she popped out any teeth yet? My DD is 6 months, too, and tonight we had to take her for an hour drive when she woke up an hour after being put down. I was in the shower, and her daddy tried, but...it's just not the same. She was hysterical by the time I got out. BUT - she's definitely teething and has been uncomfortable at night, waking a lot. We went through a really bad 4 month sleep phase, got better, but worse again now. Napping - AWFUL. Awful. And yes, it really does start to feel like your whole world. Sometimes I want to throw her out the window until she gives me a big grin through her tears and then I just want to hug her forever. Sigh. BTW - about a month ago I started holding DD all the way through her first sleep cycle of the night, seeing her through to the next before putting her down. It's worked wonders and I get to snuggle my little sleeping girl for 45 calm, relaxing minutes every evening.

[Baby_Cakes]

Aww, mama.

Yes, it's just a phase. And yes, it does get better. You can get through this and soon you will forget all about this. Well, maybe not forget -- but your memory will get very foggy!

What helped me (honestly) was throwing the NCSS out the window, and just accepting DD's sleep habits, crappy as they are, for what they were. Stop looking at the clock. Stop thinking OMG, babies her age need 14+ hours of sleep or else! Or else what??

How is she during the day? Happy? Alert? Responsive? Nursing well? Then don't worry.

You will get through it. Try to just take a deep breath now and then and stop fighting who she is. She is beautiful, and she is her own little being. There is no magic answer to it. You aren't doing anything wrong. You are being the best mother by listening to her cues and responding to her.

You are most definitely not alone!!

[jsh7809]

Awww, thanks ladies. That really helps. My patience is wearing thin... we have been so up and down with the sleep thing, and it just feels so lonely sometimes!
I have been trying to let go of everything I have read or heard about sleep and just do what works for us each night. Lately that has been staying snuggled up with her all night long, which is okay because I've been telling myself it won't last forever. So we'd try to get her in the crib here and there, try to have DH get up with her one night a week or so to give me a break, but overall, I was tired but getting enough rest to function and hoping it wouldn't last forever.
Things are getting worse again, though - I think it's due to one of those "mental leaps" that they go through around 6 months. Last night she would NOT settle until I finally went to bed with her (at 9pm!), got hysterical several times for seemingly no reason. I haven't seen any real signs of teeth yet (and I've been watching!!) but last night she really cried a LOT more than usual and thrashed around a lot, etc. This morning she seems to be desperate to chew on things with one side of her mouth, but it's molars... so maybe things are just uncomfortable?
I have to let go of not knowing what it is and just try to get through each day and night. But I'm just so frustrated and tired sometimes, and it feels like it won't get better.

It helps a lot to have these boards, especially because yesterday when I was venting to my MIL she told me that DH was even WORSE of a sleeper, and then said, "wow, you really love your sleep, don't you?!" in a tone that said to me that I should toughen up. Sigh. So I looked for commiseration from someone who's been through it and instead I got one-up(wo)manship and dismissal.

Thanks again...

[memz]

I could have written the exact same post.... And I can't really say that it gets better. My DD is now almost 9 months and it actually got worse.... At about 7 moyhs she started waking every 2 hours. Then it was every 1 1/2 hour and sometimes every hour. Sometimes after 30 minutes and sometimes whemn we laid her down. Now for the last 2 weeks we can't even put her down she wakes up instantly....So she has been either nursing all night...and that means that I don't sleep because I can't sleep when someone touches me..ARGGGHHHH Or Dh takes her in his arms and sleeps like that for a 2-3 hours on the recliner to give me a break...... We just get so frustrated sometimes, we don't know what to do anymore....

Anyway, I didn't want to hijack your thread...only to say that you are not alone. Hope things get better for you.... I guess we will all survive

[Tattooed Hand]

Yeah, I have to say, our situation has never been worse. DD is 10 months tomorrow and she went from being an OK sleeper to bad to totally horrendous now. If she naps 1 hour I throw a party. If she wakes 2-3 times a night, not very usual, I am elated. But usually we are looking at 4-8 wakeups a night. I am so tired...

I hope yours gets better...

[bec28]

Yup, Ds is almost 11 months here and his sleep is terrible right now. It was fairly bad around 6 months, and then he popped 4 teeth and it got a little bit better for a while, but never as good as when he was younger. But once he hit 10 months, it's just gotten worse and worse. I'm really hoping it's teeth, just that I can hope it gets better once they come through. I'm so very tired and losing patience as well. I just don't sleep so well laying on my side all night with him nursing, switching sides all night long.

[northerngirl]

You are not the only one. My dd, now 7 months, has been up about every two hours for over the past 2 months. But up until then she was an AWESOME sleeper compared to our 4 year old who still is a bad sleeper (very wiggly). She would sleep from like 10pm to 4 or 5 am. It was heaven. We did swaddle her from the beginning, but then she didn't like it anymore and was fine without it. Then what I think jinxed me, is that I was sorta blabbing that "oh dd is such a good sleeper". Yeah I've shut my trap now. When people ask me now I just say "oh fine", while grumbling under my breath. It is incredibly frustrating when I have to work the next day. I am hoping it is related to her now having two bottom teeth and rolling over and sitting up. Hoping.